Back in Texas, we call ice cream "frozen cow juice."
“No Weenies Allowed” · Season 3
In this episode: Abrasive SpongeBob (4), Reg (4), Patrick (2), Sandy (2)
DDrifter
[looks like SpongeBob; has a cool black wig] What's shakin', my man?
Not much. Say, haven't I seen you before?
DDrifter
Doubt it. I'm a drifter, just blew into town. Heard your club was pretty tough, thought I'd check it out.
Nice try, kid. I know it's you.
DDrifter
What're you talking about? [Reg pulls his hair, but it's real hair]
[pulls the drifter's hair, but it's his real hair] Aha!
[enters, wearing a rainbow afro clown wig] Hey, everybody, what's goin' on?
[Reg tries to fix the drifter's hair]
Hey, what about me? I was in that scrap.
Ho ho, I saw you running. when you get in a real fight, then we'll talk.
Well then, I guess it's time to take it up a notch. [spins his legs, then his arms, trying to snap his fingers, but they're cracked in half; cut to SpongeBob showing his broken fingers, he cries and runs off, Scene cuts to SpongeBob with his fingers in a bowl of ice cream in a banana split, whimpering]
RRobot
Care for another sundae, weenie?
[jumps angrily] I am not a weenie!
N1Nerd #1
Relax, you're among friends. [raises his drink]
My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's. [scroll over to Patrick in the seat next to him]
You tell 'em, SpongeBob! [sips his drink]
Patrick, what're you doing here?
I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.
N1Nerd #1
Actually, they moved Double Weenie Wednesday to Friday.
N2Nerd #2
And besides, today's Monday.
Oh, so it's Mega Weenie Monday?
N1Nerd #1
Uhh, that's now on Sunday.
Barnacles!
N2Nerd #2
Super Weenie Hut Jr's has a Mega Weenie Monday.
N1Nerd #1
Uhh, no, you're thinking of Monster Weenie Monday.
Yeah, I feel pretty sorry for the next guy who looks at me funny.
Hmmm... what about that guy? [points at a muscular fish]
[gasps and stammers] I, uh... [laughs] don't be silly. He's not botherin' anybody. I mean, not like... that guy! [points at Patrick]
Who, me?
Yeah, you! Standing there all smiling and whatnot... Somebody oughta teach you some manners!
Okay, but I must warn you: I happen to be a world championship... uh... [reading his hand] "...kick...box...er." [winks and gives a thumbs-up]
I don't care if you're the demon seed of Davey Jones! You're going down, Tubby!
[record scratch, tears up] "Tubby"...? [Growls viciously as SpongeBob is nervous] NOBODY CALLS ME "TUBBY"!!!!! [punches SpongeBob in the face, giving him a black eye]
Wait, Patrick! You're supposed to let me win, remember?
I never thought I'd say this, but go ahead in.
Really? I can go in? Oh my gosh, I never thought this moment would come! I, SpongeBob SquarePants, am tough enough to get into the Salty Spittoon! This is the happiest day of my liiiife! [walks in; scene cuts to an ambulance driving down the street with SpongeBob in bandages and Sandy by his side]Sandy? [groans]What happened?
You ran inside and slipped on an ice cube. [ambulance arrives at the hospital; scene cuts to Sandy wheeling SpongeBob in front of the doctor]
DDoctor
What happened?
I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos!
DDoctor
Boo-boos, eh? Hmmm...I think you guys want that hospital. [points across the street to another hospital]
Weenie Hut General?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.