I never thought I'd say this, but go ahead in.
Really? I can go in? Oh my gosh, I never thought this moment would come! I, SpongeBob SquarePants, am tough enough to get into the Salty Spittoon! This is the happiest day of my liiiife! [walks in; scene cuts to an ambulance driving down the street with SpongeBob in bandages and Sandy by his side]Sandy? [groans]What happened?
You ran inside and slipped on an ice cube. [ambulance arrives at the hospital; scene cuts to Sandy wheeling SpongeBob in front of the doctor]
I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos!
DDoctor
Boo-boos, eh? Hmmm...I think you guys want that hospital. [points across the street to another hospital]
Please, Mr. Krabs, you got to help me! When they get here tonight, they're going to see I'm just a big phony and a loser!
Ohh, boo-hoo! Let me play a sad song for you on the world's smallest violin. [rubs his fingers and sad violin music plays]
I know. This really is the world's smallest violin. [tiny violin is shown] See?
Mr. Krabs! Please let me run the restaurant for just one night! I really need to impress Squilliam!
Squilliam? [Squilliam's unibrow appears above Mr. Krabs' head] That guy who made millions doing what you wish you could do?
Why didn't you tell me? We'll take him to the cleaners.
Alright, listen up. Men, Squilliam Fancyson will be here in twenty minutes. Therefore, we need to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy restaurant as soon as possible. [Patrick appears with an army hat] Patrick, what are you doing here?
I thought the core would help me straighten out my life, sir!
The core? What---- Pat, this isn't the...oh! [sighs] Beggars can't be choosers. Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner?
You mean like a weenie? Okay! [talking silly with a goofy expression on his face] May I take your hat, sir? May I take your hat, sir? May I...
[puts his hand over Patrick's mouth] Alright! I've heard enough! You've got the job.
[Inside SpongeBob's thoughts]
BBoss
Just got an order from the boss - dump everything that isn't about fine dining!
[Show the SpongeBobs getting rid of everything]
BBoss
Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?
OOther
You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.
BBoss
One more crack like that, and you're outta here!
OOther
No, please! I have three kids!
SSquilliam
What really won me over was your brilliant waiter. It's as if all he knows is fine dining, and breathing! [to SpongeBob] I must know your name!
[Record scratches as SpongeBob is nervous]
SSquilliam
Yes, your name, son.
SSquilliam
[chuckles] No, your name.
Uh... uh... the fork on the left?
Heh. Stop joking. Tell him your name.
[Zoom inside of SpongeBob's brain again where all the SpongeBobs are trying to search for a name]
SSSmaller SpongeBob #3
[as he checks file cabinets] What's his name?! What's his name?! I've got nothing on a name!
SSSmaller SpongeBob #4
[pressing a key on a keyboard connected to a computer] Come on, baby, what's the name?! [The computer bursts into flames. Panicked shouting is heard from other smaller SpongeBobs as they are running wildly around while papers are flying]
SSSmaller SpongeBob #5
WE THREW OUT HIS NAME!
[More smaller SpongeBobs begin to run around while more papers are flying. SpongeBob's brain then breaks in half. The scene cuts back to Squilliam and Squidward with SpongeBob stammering for a moment. Then he splashes water on Squilliam and then starts to bark and going wild]
Oh, I am so very sorry! I don't know what has gotten into that-- [screams as he notices SpongeBob with a bowl of hot soup by Fred]
More soup for your armpit?! [holds up Fred's arm and throws the soup on his armpits, causing him to scream in pain, runs over to Martha and grabs her head] Please enjoy the food!! [slams her face into her food then runs up to Nat] Would you like some cheese on your butt, sir?! [pulls out a cheese grater, picks him up and grates his butt with it as Nat screams]
[Every fish screams and panics]
[Patrick, still tied up, runs out of the kitchen and shouting. And Mr. Krabs, still tied up, also runs of the kitchen and warns everyone that there's more danger for some things that he cooked so badly.]
Run for your lives, everyone! It's the appetizer!
[The appetizer, which has now come to life, bursts through the door and roars. Mr. Krabs is sent flying. The appetizer crawls outwards, revealing its face to the camera. Everyone screams and panics. They crash through the windows and the door, running away. Squidward's tuxedo rips in half by itself and falls off, and his Krusty Krab hat and name tag land on him in their proper places. The name tag reads "Squidward Tentacles, Cashier."]
[puts his hand over SpongeBob's mouth] Will you quiet up? Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?
Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries.
Okay, so tell me, does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?!
[Mr. Krabs barges out of his office, still screaming. He now has burning red eyes, the pair of tongs snipping in his claw, and the batteries in his pocket, just like the robot in the movie and Squidward said. SpongeBob and Squidward both scream in fear. Mr. Krabs continues screaming as he runs into the bathroom]
I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy!
[runs over to the phone] Hello, Operator? Get me the Navy!
OOperator
Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.
Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!
NOT THE NAVY! [on the microphone] Attention, Krusty Krab! Run for your lives! Robots are taking over the world! [pause] OUR WORLD! [Then the customers run and scream in panic] What do we do now?
I don't know! [notices a nickel] Hey, a nickel! [points at it]
[walks out of the bathroom, his eyes back to normal] Ah, that's better. [walks back to his office] Bee-boo-boo-boo-bee-bop, boo-boo-bop.
We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how?
Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot.
Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information.
I never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop!
[Squidward and SpongeBob dive in. SpongeBob grabs rope, Squidward grabs tools, and SpongeBob grabs records]
Oh, hello, boys. What can I do for ya? [they both lock the door] Hehe, why did you lock the door? Why do you have that rope? WHO'S WATCHING THE CASH REGISTER?! [gets attacked] SpongeBob, Squidward, what’s the meaning of this?! Unite me this instant!
[SpongeBob runs up to Mr. Krabs and then slaps him]
SpongeBob, you gotta ask him a question first.
Oh, yeah. What color is my underwear? [slaps him again]
SpongeBob, let me handle this. [turns a light on Mr. Krabs] Where's Mr. Krabs?
[confused] What are you talking about? I'm Mr. Krabs.
[slaps Mr. Krabs again] We can do this all night if you want. Where's Mr. Krabs?
I am Mr. Krabs! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am!
This is one stubborn robot.
[confused for a moment, he finally blows his lid, yelling so loudly he causes SpongeBob and a nearby lamp to fall from the force] WHAT?! YOU THINK I'M A ROBOT?!
That's the silliest thing I ever heard! I AM MR. KRABS!
Patrick, breakfast is ready.
[sees the whole table of homemade breakfast meals] All right! All this parenting stuff makes me hungry. [lifts the table to gobble up food, then burps] Hey, Junior. How you doing today? [smells the stink] SpongeBob.
Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full.
[drinks a coffee while Junior begins to cry] Wish I could, but I'm gotta get going.
Going? Where are you going?
Going to work. I'm the dad, remember?
You mean I have to do this baby stuff myself?
I'll give you the break when I get home. Don't you stop being adorable. [laughs as he close the door]
[walks in with a lampshade over his head, giggling and turns on the light] Oh boy, that was some party! [SpongeBob is wearing his mother-like clothing and holding Junior and he gives Patrick a bitter look. SpongeBob is quiet and bitter outside, but in the inside, is very furious with Patrick for breaking his promise again] Oh, hey, SpongeBob. Hey, Junior. [SpongeBob now looks at Patrick angrily as he taps one of his bare feet] What? What?!
[relieved and stupidly] Oh, what a relief. [stupidly takes the lampshade off his head and foolishly puts it on SpongeBob] For a second there, I thought you were mad at me.
[angrily takes the lampshade off his head] Do you remember what you said to me this morning?
Something about root beer, right?
[takes a deep breath, flatly] No.
Oh, wait, wait, let me guess. [confusedly gives up] I give up.
Does "you can take the night off, pal" ring a bell?
[scoffs in annoyance] I don't need this. [angrily walks outside]
What?! [angrily walks to the door] Where do you think you're going?
[opens his rock; angrily] I'm going back to work! [gets inside and closes his rock]
Work!? [growls in fury, rips off his foam rollers. He walks outside to Patrick's rock. He furiously opens it up, and finds Patrick in his easy chair, watching TV]
[two "bonk" sounds are heard on the TV; laughs] He got hit in the head with two coconuts!
[angrily] So, this is work?
You know, it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes, I gotta move the antenna, sometimes, I lose the remote, and sometimes my butt itches real bad!
[sarcastically] Oh, you poor, poor thing. By the way, you forgot your briefcase! [pulls a briefcase out from behind his back, and opens it up to reveal that it is filled with sundaes and donuts as he angrily dumps it all over Patrick]
[quietly but fumingly] Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime.
[Becomes enraged; his balls his fists and his entire body shakes. He then loses his temper and goes ballistic on Patrick; his mouth has become huge. He screams intensely with fury] OVERTIME?!?! [jumps into Patrick's rock]
[SpongeBob and Patrick begin to argue intensely and abusively. Junior's chirping intensifies, which makes the two finally stop arguing and listen to it]
There's that stupid noise again!
Oh, that's not a stupid noise. That's just Junior about to jump out of that two-story window.
[Junior is teetering on the edge of the window of SpongeBob's house, ready to fly]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
[immediately realize what was going to happen; their eyes bulge in horror] JUNIOR!!!
Well, Patrick, he doesn't need us anymore.
This is the hardest part of every parent's life, I assume.
Despite all we've been through, it was worth it.
Yeah. Let's have another.
[SpongeBob looks alarmed]
