MGMilitary General
Mister Scientist! You are paid to think! National security is our job.
S8 E5AWESOM-O
When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard, he likes to dress up as Britney Spears and pretend he's her. He sings and dances with a life size cut-out of Justin Timberlake.
[as AWESOM-O] ...You saw that?
Yeah, and I videotaped him doing it!
[as AWESOM-O] No way.
I got the whole thing on tape; even the making out with Justin Timberlake.
[as AWESOM-O] Nuh-uh...
S8 E6The Jeffersons
[as Stan returns home] Well, there he is. Where have you been all afternoon?
I was over at the new neighbors, the Jeffersons.
Oh, are they nice people?
Yeah, it's just the dad and his son.
Well, we're supposed to have the Broflovskis and the Stotches over for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson too.
Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!
Mr. Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.
JMr. Jefferson
I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
Yeah?
JMr. Jefferson
Yeah.
Yeah?
JMr. Jefferson
Yeah.
Yeah? [they move in for a kiss]
[waking up] Aaaaagghhh! [looks round to see Cartman asleep and facing the ceiling and not Mr. Jefferson]
JMr. Jefferson
[opens his eyes] What's the matter, Stan? You have a bad dream?
Yeah, a really bad dream. [shuts his eyes] Oh, Jesus.
JMr. Jefferson
Wee look, he can fly.
Jesus Christ, dude!
[yelled] Stop, you fucking lunatic! [While Kenny tight his hoodie jacket]
S8 E7Goobacks
NRNews Reporter
Aaron, I'm standing at the Time Portal, which scientists say follows Terminator rules, that is it's one way only and you can't go back. This is in contrast to say, Back to the Future rules, where back and forth is possible, and of course Timerider rules which are just plain silly.
R1Redneck #1
They took our jobs!
R2Redneck #2
Took-'er jerrrbs!
R3Redneck #3
Der'ka der!
Hel-lo, ma'am. We're going around town and offering snow-shoveling service. Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled for eight thousand dollars?
WWoman
Oh well, I certainly could use some little snow-shovelers, but eight thousand dollars seems a little steep. How about ten dollars?
Ooh, ouch, ma'am, please, let go of that tight grip you have on my balls! Ten dollars, you're breaking my balls, ma'am!
WWoman
How much are oranges?
Tree-fiddy. [$3.50]
WWeathers
[reading from a letter] Dear Intolerant Rednecks, we sympathize with you losing your jobs, but we believe your solution of shooting everyone who crosses the border is inhuman.
Glack dadk?
Can you speak in present-day English, please?
Oh. Oh... [with difficulty] Can I help you?
[frustrated by this point] I'm trying to order a double cheeseburger!
[with difficulty] Chic-ken san'wich? [points to the chicken sandwich sign]
NO, NOT A CHICKEN SANDWICH! [Randy and Sharon enter the restaurant as he starts losing his temper] I WANT A GODDAMN CHEESEBURGER AND SOME GODDAMN FRIES, YOU FUCKING GOOBACKS!!!
[sharped] STAN MARSH!
[realizing he's busted] Aw--awwww!
BOBill O'Reilly
On my right is pissed-off white-trash redneck conservative and on my left is aging hippie liberal douche.
Oh my God. THEY TOOK MY JOB!
Dey took yer jahb!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.