[in a meeting with Terrance and Phillip]
Alright, just what the hell is going on here?!
You censored out the image of Muhammad in our television special!
NPNetwork President
Ey! You guys know the rules! Nobody can show the image of Muhammad anymore! It's dangerous!
But you ruined the whole show!
NPNetwork President
Look, I'm not gonna risk the lives of the people at this network. Let's just forget about it, okay, guys? [farts and laughs. Terrance and Phillip look hard at him, their arms crossed] Aw, come on guys, give me a break.
We demand you rerun Mystery at the Lazy "J" Ranch with Muhammad uncensored!
CPCBC President
Ey, I make the rules, not you guys! And if you ask me, your show has become so preachy and full of morals that you have forgotten how to be funny! No Muhammad!
[rather clearly baked out of his skull, mixing Chang sauce at his new PF Chang's job] How spicy would you like your Chang sauce?
MDMale diner
Can you just place our order, please?
OH, man, I have no idea what's going on.
MManager
Everything okay here?
MDMale diner
Fine, except this towel has been mixing Chang sauce for fifteen minutes. He's clueless!
Don't call me shoeless! YOU'RE shoeless!
CCustomer
Yeah, well you're a towel.
MManager
Alright, that's it! Get out of here! You're fired!
[points at customer] Yeah!
MMingey
[After a gun is fired] What the!? Ha ha! You missed me, you stupid buggers! You see that, Gary? They can't even aim!
MMingey
Gary? What's wrong?
MMingey
[horrified] No! Oh no!
They got me bad. Oh, the blood...
MMingey
[crying] Try to hang on, Gary.
It... It's getting dark, Minge.
MMingey
Oh, Gary, what have I got you into?
I'm seeing me life flash before me eyes... Mingey?
Where...where are we, Mingey? Are we in Paris?
MMingey
Yeah...yah, we're in Paris, mate.
Is it as wonderful as I hoped?
MMingey
It...it's beautiful. We finally made it.
Tell me what you see, Mingey.
MMingey
Well, there's the...Eiffel Tower right in front of us. The Louvre right over there, behind you, and fresh baguettes all around.
Ah, I can smell them, Mingey. At least...I got to see Paris before I...
MMingey
Gary? Gary, say something! [Gary has died] YOU KILLED HIM, YOU BASTARDS!! HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT ANY PART IN THIS! [to Oprah] This is all your fault, you stupid cow! You never gave your Gary the time of day, and now he's gone! Life isn't worth living anymore! What's the use?! I'm coming to see you, Gary! [loads the gun] I'M COMING TO SEE YOU!
[Mingey shoots himself]
[Cartman defecates some of the treasure he swallowed in front of everyone]
Dude, did Cartman just crap treasure?
It's mine! It's mine, you hear me?! I got it out of the cave! It belongs to me! Keep your greedy hands away!
[recognises the treasure Cartman defecated] Hey, that looks like the fake treasure from our Smuggler's Den photo room.
That's right, and I... [realises what the tour guide just said] Fake treasure?
Yeah. We put it there in the cave to get your picture with. All and all, I say that treasure is worth about $14.
No. NOOOO!!! [Cartman defecates more of the fake treasure] OWWW! OHHHH!!!
[Stan, Kyle and Kenny walk up to Cartman]
[angrily] You made us pull you to safety because you ate treasure?! You son of a bitch!
DON'T YOU THINK I'M HURTING ENOUGH, KYLE?! ARGH!! ARGH!! [Cartman painfully defecates more fake treasure] OWWWW!!!
