“Lost Verizon” · Season 20
In this episode: Bart Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (2), Lisa Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1)
[seeing what her parents are up to] Tracking software? [gasps] You're spying on Bart!
Honey, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Listening to Marge via his own bugging device in the basement] That's right my beautiful, beautiful Midge. [Laughs] Soon, you'll be mine.
[observing Moe via spy camera] Keep talking, creepo.
Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
Bart, how did you get a cellphone?
The same way you got me, by accident on a golf course.
Constipated Gorilla/Denis Leary: "No longer must we live in shame, let the decree go forth, EVERYBODY POOPS!"
[Bart prank calls a Hawaiian bar]
Aloha.
Aloha to you. I'm looking for Maya. Last name Normousbutt.
Hang on. I'll check. Uh, has anyone seen Maya Normousbutt?
[Bar patrons laugh, while the bartender glares at the phone in rage.]
[The scene switches from Hawaii to Australia as Bart calls Crocodile Drunkee's.]
I've got a Drew P. Wiener(droopy wiener) here. Anyone expecting a Drew P. Wiener. I hold in my hand a Drew P. Wiener.
Better put it down then mate.
[He and the other patrons laugh, as the bartender is enraged.]
[Scene switches from Australia to Sweden. The bar's name is Inga Bar Beermans.]
Ja! I shall inquire. Is there a Mr. Myfriendsaregay, first name Olaf. Attention everyone, all of my friends are gay.
[Bar patrons laugh, slowly]
Wait a minute. If I ever get a hold of you, I shall thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavors.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
