Scott Leibfried quotes from Hell's Kitchen

What else do we have to do?

AH! (cuts his finger when slicing a potato) Fuck me! FUCK!

Medic! I need a medic!

Are you serious?

Umm, it's just a cut, second on the middle thumb, middle finger. It's getting in the fingers too. (reveals that the tips of 3 of his fingers are almost cut off completely, and a dissonant chord plays)

(interview) Andy, like, the tips of his fingers were literally taken off. It was so deep and so horrible.

(Dispatching to the paramedics) I have Andy. He needs to go to the clinic and needs stitches on its all three fingers.

It's fucking raw.

Yeah, that's no good.

Everybody, come here a minute! Just touch that! I requested it rare!

Raw.

There's a big fucking difference between rare and raw! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SCOTT?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON?

Nothing chef.

(interview) Scott fucked up twice; he destroyed us tonight. He should be gone.

(interview) Scott tries to be the leader, the best, bla-bla-bla, but that was still mooing.

It's bright white fat! It's fucking raw!

How long, Scott?

I need 3 minutes, okay?

Fuck off, okay?!

We haven't sent one table yet!

Raj, where's the scrambled egg?

Okay. (brings his scrambled eggs to the pass)

(tastes) Hey guys, guys. Come here. All of you, come here! Quick! Hurry up! (pushes Raj out of his way) Get out of the way. Get out of the way. Oooh, get out of the way. Taste it. Taste it. Taste it, taste it, taste it, taste it! Not an OUNCE of seasoning!

What do you—?!

We're doing it again! Don't argue with chef!

(interview) Don't talk back to chef. He says something, you say "Yes, chef" and move on. That's it.

Say that again? Hey, say that again? Say–say–don't spit fucking scrambled egg in my face! Say that again?! Say that again?!

Yes, chef.

There's not an ounce of fucking seasoning in there. These guys save lives for a living, yeah, and you're about to fuck up their breakfast. Got it?

Yes, chef! (interview) Chef Ramsay's like "Oh, my God! THERE'S NO SALT! THERE'S NO PEPPER!" and I'm like "What the–?" (to his teammates) Go ahead, go ahead, go! Go! (interview) I thought I seasoned it, chef, correctly. But no. Obviously I didn't.

Why's he cooking scrambled egg when he can't even season it?

(interview) I tried to make some sense out of this intense chaos. [goes into the pantry and puts his head in the refrigerator] I got to cool off somehow. (interview) I tried to clear my head by sticking my head in the refrigerator... but I couldn't.

RAJ, MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS!! (to blue team) Somebody take control, please!!

While the blue team...

Salmon!

The salmon's ready.

...has moved on to entrées.

And it's perfect! (interview) I have personally cooked thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of salmon in my life.

What's that in there? Wh-what...?

That's not grilled.

Oh, dear. Raj! What's that? What is that stock he's putting in that salmon?

It's supposed be grilled, dude.

Yeah, I grilled it, and then I finished it with a little bit of sauce.

No sauce, bro. [Gordon drains the contents of the pan onto Raj's worktop and drops the pan] C'mon, get another one going, bro!

(interview) My personal techniques are not working for Chef Ramsay.

Disgusting!

(interview) He's the chef, it's his opinion, and I have zero opinion.

Start over.

Raj's cooking techniques aren't cutting in with Chef Ramsay. And in the Red kitchen...

(with an overcooked Dover Sole) Melissa, it's overcooked!

...neither are Melissa's.

Out it comes, look at that. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as fuck, and it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop! (drops the Dover Sole) What a shame!

(interview) I don't know where he comes up with this stuff! Gandhi didn't even wear flip-flops, he lived in the jungle, I don't think the dude even had shoes.

Look it underneath! [knocks his hand on the workstation]

(interview) Shit!

Chef, hold on. (on his wellingtons) It's raw.

Oh, come on.

I can't give you raw meat. I'm sorry chef.

Thanks to Boris, no food is leaving the Blue kitchen.

There you go, send it back.

But thanks to Raj, none of them are going to waste.

(interview) I see all this food, and it looks delicious, so I just, you know, ate it.

Raj, please don't do that.

Look, he's eating it, look! Haven't you got enough in there?

But that's so good! It's really a waste.

Wow!

No. I mean — just a quick little bite. It's really tasty.

Ah, fucking hell.

(interview) How could Chef Ramsay blame me for eating this delicious food? It's fantastic.

While Raj has snack time in the blue kitchen over in the Red kitchen, Gail... [cuts to Gail staring in space]

Gail!

...has nap time.

Wakey-wakey! (sees Gail's meat pan catching fire) You're on fire.

(interview) Oh, my God! There's flames shooting up! And Gail was (sticks her tongue out in disgust) nothing. Nothing's happening.

Gail, out the way! Oh my God. [removes the pan off the burner and throws it into the sink; gets the burnt rib-eye beef] Gail, I think your pan's a bit too hot. [throws the rib-eye back in the sink] You've lost it.

I haven't lost it.

Yes, you - look, you've given up. Body language, face, attitude, you've given up. Anyone that can stand there, and watch a piece of rib-eye beef SET ON FIRE is out of control! You've given up.

Back in the blue kitchen...

Up to the pass with the halibut. (brings his halibut to the pass)

Raj is eager to finally impress Chef Ramsay.

Sorry about the delay, let's go.

(interview) HIIYYYYAAAHHHH! HAH!

Maybe, a little too eager.

[finds that Raj has cooked three other Dover soles] How many have you cooked? One, two, three. Oh my God.

(interview) When I get busy, I just start firing everything. So when they need it, I got it.

What are you doing? Playing the odds? Maybe one will be good out of three?

(interview) But this is Chef Ramsay's kitchen, you can't do that.

Why would I try to fire three tables?

Uhm, yes. Uhm...

(disgusted) Donkey.

Dude, you can't serve this to anybody. He's not going to take that. (interview) Raj cooks three Dover soles before they were even remotely close to... to needing them.

SOLE SPECIAL!

Chef, we ran out of the sole special.

What... [reaches for a ticket] I've got three on OR-DER?!?!

(interview) We ran out of Dover sole? Oh, man. This is going to be real ugly.

Oh, no... [goes near the door and sits in fetal position]

(interview) This sucks. Embarrassing! Fuck!

(interview) It's a very bad situation. I don't know what we're going to do. I think we have to figure something out quickly.

[to Raj] Get out there and tell them you're dragging two! And you go to the customers and tell them you fucked it up!

I need another jacket, though. I can't go out there with this jacket.

Hey come—come here you. If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a fuck if you've got a thong on your fat crack, get out there!

I can't, with this thing. I can't, I'm sorry, chef.

Hey, hey, listen. Fuck off out there, will you?

[removes his apron and goes over to Chef Scott] I can't put this—

PUT IT DOWN, AND GET OUT THERE!

[leaves the kitchen and goes to the diners to apologize] (interview) Couple of things are going to my head. [talks to hungry diners] Hi, my name is Raj.

How's it going back there?

(interview) My God, look at this, I'm a star. [talks to the diners again] I'm terribly sorry, but we ran out of the sole special. (interview) Then the next thing you know, look at this, I'm an idiot. So it's this elation and then this degration. All at the same time. [to the diners] We have other nice fish, though, if you'd like to try that instead.

One chicken, one pork chop!

Five minutes chef.

(holds the tickets) He's trying to propose to his future fiancée!

Yeah.

Move, Louis!

Yes, chef.

You'll make them break up before they even fucking get married!

Thirty seconds, cutting the pork now. (interview) Once you get behind on something, you can't let things get to you. I am just hitting my stride, and I'm ready to rock it. (on his pork chop) The pork is fucking pink! Chef Scott?

What?

[carries the pork in his hands] I fucked the pork and it's pink. It's pink chef.

You can't even put it on a pan, you god damn slob?! You're going to walk around with a pork chop in your hands like that?! GET IT IN THE FUCKING OVEN!!!

Yes, chef.

(to Louis) You walk around like a pig, what kind of slob are you?

(interview) Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!

All of you, come here!

Fuck!

ALL OF YOU!!! You fucking go on a reward, you take advantage, you come back and you perform like FUCKING IDIOTS!!

Yes, chef.

GET A GRIP!!

Yes, chef.

Or FUCK OFF!!

Yes, chef!

(to Scott) Is it cooked?

Uh, it's cooked alright. Half of it is mush on the outside and the center's well done.

Uh oh.

[returns the lobster to the workstation] On a night like tonight! You (Rob) keep me dragging for the chicken! You (Boris) keep me dragging for the appetisers, then Vinny sends me this.

I'll fix it.

(sarcastically) "I'll fix it."

(interview) We're going down in a heap like a California mud-slide.

Chicken?

(brings his chicken to the pass) Going up with the chicken!

It's pink. [returns the chicken to the workstation] All of you, come here!

(interview) Uh-oh. It's fucking chicken, Rob.

Pink, pink, don't dare touch it... pink, pink. All of you! What are we doing here? [Shows the faces of Boris, Russell, Christina & Rock, the people in the dining room, Danny & Holli, Vinny & Rob] GET OUT! Get out of here. [angrily throws his spoon at the Blue team as they exit the kitchen] GET OUT!

[points at red kitchen] They're on their fifth ticket, you're on your second.

(to Rob) Step it up.

We gotta come back from this. Let's go. Push it out!

Come on, Rob!

Yes, chef.

Move it, big boy!

Yes, chef.

Rob, (claps) MOVE!

Yes, chef! (brings scallops to the pass)

[checks scallops with Sous Chef Scott] There's no colour on there.

He's just not starting with the pan hot enough.

[returns to workstation] I've got no fucking colour on my SCALLOPS! [angrily drops plate] FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

(interview) Come on! Let's get through a fucking service, please!

They're raw, Rob!

I gave them a minute each side!

What's that gotta do with it? Where's your oil? They're fucking raw! [starts cooking Rob's raw scallops] You take them out when they're fucking cooked! Their table's eating bar one!

(interview) Ninth service, and Rob still can't cook scallops.

Rob, the largest one is the thickest one, so that comes out last.

(interview) I mean, Rob... Are you a complete fucking idiot?

Sorry about the delay, let's go.

That won't happen again, guys. I got it.

Lamb's still not ready.

Un-fucking-believable. Vinny! Are you fucking kidding me?! With a man like that and his reputation, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!! (slams his hand on the workstation) OH, COME ON!!

(interview) Don't serve it if ain't right. You should know better, Vinny.

If my lamb was here, these guys wouldn't be getting yelled at.

It's still fucking walking, LOOK AT IT!!

I love it. Get 'em, Ram- Get 'em, chef!

[pauses for a brief moment] THIS IS CAR CRASH!! Trev, Russell, Vinny, DO SOMETHING!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!

How long Trev, two spaghetti?

Four!

Four? Four minutes that is pasta getting to cook in four minutes, Trev?

THERE'S PASTA IN THE BACK!

Stop yelling!

(approaches to Trev and yells at him) Hey! You watch your mouth right now! You don't stand over there and scream, I'm the one that's waiting for food from you, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND COOK THE PASTA!

Shit!

(interview) Now I'm trying, all you want to do is berate me, belittle me, get on my ass? Piss off!

Talk about out of fucking control.

What's he done to this? [returns the cod to the workstation] BLUE TEAM!

Yes, chef?

NO garnish anywhere, STILL fragmented and look! It's burnt! [holds up the cod, shows it to the Blue team and angrily slams it on the workstation; calls Chino]

(interview) I burnt the miso cod. You know, I should know this shit too because I'm Asian.

Oh, guys!

(interview) Chino really fucked the cod up, man. Basted that motherfucker with roof tar or something.

Chino!

Yes, chef?

Come here, you! Get out of my sight.

[leads Chino to the Chef's Table] Sit down.

Scott, get him peeling onions, garlic, but away from the stove!

[brings onions and garlic to Chino at Chef's Table] There you go. At least you won't be able to burn any of that.

(interview) Ugh. Horrible.

Absolute fucking useless!

Burnt on the bottom?

Yup.

[Returns to the workstation with burnt risotto and scrapes it in front of the Blue Team] Risotto burnt, and overcooked on the bottom! [Drops the pan] It's going to pot!

I got it, chef! [Prepares another risotto] I got it, chef! I got another one, chef!

(interview) It looked like somebody just took the pan and shit in it, and then tried to put some risotto on that, man.

[Brings the risotto to the pass] Risotto, chef.

I can't believe it, he did it again.

[returns to the workstation and scrapes the risotto] I've got another burnt risotto, it's burnt! [Throws the risotto in the bin along with his spoon and the pan] It's FUCKING BURNT!!! Chino, what the fuck is going on? How long for the risotto?

Eight minutes, chef. I'm sorry about that.

Eight minutes? (to James) Excuse me, I apologize, the risotto's behind it, yes? (to Chino) Come on, Chino!

(interview) I can't have another bad service today. Right now, I have to take this more seriously like nobody else. I have to prove to Chef Ramsay that I belong here.

If you burn me that risotto one more time...

No, chef.

Look at me - hey, look at me... I'll drag you out of here.

No, chef. No, chef.

Cod, bass!

Oh, Jesus Christ! Sea bass is fucking falling apart.

Sea bass is what?

Sea bass fell apart.

Oh, boy. Scott.

(Gives Monterray on a lesson) When you take the fish out of the pan, you leave it on the spatula.

It fell apart. There's nothing I can do. It fell apart.

You leave it on the fucking spatula! Is that what you did?

No, it's not.

No, you didn't. So it's the fish's fault again?

No, it's not. It fell apart. There's nothing I can do. It fell apart.

There IS something you can do, because you should be fucking responsible enough to CARE! YOU'RE GONNA FUCKIN' LIE TO MY FACE AND TELL ME THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!

(interview) I understand what he's telling me and I'm listening to him, but you ain't going to keep fucking cussing at me. I don't give a fuck who you are: Chef Ramsay, Chef Scott, Chef Andi. You ain't going to keep talking to me like that!

So don't sit here and BULLSHIT me and tell me that there's nothing you can do!

I'm not bullshitting you. I put it on- I have it. I'm putting it on there-

You've given up! Get- BULLSHIT! SHUT UP!

And Monterray has decided to go toe-to-toe with Sous Chef Scott.

All you have to do is bring it up, and it won't break!

I understand. I understand.

DO YOU?! Then FUCKIN' DO IT!

I'm positive.

Then DO IT!

Then it's done then.

Fuck you!

Well fuck you too then! [throws pan into the sink] You fucking serious, dawg?

(interview) When you fucking got too much pride and you wanna stand there and fucking cuss at Chef Scott, that's the motherfucker that needs to go home.

Pass me some goose necks, please.

(interview) Yeah, just shut him down and send his ass home right now. That's a done deal.

What is that?

Cold too. Ice-cold.

CHINO!!

(interview; sighs)

All of you, come here! Just touch that. Touch the meat.[Blue Team touches the wellington] It's raw! RAW!!

Come on, we need to get it together!

Come on, guys!