Marge Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Work.

Marge

It's 4 o'clock on a Saturday.

I, uh, have to... count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass! It's the law!

S19 Dial 'N' for Nerder

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Bart, get me my suicide axe.

Marge

No suicide axe!

[loud whisper to Bart] Later.

S19 Papa Don't Leech

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Marge

I'm really worried about Lurleen.

Yeah, me too. Since her father re-abandoned her, she cut the word "pop" out of all our foods.

[Shows boxes that read ____ Tarts, Jiffy ___ ___ corn, ___eye's Chicken, ___pycock.]

[Bart pours a box of Rice Krispies, The cereal falls out of a cutout where Pop should be.]

You'd think living in a house of crazy people would be fun. It's actually really depressing.

S19 Papa Don't Leech

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[In Lisa's movie premiere, Bart is laughing while foolishly throwing dishes on the floor]

[turns red in anger] You stupid kid! What if I walked in here barefoot?

You did, Dad.

[Homer realizes he stepped on some broken dishes in his bare feet. He screams in pain and strangles Bart in anger. Marge cleans up the broken dishes with a small broom.]

Lisa

[off-screen] Happy birthday, Mom.

Marge

[groans sadly] Thank you, dear.

S19 Any Given Sundance

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Mona

For Marge, I leave this handbag, made of nature's finest material, hemp.

Marge

[Sniffs the bag] Smells like concerts!

S19 Mona Leaves-a

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Marge

Bail is set at $25,000.

[scoffs] I make that in a year.

S20 Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes

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Lisa

[seeing what her parents are up to] Tracking software? [gasps] You're spying on Bart!

Marge

Honey, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.

MMoe

[Listening to Marge via his own bugging device in the basement] That's right my beautiful, beautiful Midge. [Laughs] Soon, you'll be mine.

F1FBI Agent #1

[observing Moe via spy camera] Keep talking, creepo.

F2FBI Agent #2

Every word buys you a year in the slammer.

S20 Lost Verizon

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Marge

Bart, how did you get a cellphone?

The same way you got me, by accident on a golf course.

S20 Lost Verizon

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Uh, I can explain.

Krusty

Kill the child!

[Marge squats down to face Bart, but her old dress rips, and she groans in anger]

Marge

Bart, I've had it with you! I'm taking away your TV privileges.

You already did that.

Marge

Okay, then video games.

That, too.

Marge

No more non-dice broad games!

What? You can't take my Balderdash!

Marge

I just did! [Bart grunts angrily and goes to the bathroom]

S20 Double, Double, Boy in Trouble

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[Homer, Marge and Lisa are eating noodles except Simon]

Why are these noodles orange?

Marge

I made it with Cheetos, just like you like it. If the sauce is too thick, I can add more root beer.

Maybe I'm just not hungry.

Human garbage can to the rescue! [he eats Simon's noodles, then he talks with mouthful] So at work today, we got a memo saying everyone's getting new chairs.

Father, could you...

[mouthful] Talk louder? You bet! Naturally I threw my old chair in the Dumpster right away! But then Lenny said, "No. That was the new chair. That memo was two months old." So now I'm sitting on an orange crate. I never felt so...

[very angry] Will you stop spitting food on me?

Huh?

Keep your meal in your mouth, you semi-literate spew monkey!