[Bart's class is having Show and Tell]
Someday, I want to be an F-14 pilot like my hero, Tom. He lent me this new weapon called a neural disrupter.
[Bart demonstrates the sheer power of the neural disrupter by shooting it at Martin's forehead]
[falls down on the ground, twitching]
He's not dead, is he Bart?
Nah, but I wouldn't give him any homework for awhile.
Very good, Bart. Thank you.
Oh, don't thank me. Thank an unprecedented eight-year military build-up.
Mmm. Milhouse, you're next.
[mimics his toy horse neighing weakly which then trails off]
[during Krusty's monologue on Tuesday Night Live]
We got a great show for ya. Well, actually, the last half-hour is a real garbage dump! [sighs] : We'll be right back.
[as the band from Tuesday Night Live plays before going to commercial] :
This just in, a fist-fight is in progress in downtown Springfield. Initial reports indicate, and these are very preliminary, that one of the fighters is a giant lizard. [shot of Godzilla appears in the background.] Do we have a source on this? Uh-huh, a bunch of drunken frat boys. All right, I could use some names. "I.P Freely". Uh... [realizes] Grrr!
[after Bart comes home] Hello, son. Where have you been?
[angrily] No, you haven't! You've been out gallivanting around with that floozy of a bigger brother of yours! Haven't you? Haven't you? Look at me!
Dad, it just kind of happened. You're taking this too hard.
How would you like me to take it? Go ahead, Bart. Have your fun. I'll be waiting for you? I'm sorry. I can't do it!
Well, what are you gonna do?
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
