Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Lisa

I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!

Homer

But you're also the housekeeper. So it's all good.

Bart

[sobs] Skinner didn't let me go. [sobs]

Homer

Really? Oh. I bet that submarine isn't so fun anyway.

Bart

[sniffs] You think so?

Fire that torpedo, Milhouse!

Aye-aye! [presses a button] Where did it go?

It was just imaginary.

Homer

Wait, you guys saw the new Radioactive Man sequel?

Carl

Uh, it's not a sequel, it's a reboot.

Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a deboot.

Bart

Homer, will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?

Homer

And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

Homer

Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.

Marge

I don't have any diamonds.

Homer

Quit pressuring me!

Homer

[Sighs as he looks at his late wife, Edna Krabappel and wearing a black armband] Sure do miss that laugh.

Ha-ha! I miss her too.

Homer

Whoo hoo! I've got a date with my daughter!

Cletus

Yeah, we've all been there. No need to act like you just invented air conditioning.

Homer

Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it, it wouldn't be there anymore?

Marge

No.

Homer

AAAAHHH!!

Homer

Marge, would you give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?

Marge

We don't have that movie here.

Homer

Eat your broccoli.

Bart

No.

Homer

Eat your broccoli.

Bart

No.

Homer

Eat your broccoli!

Bart

No!

Bart

What's your soda refill policy?

Marge

All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.

Homer

Careful, Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.

Ned

Homer, this is my Freezer-ino!

Homer

Seriously, I am getting so tired of those stupid Flanders-isms!

Ned

It's the name of the freezer.

Homer

Okily-Dokahama?

Ned

Right next to Mount Fuji-I'm glad to see you!

Homer

A camping we will go.

Bart

[singing] But where I still don't know.

Homer

A place that's filled with sun and sand, a desert steamed from Disneyland, keep expectations low.

Homer

What I feel is envy.

Lisa

Wow! He's right.

Bart

What's a game show?

Homer

Something you make sketches about.

Homer

Apu has a rich life here in Springfield: a store full of great products, a lovely him-type wife, and eight super kids: Anoop, Sandeep, Nabendu, Gheet, Pria, Uma, Poonam, Sashi...

Shut your mouth! I want to do it!