[In Ned's illusion moving to Hollywood, series executive producer James L. Brooks appears]
BBrooks
Ned, I'm James L. Brooks.
BBrooks
James L. Brooks is good. How about some spongecake?
Well, I can't see the harm.
BBrooks
With a brandy glaze?
BBrooks
Or perhaps you like to go to a football game?
BBrooks
We don't have a team.
RRalph
[picks up a red jellyfish] I made a friend. [the jellyfish stings him and he falls into the water and is pulled away by the current] I'm going to Africa! There's lions, and monkeys, and Santa...!
I dream of an America with nudity and F-words on network TV. Where the whole world doesn't stop because a school bus did. Children are the future... today belongs to me!
MCMeeting Crowd
[with their fists raised] YAY!
You can’t change the rules in the middle of the game! We never would've had these kids if we thought we had to pay for them. Promises were made!
Hey, tough tortellini! I am a-sick and a-tired of printing a-children's menu! Let Mickey Meatball find his own way out of the maze! [spits] Apooey!
We're sick and tired of buying overpriced tickets for your lousy school plays!
Then how would we ever get to see Camelot?!
We'll merely watch the movie on tape!
Hmm..., is that better? Well, to me, Ralph Wiggum is Sir Lancelot.
RRalph
[singing] If ever I would leave you, it wouldn't be in summer!
MCMeeting Crowd
BOOOOOOOOOO!
Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's kill every child... FRIENDLY THING IN TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!
MCMeeting Crowd
[As they were dismissed to take actions] YAY!
It's time to put away my childish things... [in a deep voice] ...and become a man!
RRalph
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck-
[Fast forward to hours later, where everyone clearly frustrated and/or asleep]
RRalph
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck,-
Say goose, you stupid freak!
[Ralph runs out of the room crying]
[To Ralph] How'd a pull-up like you get a great card like that?
RRalph
My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.
Ralph, I'll play you for that card.
RRalph
Okay, but if I win, you have to teach me how to play this game.
Magic Club! Join the Magic Club! Want to cut up a banana without peeling it? Join and [in a spooky tone] I'll tell you how! It's with a needle and thread!!
HHarper
I like magic. I'm going to take one of your cards. [takes one of them and performs a magic trick, making the cards multiply] Or did I take 52?
[gasps] Do you want to join in? You could be president! Just man the booth, I need to go to the bathroom.
HHarper
I'd love to join. Honestly, this is the only booth that doesn't creep me out. [looks at Ralph's Hug Club]
RRalph
Hug me! Hug me! [Principal Skinner puts a "Warning, Do not hug" sign on him] Hug me!
HHarper
I'm Harper. Just moved here. Trying to make friends.
Lisa. Always been here. Trying to make friends. [they hug]
Well, I've got news for all of your clubs! It's 3 p.m., so Willie's turnin' on the sprinklers!
[turns the sprinklers on, scaring all the kids]
RRalph
You were sleeping like teacher.
Oh, Ralph. I'm deceiving all the people I love, and it's so exciting.
RRalph
Lies are like stars... they always come out.
Oh, my God, that's really profound.
RRalph
I have five face holes!
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
