Let me give you two a warning: this here paint is absolutely permanent! It will never come off! So I see... even one drop... ON ANYTHING BUT WALL...I'LL HAVE YOUR REAR ENDS CUT OFF AND MOUNTED OVER ME FIRE PLACE! So, have fun with the job!
“Wet Painters” · Season 3
In this episode: Abrasive SpongeBob (3), Patrick (3), Mr. Krabs (1), French Narrator (1), Krabs (1)
Okay, Patrick, let's get our brushes ready. [holds up his big brush] Uhh, maybe we should start with a smaller brush. [throws the big brush to the right of him then takes another small brush and gets a hair out of his nose. Patrick does the same, but out comes a large bunch of nose hairs. SpongeBob dips the brush into the can and then faces the wall] All right, Patrick, gotta get started painting this wall. With the permanent paint that we aren't allowed to get on anything but the wall. Well... here we go.
One hour later...
Just a few more seconds of mental preparation and I'll be painting this wall.
Two hours later...
I'm getting to the painting...
Three hours later...
[holds the timecard, breaking the fourth wall] Can you move it along? I'm all out of timecards.
[standing by a washing machine] Did it work?
[comes out from the washing machine with the dollar, still with paint on it, in his hands; he also has a bra on his head] Nope.
[sanding the dollar in Patrick's hand] Did it work? [Patrick's hands are gone]
Nope.
[uses a fire hose to shoot a massive stream of water at Patrick, who screams in pain offscreen] Did it work?
[holds up the dollar that left a hole in his body from the force of the water, except for the part blocked by his arms] Nope.
[The camera pans along various tools that apparently failed at the task. Meanwhile, SpongeBob is beating up the dollar, but Patrick takes the hits] Oof! Oof! Oof! [later shows SpongeBob with a baseball bat and Patrick with a black eye and neck brace, still holding the dollar]
Nothing's working!
Wait, SpongeBob! We're not cavemen! [walks over to a computer] We have technology! [picks up the computer and angrily grunts as he smashes it on the dollar]
It didn't work.
Did you two get paint all over me first dollar?
We're sorry, Mr. Krabs!
[simultaneously] We're so sorry!
[looks at dollar again] And then did you draw on it with crayon?! [dollar has a smiley face and two dollar signs drawn on with green crayon]
[holding green crayon while SpongeBob stares at him] I thought, you know, maybe he'd buy it.
Alright boys, you know what I've gotta do now?!?
You mean our butts?
Can I use mine one last time?
[takes the dollar off the frame, licks it, and sets it back; the paint has washed off] There we go, good as new. [SpongeBob and Patrick stammer "but" nonstop] Yeah, I lied. This paint actually comes off with saliva. [laughs]
Oh, I get it, Mr. Krabs! You told us the paint was permanent, so me and Patrick would be more careful and not get paint on anything!
Nah, I just like to mess with ya! [laughs as SpongeBob and Patrick grimace and leave in disgust; Mr. Krabs ends up spitting while laughing, washing off all the paint on the walls] Aw, crud. I really gotta learn to say it, not spray it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.