TV show quotes
Mayor, this is an outrage! We are being discriminated against as lesbians!
You're a lesbian now?
That's right. A proud lesbian. And our home is being taken away!
The bar has been sold to Persian club owners, I don't know what you want me to do about it.
Forbid the transaction! This is happening all over the country, Mayor.
Children, I have to tell you something that you might find shocking. [sighs] I'm gay.
Again?
I know you're actually a woman.
How...? How did you find that out?
I hired Mexicans to spy on you! They saw you working out at Curves.
You don't understand. Women can't be the boss in Persian culture. Nobody can know about this.
[jumps off his skateboard] Yes! I did it! [tosses his helmet away] I jumped over the homeless! Yes!
Yes!
That was a sweet idea, Kyle.
Goddammit, that wasn't my idea!
Waghh! I don't have any more change! [makes his way through the crowd of bums] Nooo! I don't have any change! I don't have any chaaange! [disappears under the sea of homeless people]
In the meantime, South Park citizens are being advised to stay indoors and protect their change.
[appears behind him in the newsroom] Spare some change?
What the...? You can't be in here.
Ya got any change, sir?
No I don't have any change. How did he get in here?
Chaaaaange?
No, please. I don't have any change. Honest, I don't. I don't have any-- [PLEASE STAND BY screen pops up, station goes off the air]
Don't have any change. Don't have any change. Dammit! All right, you want change? Here. [reaches into his left pocket and tosses some change off to his left] There! There's some change. All right, a little bit. [reaches into his right pocket and tosses some change off to his right] There you go. Take the change. [leaves, but stops himself] Oh wait. Wait, now I don't have any change left for the bus. Hold on. Can I just get back some of that change, please?
Change, sir?
Can I have just a little change for the bus, please? I need a little--anybody have some change? Change? Got any change? [Randy follows Gerald through his binoculars] Change. Change? [Randy lowers his binoculars in horror]
What happened?
[closes his eyes] He's become one of them.
Oh, God. One of them is a war veteran. [more knocking] We're gonna have to give him some change.
They feed on our change. They need it in order to keep them moving.
Is that...is that some spare change?
Somehow they're able to take our change and turn it into nourishment, sustenance.
Spare some of that change, sir?
But now watch. [drops some coins into the bum's cup and walks back to the boys; the bum rattles his cup a bit]
Spare some change?
It has already completely forgotten that I've given it change. It just wants more, change. Look over here. [heads to his left and the boys follow] This one I've kept deprived of change for over three days.
Chaaaaange?
What's it doing?
It's dying.
Cool.
Spare any change, sir?
No! Back off! [slams the door]
Hi. [bum turns around to look at him] I've uh, I've been saving up for a new Xbox game, but but I think you could use the money a lot more than I could. [bum stares] Listen, I...I want you to take this. It's $20. [gives the money to the bum, backs up and smiles]
...Got any more?
[smile disappears] No, that's--I thought that was a lot.
[turns away and takes a few steps away from Kyle] Spare any change?
You're welcome. [turns and walks away while looking at the ground in shock]
[Randy is walking down the sidewalk]
Spare some change?
No, sorry, I don't have any change.
Got any change?
No, sorry. [bum follows him]
Can you spare some change?
[Randy looks over his shoulder at the bum, speechless, continues walking and bumps into a bum in front of him]
Chaaaange?
Agh! I don't have any change! [bums begin to surround him]
Change?
No!
Chaaange?
[Randy runs off]
Spare some change?
Leave me alone, I don't have any change!
All right, God bless you, sir.
Aw, now I feel bad! Here! [runs back and puts some change in the cup] Ahhh! [runs off due to the bums following him]
[following Randy] Chaaaange, chaaaaange!
Spare some change?
I just gave you change!
We're not having Cartman jump over more homeless people.
[angrily] That wasn't my idea!
[horribly burned and missing her lips, holding a shotgun] DENNIS!
Christine!
You son of a bitch! You tried to burn me!
I had to, Christine, you were homeless!
No, I wasn't homeless, you stupid asshole!
I have no idea what you're saying!
Yeah, because you burned my lips off!
I nurned your rip sauce?
No, you burned my lips off!
I have no idea what you're saying!
[Christine shoots Dennis in the chest, prompting a shootout that kills all the Evergreen survivors]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
