Scenes with Ned 8
NNed
Mmmm-this wood won't burn-mm.
Well, Ned, looks like we'll have to use the old Indian fire trick.
NNed
Mmmm-yepper. [pours gasoline onto the burning wood, then catches fire] AAAAAHH!
Huhahaha! Hey, stop, drop, and roll, Ned! Ah ha haha!
[Ned accidentally tips the gas can over, creating a fire trail that leads to Jimbo's van, blowing it up]
God dammit, Ned! I just got that van. How the hell are we s'posed to get home?
NNed
Mmm-oh, it hurts! It hurts! Owwww!
Cartman [roasting a hot dog over Ned's flaming body]: Hey, guys. This works pretty good right nyah.
Come on, Ned, and keep quiet.
NNed
Okay. [They climb over the fence and encounter...]
NNed
What are we doing here?
Well, Ned, we always kidnapped Middle Park's mascot. But this year we're going to booby-trap it instead. [puts bomb on Enrique's back] And when John Stamos's older brother hits that high F in "Loving You", boom! [Enrique gets wide-eyed] No more Middle Park players.
[Enrique starts to tremble. Jimbo and Ned laugh victoriously]
Goddamn, I love football.
Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?
You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Or is it Officer Barbrady?
Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.
Yes, but at what cost, Mr. Garrison? At what cost?
Listen, everybody! We did what we had to in there.
But how will we live with ourselves now?
NNed
One day at a time, Mayor. One day at a time.
[Schubert's 'Ave Maria' plays as the camera zooms back]
Well, I'm bringing home some Eric Roberts in a doggy bag. Does anybody else want some?
[The snake breaks down Jimbo and Ned's cell wall]
Holy crap, what the heck is that?
NNed
It looks like my ex-wife!
Hey Ned, look what I bought you! A new voice box [teases Ned a while] Want it? You want it? Yeah, you want it. Here. Try it out, Ned.
NNed
[in an Irish accent] Ah, Jimbo, I can't thank you enough for the new voice box. [realizes he's got an Irish accent] What the devil is this, then?
Aw, no! I must've picked up the Irish model by mistake.
NNed
[still in an Irish accent] Oh, what a bloody pickle this is. Did ya keep the receipt then?
[whispering] All right, Ned, we got to be careful. These are really evil men we're dealing with here...
NNed
[loudly because of his voice box] Okay...
[whispering angrily] Dammit, Ned, doesn't that thing have a volume control?
Where are you goin', Ned?
NNed
I'm getting my white ass outta here.
[ManBearPig appears behind Ned, getting the latter's attention]
Stan [upon seeing ManBearPig]: What the fuck?!
Jesus Christ! [fires at ManBearPig]
Ned [running from ManBearPig]: Heeeelp meeeeee!
[ManBearPig attacks Ned then carries him away, leaving Jimbo, Stan, and Randy horrified]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
South Park · 1,569 quotes
