I still believe in God. I just think there's another path to him, or her.
Marge Simpson: Her?! [addressing God] She's just kidding, Mister Lord!
“She of Little Faith” · Season 13
In this episode: Lisa Simpson (5), Bart Simpson (3), Homer Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (1), Ned Flanders (1), Nelson Muntz (1), Kearney Zzyzwicz (1), Jimbo Jones (1)
Hey Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity.
Who cares?
I'll tell you someone who cares. He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood.
His name's Gunner and he's dating my mom. Sometimes, he buys us beer.
I thought Kearney was dating your mom.
Hey, she came on to me.
Get him! (The bullies -- and Bart -- pummel Kearney)
I'm not gonna pick a religion just because it sounds cool.
How about Judaism? When you turn thirteen, cha-ching!
[shouting outside] Hey, I'm a Buddhist!
[gasps] My Satan sense is tingling!
So, you think you know better than this family, huh? Well, as long as you're in my house, you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! (it turns out that he is talking to Bart) So butter your bacon!
Yes, Father.
(walking in) Mom, Dad, my spirital quest is over!
Hold that thought... (to Bart) Bacon up that sausage, boy!
But, Dad, my heart hurts! (Homer glares at him, Bart reluctantly wraps a slice of bacon around his sausage and eats it)
I'm a Buddhist!
What? That's it, no more chat rooms for you!
Yeah, I wanted to spend Christmas with you guys.
So you're back on the winning team?
No, I'm still Buddhist, but I can worship with my family too.
So you're just going to pay lip service to our church?
Uh-huh!
That's all I ever asked.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.