Are you wearing a grocery bag?
[dignified fashion] I have misplaced my pants.
“Bart After Dark” · Season 8
In this episode: Belle (4), Homer Simpson (3), Showgirls (3), Bart Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (2), Seymour Skinner (2), Joe Quimby (2), Moe Szyslak (1)
Maison Derrière? I can't believe there's a place like that in our wholesome little town! Homer, did you know there was a burlesque house that you sent Bart to work there?
[The citizens of Springfield are watching slides that show Maison Derriere's clients]
[Slide of Dr. Hibbert]
Julius!
[Slide of Chief Wiggum]
SSarah
Clancy!
[Slide of Skinner]
Skinner?
Seymour!
Mother...
[Slide of Patty]
[off-screen] Patty?
[Slide of Cletus]
Cletus!
[Slide of Barney, to which nobody reacts]
MMoe
... Oh, uh... Barney.
[Slide of Chief Wiggum]
SSarah
Clancy!
Hey, come on, you did me twice.
[Slide of Smithers]
Smithers?
My... my parents insisted I give it a try, sir.
[Slide of Quimby, wearing a "Mayor" sash]
Mayor Quimby!
Uh, well, that could be any mayor.
I rest my case.
Er, uh, well... eh, in light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action. All in favor of demolishing our beloved burlesque house, raise your hands.
[Homer storms into the Maison Derriere's main hall to give Belle a piece of his mind]
Hey Bart is my son and I don't want him working [a strip tease show begins in the background] so... late.
Oh I agree, kids need rules and boundaries.
[mesmerized by the show] Yes, everyone loves rules.
It's so hard to be a parent today. Why with all the gangs, and the drugs.
Oh yea drugs, drugs, ya gotta have drugs. [walks in to watch the show]
Hey, he didn't pay the cover.
Oh Bart, he's your father... We'll comp him tonight and start a tab tomorrow.
You could close down Moe's or the Kwik-E-Mart
And nobody would care
But the heart and soul of Springfield's inn
Our Maison Derrière...
We're the sauce on your steak
We're the cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield
S1Showgirl 1
We're the lace on the nightgown
S2Showgirl 2
The point after touchdown
BSBelle/Showgirls
Yes, we put the spring in Springfield
We're that little extra spice that makes existence extra-nice
A giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals
S3Showgirl 3
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
S3Showgirls 3/4
They seem to entertain your dad!
BSBelle/Showgirls
The gin in your martini
The clams on your linguine
Yes, we put the (BOING!!) in Springfield
WKWiggum/Krusty/Skinner
We remember our first visit
The service was exquisite
QMs. Quimby
Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Come on now, you were working here
AJAbe/Jasper
Without it we'd have had no fun since March of 1961!
To shut it down now would be twisted
JDJimbo/Dolph/Kearney
We just heard this place existeeeeed!
We're the highlights in your hairdo
AApu
The extra arms on Vishnu
So don't take the (BWONG!!)
MMen
We won't take the (VUUEH!!)
EEveryone
Yes, let's be the (DON!!)
In Springfieeeeeld!
(SPLAT!! DAHK!! BONG!! WOOGA!! KRRRE!! EHURP!!)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.