South Park Season 10 quotes

Cartman

I don't believe it. She is using the Mel Gibson defense.

Do we still press charges?

Who are we gonna convict? Johnny Walker?

Poor woman, she's a victim. A hot victim.

Was there ever history of sexual abuse in your family?

No, but my uncle used to ask me and my twin sister to kiss, and he'd take pictures.

...Nice.

Ike, let's get out of here. They'll never let us be together. I think we should go to Milan, like we talked about.

Yaaaaay, Mulan!

Dammit! Where were all these sexed-up teachers when I was a kid?!

Kyle

Ike, you need to have a life, have fun! THEN ruin it by having a serious relationship!

Satan, we have a problem.

What?

One of the guests has turned up in a Crocodile Hunter costume, and it's really offending some of the other guests.

Oh, jeez. [walks across the party to a guest in a Crocodile Hunter outfit with a stingray hanging off his chest] Erm, er, dude, the whole Crocodile Hunter thing, it's just a little soon, you know. I mean, he only died a few weeks ago. It's just not cool. Gotta leave.

But it's me, Satan! Steve Irwin! I am the Crocodile Hunter!

Oh. Oh, but then dude, no costume. Sorry, you're going to have to go!

[being dragged away] Wait! I thought we were friends!

Oh, hey Sinatra!

[having been told his guests don't care about the Acura cake] It's not about them, it's about meeeeeeeeee!

Wow, what a jerk.

[to crowd] Everybody, I'm sorry. Halloween is for you. It's for all of you who make my life so special. If I don't realize that, then I'm no better than a rich American teenage girl.

[pulling up to the house as Butters runs out] Butters! We told you to be in bed! What are you doing?

Butters

[traumatized] I summoned Biggie Smalls, the hip-hop rapper!

You had a nightmare. Turn around and get back in your room, right now!

Butters

But, Dad, Biggie Smalls is gonna bust a cap in my ass!

Well, do you want to get shot or you want to be grounded? [Butters runs back inside the house and to his room, screaming; to Linda] Honestly, why do you let him watch that darned Black Entertainment Channel?

Then at midnight for dessert, I was thinking we could bring out a giant chocolate fondue fountain.

Oh yeah. P. Daddy had his birthday here a couple of years back and he had one of those.

Oh, screw that, then. I don't want a fondue fountain if P. Daddy had one.

Does it matter?

Yes, it matters! I don't want to do it if Daddy did it!

How about a donut machine?

[to hotel owner] Did Daddy do it?

Daddy did do it.

A full ice cream bar!

Daddy did it.

Damn it, what didn't Daddy do?!

Science darn you, Unified Atheist Alliance!

Know this, time child! I shall smash your skull like a clam on my tummy!

I shall personally kill the time child, and eat his entrails on my tummy!

I'm not a monkey! I'm a woman.

Kyle

[to Cartman] Yeah, I hate you, but I'm not going to help kill you!

Cartman

I thought you were my friends! I guess I was wrong! After all we've been through together, you guys won't even help me freeze myself!