“Go God Go” quotes from South Park

Science darn you, Unified Atheist Alliance!

Know this, time child! I shall smash your skull like a clam on my tummy!

I shall personally kill the time child, and eat his entrails on my tummy!

I'm not a monkey! I'm a woman.

Kyle

[to Cartman] Yeah, I hate you, but I'm not going to help kill you!

Cartman

I thought you were my friends! I guess I was wrong! After all we've been through together, you guys won't even help me freeze myself!

Cartman

Okay, how long until the Nintendo Wii comes out?

Stan

It's still three weeks.

Cartman

Oh, God! [pause] Okay, how long is it now?

Kyle

Will you shut up already?

Okay, children, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution.

Butters

Oh, boy!

Now, I, for one, think that evolution is a bunch of bullcrap, but I'm told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this. In the beginning we were all fish, okay, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something, and made this...retard frog-squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt-sex with that monkey, that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you. So there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt-sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations!

Cartman

Arrrghh! I can't take it anymore! [runs of screaming]

Yeah, you see? I knew that would happen.

[ringing a triangle] Uh-oh, retard alert! [walks up to Stan's desk] Do you believe in a flying spaghetti monster, too, bubble-head?!

Stan

I wasn't talking about spaghetti.

[picks up Stan and his desk and carries him over to the blackboard] Come on, you. You're gonna have to sit in the dunce chair! [sets him down and places a dunce cap that reads, "I have faith" on his head]

[to Cartman] Look, kid, for the 40th time: pacing in front of the store isn't going to make the Wii come any faster.

And if I'm a monkey, then I might as well act like a monkey, huh? [starts acting like a monkey, then pulls down her pants and starts pooping into her hand]

What on Earth are you doing?

Don't ask me, I'm a fucking monkey! [throws feces at Dawkins's face]