[Bart has seen Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel kissing.]
So I looked out the window, and there it was the grossest sight I have ever--
[through speaker] Bart Simpson, report to the principal's office immediately!
[in the principal's office]
Now, Bart... son. I don't know what you think you saw but uh, let me assure you that...
What Seymour- oh, what Principal Skinner means to say, Bart, is that sometimes a little boy's imagination can run away with him!
That's the best you can do? You could have at least said you were giving her CPR or rehearsing a play!
Is it... too late to say that?
[cough] We're just a little concerned. If people were to find out the principal was dating a teacher, they might see it as a conflict of interest.
[chuckles] And there are those who might try to use it against us for their own advantage-
Like you, for... Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it's to know when I'm beaten. Let's talk deal.
[Wendell and his colleagues get food poisoning from the oysters at the Princes' backyard.]
Oh, my tummmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!!!! [collapses on Martin Sr.'s shoes]
Martin Sr.: [to Martha] I told you we should've served cake instead of oysters!
[punches Martin] Ha-haugh... [collapses on the ground]
Wait a minute. Bart's teacher's name is Krabappel? I've been calling her Crandall. Why didn't someone tell me? I've been making an idiot out of myself!
Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
Baby looked at you? Sarah, get me Superintendent Chalmers! [Sarah dials the phone] Thank you, Sarah!
[to Bart, who is keeping her busy whilst Seymour and Edna sneak out] I collect pictures of wedding cakes from different periods. [She opens a book containing photographs of cakes] It all started in 1969 when Good Housekeeping featured a picture of a lovely cake.
You wouldn't happen to have any real cakes around here, would you?
Oh my, no. Don't care for cake, too sweet. [points at a cake] Now, this is called a Lady Baltimore cake. At my age, I don't have that much saliva left, so you'll have to lick my thumb before I turn the page.
Aw, can't I just turn the page for you?
[slaps his hand away, harsher] No! [sweetly] But you can pick out any picture you want to take home with you.
Erm...O.K. I'll take...that one.
[slaps his hand away] NO!
You can't have that one: that's a coconut cake!
Excuse me, Edna, I don't think we're talking about love here! We're talking about s-e-x, in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n!
"Sex Cauldron?" I thought they closed that place down!
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