Narrator quotes from South Park

South Park: Back to the Cold War. Starring: Butters… Stephen and Linda Stotch… Melancholy the horse… and the comedy of Vladimir Putin.

Trump. His penis is teeny-tiny, but his love for us is large.

Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?

Nope. He's gay.

You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!

Is it Jimbo?

Daaagh!

Or is it Officer Barbrady?

Huh?! Where?!

Or could it be Ned?

Could be.

Or Mr. Broflovski?

Kyle

Dad, how could you?!

Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.

Cartman

What?! Son of a bitch!

Cartman

Wait a minute! [points at his mom/dad] If she's my dad, who's my mom?

Who is Eric Cartman's mother? Is it Ms. Crabtree, Sheila Broflovski, the Mayor?

Cartman

AGH, FORGET IT!

The little critters cheered and Beavery said with a smile

How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while?

The boy in the red poof ball hat smiled and said...

Stan

(does not smile) Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go home.

High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak/The horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak./For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat.

Stan

[irritated] Goddammit, this is fucking ridiculous!

Said the little boy in the red poof ball hat.

And they all lived happily ever after, except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later.

Kyle

[voice over] Goddamn it, Cartman!

Here we go guys! Zipliniiin'! [goes into an open-leg stance, makes a fist with his left hand, holding out the thumb and pinkie]

[a woman, waiting by a van that has been out earlier in the day] Everyone just step on in the shuttle. [opens the van's sliding door. The zipliners head for it]

Stan

...Shuttle?

Kyle

How, how long do we have to take the shuttle?

It's about forty-five minutes.

It's a devastating blow. For Kyle, it's almost too much to bear. [a look at Kyle's brain] His brain is already lacking excitement, and now just the word "shuttle" makes Kyle's brain fire neurons [this is shown] that bring up memories of just how lame shuttles can be. [two images of overloaded shuttle buses appear, then footage of the Space Shuttle Challenger going up and exploding, and Kyle is scared]

Cartman

Well, come on, we don't have a choice. [leads the others to the shuttle van.]

Alright guys, should be about forty five minutes to the freshest nar nar. Why don't we go around the van and get to know each other a little bit?

Stan

Uh that's okay.

Well my name's Pete Nichols and this is my wife Donna, and uh... make a long story short, we came out here to see our relatives who live down in Moab. They uhhh been livin' there about twenty years now, and uh, long story short, they told us that as long as we were in the Rockies we should try ziplining, so, long story short, we looked around in the newspapers and on the Internet and... on billboooards, and... you know, make a long story short, we found this company and thought we'd give 'er a try, so then we called and, we made a reservation, and that's when, you know, long story short, we just thought- [Cartman begins to mutter angrily]