[Bart is at a low end of a see-saw while Mr Burns is at the high end and won't fall]
Why won't you come down?
I told you. I only weigh as much as my clothes and keys.
“Double, Double, Boy in Trouble” · Season 20
In this episode: Bart Simpson (6), Homer Simpson (5), Marge Simpson (2), Simon Woosterfield (2), Mr. Burns (1), Krusty the Clown (1), Chester (1)
[while falling] Aw, come on gravity...You used to be cool.
You just cost me $200,000!
I thought it was 50.
I was gonna bet it on the dogs!
Uh, I can explain.
Kill the child!
[Marge squats down to face Bart, but her old dress rips, and she groans in anger]
Bart, I've had it with you! I'm taking away your TV privileges.
You already did that.
Okay, then video games.
That, too.
No more non-dice broad games!
What? You can't take my Balderdash!
I just did! [Bart grunts angrily and goes to the bathroom]
You look like a dorky version of me!
And you look like a dim-witted version of me!
[angrily strangles Simon, who is impersonating Bart, while the real Bart, impersonating Simon, is in the Woosterfield limousine] You ruined everything!
Driver, laugh at those people for me.
My pleasure, sir. [False laughing]
[holding toy newspaper] For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper that's not afraid to say how great this country is.
[Bart marvels at the things in Simon's bedroom]
Wow, cool poster of Joe Montana.
JMJoe Montana
[steps out of the wall] It's not a poster.
[Bart screams]
JMJoe Montana
I'm the real deal. Every day I stand here the family donates a million dollars to Notre Dame. Did you know the words "Notre Dame" are French, but the team is the Fighting Irish? That's the kind of thing I think about in here.
Back in the poster, gabby.
JMJoe Montana
Yes, sir.
[Homer, Marge and Lisa are eating noodles except Simon]
Why are these noodles orange?
I made it with Cheetos, just like you like it. If the sauce is too thick, I can add more root beer.
Maybe I'm just not hungry.
Human garbage can to the rescue! [he eats Simon's noodles, then he talks with mouthful] So at work today, we got a memo saying everyone's getting new chairs.
Father, could you...
[mouthful] Talk louder? You bet! Naturally I threw my old chair in the Dumpster right away! But then Lenny said, "No. That was the new chair. That memo was two months old." So now I'm sitting on an orange crate. I never felt so...
[very angry] Will you stop spitting food on me?
Huh?
Keep your meal in your mouth, you semi-literate spew monkey!
[angrily] That's it, boy! You're going to bed without supper!
[Simon goes upstairs to Bart's bedroom]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.