Mrs. Krabappel quotes from The Simpsons

Bart did get 100. I gave a test on state capitals, but I forgot to roll up the map. Everyone got 100.

Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term. Are you aware of that?

Bart

Yes, ma'am.

Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow on colonial America?

Bart

Yes, ma'am.

Blablahblablah blahblahblablahblah?

Bart

Yes, ma'am.

Blahblah blahblablablahBLABLAH..?

Bart

Yes, ma'am.

BART! You haven't been paying attention to a word I said, have you?

Bart

Yes, ma'am.

Well, then, what did I say?

Bart

Uuhhhh...."Straighten up and fly right?"

Ptch - that was a lucky guess!

Martin

Later, Mrs. K.

Please turn in your exam, Bart. Class is over.

Bart

You think you could grade it now, please?

Well, alright. Let me get "Old Red". [produces a red pen and begins marking up the test] Well, Bart, it's a 59, that's another F.

Bart

Oh, no...I can't believe it.

I know, I know, another year together, oh, it's gonna be hell. [Bart begins to cry] What's the matter, Bart? I thought you'd be used to failing by now.

Bart

[sobbing] No, you don't understand! I really tried this time! I mean, I really tried!

[comforts Bart] There, there.

Bart

This is as good as I can do, and I still failed!

Well, a 59, it's a high F...

Bart

Who am I kidding? I really am a failure. [sobs] Oh, now I know how George Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity to the French in 1754!

Bart

Someday, I want to be an F-14 pilot like my hero, Tom. He lent me this new weapon called a neural disrupter.

Martin

Hey...

He's not dead, is he Bart?

Bart

Nah, but I wouldn't give him any homework for awhile.

Very good, Bart. Thank you.

Bart

Oh, don't thank me. Thank an unprecedented eight-year military build-up.

Mmm. Milhouse, you're next.

Uh, I have a horsey.

Wuss!

Seymour, you're being totally unfair and the teachers won't stand for it.

Principal Skinner

Teachers, you don't have the guts to strike!

You don't have the guts to takes us on.

Principal Skinner

That's it!

STEEEE-RIKE!

Principal Skinner

[via intercom] Attention, this is an emergency broadcast, all is well within the school. My authority as principal is total... [Krabappel snatches the microphone back from him] No, give me that...

[via intercom] Attention teachers, we're on strike. Ha!

Lisa

Oh no, strike?

Miss Hoover, are you on...

Miss Hoover

Go home, children!

Bart

Skinner says the teachers will crack at any minute.

Skinner says the teachers will crack at any minute, purple monkey dishwasher.

Well we'll show him...especially for that "purple monkey dishwasher" comment.

"Embiggens"? I never heard that word before I came to Springfield.

Miss Hoover

I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.

Bart

So I looked out the window, and there it was the grossest sight I have ever--

Skinner

[through speaker] Bart Simpson, report to the principal's office immediately!

Skinner

Now, Bart... son. I don't know what you think you saw but uh, let me assure you that...

What Seymour- oh, what Principal Skinner means to say, Bart, is that sometimes a little boy's imagination can run away with him!

Bart

That's the best you can do? You could have at least said you were giving her CPR or rehearsing a play!

Skinner

Is it... too late to say that?

Bart

Mmm-hmm!

[cough] We're just a little concerned. If people were to find out the principal was dating a teacher, they might see it as a conflict of interest.

Skinner

[chuckles] And there are those who might try to use it against us for their own advantage-

Bart

Like me, for one!

Skinner

Like you, for... Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it's to know when I'm beaten. Let's talk deal.

Lisa

Nelson, you're running for school president?

I'm not saying I have all the answers. But, I do have all the answer keys...to every test.

Fractions, dinosaurs, foreign money, the first Thanksgiving...

Nelson, what are you doing?

Real-estate license exam?

My ticket to freedom!

Bart

Who's the new meat in my seat?

Bart, this is Donny. He's here at our school because he was kicked out of P.S. 132.

P.S., that school sucked.

Don't worry, Bart. Willie's bringing you something to sit on.

Hey, Krabappel! Your name sounds like "crabapple". Did you go sour waiting for someone to pick you?

[sighs] Pretty much.

[in front of the class] You're children. Why do you all need cell phones?

Safety.

Emergencies.

Safety.

Educational.

Edna please! Even the Union can't protect you from this.

[To Mr. Largo] Give me one night, Dewey. I'll get you off Broadway..

[Horrified] Never!

Principal Skinner

[Holds Mrs, Krabappel's hand] Edna, let's go.

Bart

[To Mrs. Krabappel] I was the one who put liquor on your coffee and got you fired. [chuckles]

[shocked] You did What?!

Bart

Please, don't kill me!