“Episode Four” quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(to Melissa) So three three's are what?

[while cooking ravioli] Six.

(shakes his head) Oh...

Oh, three three--nine! Yes!

And you've got-- hey, come here you. Come here. Three three's are six?

No--I was counting the pans, chef. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? You can't even count to nine. You scare me.

(interview) What the fuck is she doing over there? Melissa can't handle it.

Two three's are six. Three three's are what?

Nine.

(interview) Do you want me to come over there and cook for you?

Right now, get it together, and we need to focus!

Yes, chef.

Blue team, Table 3.

[finds that the pizza is burnt on the bottom; returns and slams the pizza on Rob's station] Come on, chunky monkey! I trusted you. I don't need to turn your pizzas upside down. When it's fucking burnt, don't send it! [gives the pizza to Rob] In fact, you know what? Fuck off to the bar, eat the pizza. Get out, eat it, and come back!

(interview) Come on, get over yourself. It's the last thing I wanted to do while my team's getting pummeled, and it's so degrading. [goes into the bar and eats the burnt pizza]

(to Louis) You can't fucking cook a pork chop, he (Rob) cremates a fucking pizza!

(interview) I don't know if that was really a punishment for Rob. I mean, come on. Chef Ramsay sends the fat guy to the bar to go eat his own burnt pizza.

[eats burnt pizza at the bar] Fucking humiliating bullshit.

One chicken, one pork chop!

Five minutes chef.

(holds the tickets) He's trying to propose to his future fiancée!

Yeah.

Move, Louis!

Yes, chef.

You'll make them break up before they even fucking get married!

Thirty seconds, cutting the pork now. (interview) Once you get behind on something, you can't let things get to you. I am just hitting my stride, and I'm ready to rock it. (on his pork chop) The pork is fucking pink! Chef Scott?

What?

[carries the pork in his hands] I fucked the pork and it's pink. It's pink chef.

You can't even put it on a pan, you god damn slob?! You're going to walk around with a pork chop in your hands like that?! GET IT IN THE FUCKING OVEN!!!

Yes, chef.

(to Louis) You walk around like a pig, what kind of slob are you?

(interview) Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!

All of you, come here!

Fuck!

ALL OF YOU!!! You fucking go on a reward, you take advantage, you come back and you perform like FUCKING IDIOTS!!

Yes, chef.

GET A GRIP!!

Yes, chef.

Or FUCK OFF!!

Yes, chef!

(to Boris) Can you stop washing pans?

Boris!

(interview) Wow, Boris! What the fuck!

This is a fucking kitchen!! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING RUN A GODDAMN RESTAURANT!!!

Yes, chef.

Come here you! [leads Boris to the washroom] You want to wash pans?! Get down there! Fuck off will you?! Do it full-time! Get on there! What a muppet.

(interview) I've never been kicked out of the kitchen in my life and it's all my fucking fault.

LA Market is not looking for a fucking head chef in PANS!

All of you, just stop! You make yourself look so stupid. And look, the food dying. It's like a funeral in here. Do me one big favour: Get out. GET OUT! We'll (himself, Scott and Andi) cook. Get out. Andi, Scott, let's go [The women and the remaining men leave the kitchen]

(interview) Let's throw a whole bunch of chicks in to the mix and maybe it'll make everything all better. No, it made it worse, too many cooks in the kitchen man!