iCarly quotes

I know, you see

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Live life, breathe air,

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It's all for real, I'm telling you just how I feel

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So wake up the members of my nation, It's your time to be, There's no chance unless you take one and the time to see the brighter side of every situation, Some things are meant to be so give me your best and leave the rest to me

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Leave it all to me

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[first lines of the series]

[Principal Franklin laughs at the paper he is holding, until Ms. Briggs enters the room. He stops and puts the paper down]

Carly, get in here right now. [snaps her fingers, and Carly Shay enters]

Have a seat. [she does] So... I understand you put some flyers up all over the school.

Yes, I did.

[to Carly; angrily] Why would you photo dock my head onto the body of a rhinoceros?

Well, I--

Rhinoceros? Oh, no, no, no. She made you a hippopotamus.

No, no. She's a rhinoceros. A hippo has fatter thighs and a wider snout.

[screaming gibberish] WHAT DOES IT MATTER? [quietly] I think we should call her father into discuss this.

Um, my dad's stationed in Europe right now.

[to Ms. Briggs] He's in the military.

Well, there must be some adult in charge of her.

My older brother, Spencer.

Oh, yes. The artist.

He's a great artist.

Look, we don't need to call her brother in about this. I'm sure that you can come up with a suitable punishment.

Fine. You know, Carly, I am in charge of the talent show this year.

Yeah, you're holding auditions on Saturday.

No. You are.

Huh?!

I will be enjoying my Saturday while you videotape the auditions for me.

No! I'm going to see Cuddlefish play live at the Hawthorne on Saturday.

[calmly] Not anymore.

AW, COME ON!

[sternly] It's what you get for turning me into a hippopotamus.

Rhinoceros.

[yelling] GET OUT!!!

Right!

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I am over it. I'm in love with you and you just want to be friends, and I'm totally cool living with that constant pain.

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Okay, Jeb. You ready to audition?

JJeb

Yeah. I will be performing a scene from a French play called La Ou Est Ma Femme.

Okay...

We don't know what that means, but knock us out. Rolling?

Uh... rolling.

JJeb

[clears throat; French accent] BUT, BUT, WHERE DID SHE GO?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT WHEN WILL SHE BE BACK?!? I DON'T KNOW!! WELL, WHERE CAN I FIND HER!?! I TELL YA, I DO NOT KNOW!!!

[long pause]

Okay!

Nice job!

[Both applaud as Jeb leaves]

What'd you think?

[French accent] I DON'T KNOW!

[French accent] YOU DON'T KNOW?!?

[French accent] I TELL YOU, I DO NOT KNOW!!

[French accent] BUT YOU MUST KNOW!!!

[French accent] HOW CAN I KNOW WHEN I DO NOT KNOW!!!???

[French accent] I DON'T KNOW!!!!

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See the view count? Only 27 people have clicked on it.

Oh. Okay, good. [looks closely at the view count and notices it reads "27K", which means 27,000, instead of 27; in tranquil fury] Sam?

Yeah?

[shrieking] THAT'S 27,000!!!

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AAAHHHH!! QUIT IT, SAM! LET GO OF MY FOOT! TOO MUCH FRICTION! LET GO! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

WHY'D YOU FILM US AT THE AUDITIONS TODAY?

Oh, 'cause you guys were being funny.

Well, you shouldn't have put us online without our permission!!!

I didn't! I edited you guys out before I uploaded the auditions.

No, you did the opposite of that.

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It says, "At your request, this video will be removed..."

Oh, good.

Finally!

"...tomorrow morning."

Aw, man!

Freddie?!

You know how many more thousands of people could view it by then?!

Alright! Look, before you get all freaked out, SplashFace has message boards.

So?

So, let's see what people are saying about the video. Um... okay, here's one: "Carly, you and your friend Sam crack me up... FUNNY STUFF!"

Ok so one person liked the video.

Wait...! SlackerBoy314 writes: "Carly and Sam, you chicks are HILARIOUS! When's your next show???" And this kid says: "You guys are way better than most of the PUKE here on SplashFace."

Wow... they love us.

Yeah. More than puke.

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[First lines of the very first iCarly show]

Hey there, people of Earth! I'm Carly Shay, and this is our very first webcast of a little show we call iCarly!

She's Carly!