Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Switching to male voice, so you will obey.

Homer

Finally, a supervisor!

Bart

Dad, what are you watching?

Homer

I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.

Hibbert

You may never see a film in 3D again. [chuckles]

Homer

But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.

Ned

I want you to punch me in the eye. If you do, then we're even according to Exodus, Leviticus, and Matthew.

Homer

You went and hired a law firm, eh. That's pretty aggressive.

Ned

Homer, I can't believe you're partaking with my parents.

Homer

Yeah, it's medicinal; we had a pain in our neck!

Homer

Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.

Marge

I'm not going to sleep.

Homer

Well, you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

Homer

Boy, why are your friends so dirty?

Bart

Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?

Homer

Touche.

Carl

Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?

Homer

It's not even noon.

Carl

Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.

Bart

You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52.

Homer

They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.

Bart

More like The Expandables.

Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear. And we shall have candy...and maybe some beer.

[his dying words after Maggie stabs him] I'm frightened of nothing/Not even hellfire/Just don't ever let me be played by Mike Myers.

Reverend Lovejoy

So, is there truly anyone among us without regrets?

Agnes

I have no regrets.

Seymour

Really, Mother?

Agnes

Oh, I didn't see you there.

Mr. Burns

Speaking of return on investments, my Apple stock is up 3,500%.

Homer

Aw, you misheard that on purpose!

Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?

Homer

D’oh

Bart

I feel kind of melancholy.

Homer

Hmm...melon-collie.

Homer

I'm sorry, Homer, Jr. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.

Bart

Therapy, please.

Lisa

Me too.