Jerry quotes from iCarly

Jerry

Dan sent me some directions via text message. (his phone rings) Let me clear this message here...I will act better.

Jerry

You got change, for a lead pipe?! [is about to whack on the table but then stops] It's a steel pipe, isn't it?

Jerry

So, if your mom rents a room to T-Bo, then, he's got a place to stay, your mom's got some extra money coming in everymoney bud-

Jerry

Mon.. Moneybud?

Jerry

Come on Marty, let's go look for my money, in my dirty clothes. [giggles]

Jerry

Come on Marty, [walks towards his bedroom] let's go look for my. [walks back again] Son of a-

Jerry

You know as well as I do, that when you're making a TV show, sometimes things just don't happen the way they're supposed to.

That's probably what's in this clip package. See? "Things That Didn't Happen The Way They Were Supposed To." Should I click it?

Jerry

I think you have to.

Jerry

You know what really wastes time on set?

What?

Jerry

Everyone acting all silly, and being goofy, and laughing, and just being unprofessional!

I think you're exaggerating.

Jerry

No...here, let's watch this clip, labeled "Everyone Acting All Silly, And Being Goofy, And Laughing, And Just Being Unprofessional."

(after kicking Jerry to the floor) I'm sorry! (laughs)

Jerry

She kicked me and she started talking to people!

Jerry

It's like-

[laughs so much that he falls off his stool]

Jerry

Sorry. [begins to laugh]

[laughs hysterically with Jerry about what she's just done]

In here Mrs. Benson.

Jerry

[walks in] I'm not your mother! I'm her mother! [points at Jennette]

[giggling] That's right...

Jerry

Mrs Puckett!

[still giggling] ...sorry.

Hey mom. [also giggling]

Jerry

Way to blow it!

Jees! [jumping up and down while giggling]

[to Jerry] Let's explain this to the audience so they can follow along. I used to date a girl named Stephanie, when she was in her prime.

Jerry

[Nods his head with a funny look on his face.]

After I was finished with her, she and Jerry started dating.

Jerry

Yeah, and she's a great girl.

Yes, I have some used snow skis I don't want anymore, perhaps you'd like to have those too?!

Jerry

Hey! Look-

Now, now, let's be friendly. Apple Juice?

Jerry

No.

Jerry

[to the iCarly gang] Hey, you guys doing "The cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl who thinks the co-

That's the one.

But they ch-

Jerry

Shut!

...me. [stops and starts laughing]

Jerry

Her!... hey- [begins to laugh]

I hate you! I hate you so much! [while he is still laughing]

Jerry

Sorry. [still laughing]

Jerry

Let's really try to impress the big cheese on this take!

[on the couch laughing at him]

Jerry

Urghh.

Dan

Uh, you're doing a great job Jerry!

Jerry

[whilst sitting down] I literally can't see anything in these goggles!

[pauses] That seems fair! [begins giggling] Me, I'd do anything- [starts laughing a bit more]

[Turns round to Jerry.]

Sorry. Jerry please stop. [still giggling]

[turns back around and starts laughing]

Jerry

[laughs hysterically in the kitchen]

[to Jerry] I just called you out.

Jerry

[shouts something to Noah from the kitchen]

No you're not! Oh my god, you know what you're doing. [continues laughing]