Wendy has just had Miss Ellen shot into the sun
(cheerfully) Bye bye, Miss Ellen!
Wendy! You didn't!
(sing-songy) I told her~... (Intensely, with crazy eyes) Don't. Fuck. With. Wendy. TESTABURGER!
S1 E11Tom's Rhinoplasty
S1 E12Mecha-Streisand
BSBarbra Streisand
You know who I am?
Well, you aren't Fiona Apple, and if you aren't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass!
BSBarbra Streisand
[screams in anger]
Whoa, what a bitch!
Well, that whole experience sure sucked.
Yeah, I'm sure glad it's over.
But you know, I've learned something today. I've learned that people who want power - a lot of power - always end up dead.
Yeah, and I've learned something too. Robert Smith kicks ass!
S1 E13Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut
CCartman
Mom, can I ask you a question?
Sure, Hun.
CCartman
You know how my friend Stan has, like, a dad?
Uh-huh.
CCartman
And my friend Kyle has a dad and my friend Kenny has a dad?
Yes?
[long pause]
Well, what's your question, Hun?
CCartman
Goddamn it, do I have a dad?!
Oh!
CCartman
I want to know where I came from.
Oh. Hmm. Well, you see, Eric, sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they want to be close to each other.
CCartman
Uh-huh...
And sometimes the man puts his hoo-hoo dilly in the woman's cha-cha.
[long pause]
CCartman
So who put his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha?
Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?
Nope. He's gay.
You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Is it Jimbo?
Daaagh!
Or is it Officer Barbrady?
Huh?! Where?!
Or could it be Ned?
NNed
Could be.
Or Mr. Broflovski?
Dad, how could you?!
Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.
What?! Son of a bitch!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.