[after hitting Kyle over the head with a skateboard] Cowabunga, motherfucker.
“Cartoon Wars Part II” · Season 10, Episode 4
In this episode: Eric Cartman (5), Bart Simpson (3), Kyle Broflovski (1), Phillip (1), Terrance (1), George W. Bush (1)
I did it! I...am...GOD!
What's the worst thing you've ever done?
I stole the head off a statue once.
Wow, that's pretty hardcore. Jeez. That's like this one time when I didn't like a kid, so I ground his parents up into chili and fed it to him.
[Bart looks shocked]
I'll use this situation to get Family Guy cancelled. I use fear to manipulate people to do my bidding.
Uh, isn't that like terrorism?
Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!
Cartman! You fucking fat ass!
How the hell did you get out?
That kid and I had a long talk. I told him he was on a slippery slope to becoming a monster like you!
Oh, goddamn it! You gave him one of your gay little speeches, didn't you?
Well, Kyle, I guess it was inevitable.
[Cartman and Kyle take their gloves off, stare at each other, and engage in a slap fight]
Ow! Kyle, stop it! No, Kyle, that's too hard!
Look, the fact of the matter is, the Family Guy writing staff is protected by something called the First Amendment.
R1Reporter 1
And what exactly is this First Amendment, Mr. President?
You know...right to free speech.
[Many of the reporters groan loudly and begin yelling]
R2Reporter 2
Mr. President, when your administration came up with this First Amendment, did it not foresee a problem like this might happen?
Well, we didn't come up with the First Amendment. It was already in place.
R3Reporter 3
What do you intend to do about this First Amendment, Mr. President?
R4Reporter 4
Forgive me, Mr. President, but this First Amendment sounds like a lot of bureaucratic jibbery-jroo.
[in a meeting with Terrance and Phillip]
Alright, just what the hell is going on here?!
You censored out the image of Muhammad in our television special!
NPNetwork President
Ey! You guys know the rules! Nobody can show the image of Muhammad anymore! It's dangerous!
But you ruined the whole show!
NPNetwork President
Look, I'm not gonna risk the lives of the people at this network. Let's just forget about it, okay, guys? [farts and laughs. Terrance and Phillip look hard at him, their arms crossed] Aw, come on guys, give me a break.
We demand you rerun Mystery at the Lazy "J" Ranch with Muhammad uncensored!
CPCBC President
Ey, I make the rules, not you guys! And if you ask me, your show has become so preachy and full of morals that you have forgotten how to be funny! No Muhammad!
TTerrence
Hello, Muhammad, we've read all about you in the Qur'an.
MMuhammad
I'm here to investigate a murder.
FPFox President
Take this noble child out to the Family Guy offices. If he can scare them like he has us, maybe we can pull the Muhammah episode after all.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.