T-Bo quotes from iCarly

T-Bo

You wanna buy a doughnut? [angrier, to Carly, Sam, and Freddie] I fixed 'em.

T-Bo

You want some bagels?

Spencer

No, I just want smoothies.

T-Bo

Here's your smoothie.

Sam

Thanks. (pays him)

T-Bo

You want some bagels with that? [Winks]

Sam

DON'T START WITH ME!

Freddie

Sam would rather chew broken glass then go out on a date with me for a whole Saturday night, no way she's going through with this!

Carly

You asked Melanie.

Freddie

OOOKAAAYYY. You can pretend I'm going on a date with Melanie, but I know... I've got a date with Sam. [chokes on smoothie and coughs it out]

Carly

What?!

Freddie

I'VE GOT A DATE WITH SAM!

T-Bo

You wanna buy a pickle?

Freddie

NO!

T-Bo

Just buy a bell pepper?

Carly

NO!

T-Bo

$4.50.

Carly

T-BO!

T-Bo

You wanna buy a donut?

Freddie

No, we're having a meeting.

Sam

Why'd you stick the donuts on that way?

T-Bo

What you saying?

Freddie

Well, they're donuts, they have a hole right in the middle.

Sam

But you put the stick through the sides.

T-Bo

Man. This is embarrassing.

Sam

[screams so loud in anxiety due to her losing her temper] “T-BO!” [Her screaming ends up scaring T-Bo]

T-Bo

[drops smoothie; angrily] What?!

Sam

[She then stops screaming] We want a table that's as far away from them as possible! [indicates Carly and Dave]

T-Bo

[still angry] Have I ever cared where you sat?!

Freddie

All friends have fights.

Carly

Yeah, but this one was different. It wasn't even like a fight. I mean, we didn't yell or anything. We just said stuff, and it was bad.

Freddie

Come on, you and Sam have been friends forever.

Carly

I know, but people change.

T-Bo

Mm-hmm. That's what happened with me and my friend Eddie Robinson. He got hit by a bus. Now he's Deaddie Robinson. Talk about change. (holds up a stick of muffins) Try a muffin. (he gives one to Carly)

Carly

...He told us about his dead friend and then gave me a muffin.

Carly

How long did the doctor say you have to wear that cast?

Gibby

6 weeks.

Sam

Well, it's your own fault. You jumped off that pipe for nothin'.

Gibby

You said my cue was Gibby and I heard Gibby.

Sam

Yeah, but you didn't hear the cue!

Freddie

Guys-okay, yes, the cue was Gibby. [the 4 start yelling at each other quickly]

T-Bo

You guys? [they continue yelling] YOU GUYS!

Freddie

[very angry] WHAT, T-BO?!

T-Bo

You guys gotta do something about Spencer, the boy's gone too far.

Carly

What did he do now?

T-Bo

He gave me the fancy face cream from Europe. It says "It make your face all smooth.".

Carly

Yeah?

T-Bo

Well, my face is already smooth. So I gave it to my friend Lucas here. His face has dry patches.

Sam

And?

T-Bo

Kevin, kill the lights! [Kevin turns the lights off as Lucas's face glows in the dark]

Sam

Whoa! [the 4 are shocked]

T-Bo

Turn 'em back on! [Kevin turns the lights back on as Lucas's glow face goes off] Glow in the dark face cream?! What kinda sick man thinks that's funny?!

Carly

[sighs] I'm sorry!

T-Bo

Tell that to Lucas! Now he can't go see a movie! You all better do something about Spencer.

Lucas

Mm-hmm.

Sam

I can't believe you're being so cheap!

Freddie

I can't believe you're being so pushy!

T-bo

I can't believe I still don't have my 36 dollars!

Sam

[turns to Freddie] This is not how boyfriends behave!

Freddie

Uh, yes it is!

Sam

Ok, let's go ask Carly what she thinks!

Freddie

Let's do it! [they both get up and leave the Groovie Smoothie]

T-Bo

Wait, Wait! What about my 36 dollars?

Freddie

Just don't talk about rumps in front of my mom

T-Bo

Why? she don't like rumps?

This might take awhile

T-Bo

Ask as many questions as you like

Freddie

Terrence doesn't mind, as long as he gets to church by 9:30

T-Bo

[Prays]

T-Bo

Someone should notify your wife that she's married to a jerk!

I'm divorced.

T-Bo

Lucky her!

Carly

Sam! Sam!

Sam

Too late! I already put my tongue in the pudding cup. [puts her tongue back into the pudding cup]

Carly

I don't care about the pudding cup.

Freddie

I did!

Carly

We all have to go to Olympia next week for Nora's parole hearing.

Sam

For why?

Carly

For wh-? For to make sure that they keep that crazy girl in prison!

Sam

Maybe they should let her go?

Carly

What?! Why?!

Sam

Look, I've been to prison. It's not fun in there.

Freddie

Yeah, and maybe when Nora trapped us she was like, depressed or something?

Carly

Yeah, well, I was bummed when I didn't get asked to junior prom, but did I lure the cast of 'Full House' into my basement and torture Uncle Jessie!

T-Bo

Man, I'm so dang sick of this!

Carly

What are you doing?

T-Bo

Putting on a suit so I can go home.

Spencer

Dude, you don't have to keep pretending to be Mr. Perfect for Freddie's mom.

Freddie

Yeah, he does!

T-Bo

See!

Freddie

If my mom sees how T-Bo really is, she's never gonna let him stay in our house! [turns to face T-Bo who looks offended] No offence.

T-Bo

Oh I'm not offended. I feel all warm inside knowing that your mom would be disgusted if she knew the real me.

Freddie

It's not that it's... yeah it's that.

T-Bo

Haha. [sarcastically] That's nice, let's all just pretend that T-Bo doesn't have feelings. [walks out of the Shay apartment]

Gibby

Hey Teebs, wanna see what I got?

T-Bo

Not really!

Gibby

Gibbaaaayyy!

Freddie

Hellooooo.

Sam

Gibaloni.

Carly

Where've you been?

Gibby

The mall! With my head up inside something for almost two hours!

Sam

Please say it was a horse.

Gibby

Uh, nope. Haha. But it was inside this really cool machine, that made... this! [gets out a fake version of his own head]

Sam

Oh my god!

Spencer

No!

Carly

Woah!

Gibby

It's an exact replica of my own head!

Sam

What does it do?

Gibby

Blow minds! Look awesome!

Carly

Wasn't it expensive?

Gibby

Oh yeah!

Sam

Where'd you get the money?

Gibby

From that diaper commercial I did.

Carly

Oh yeah.

Gibby

Are your feet in milk?

Spencer

Yep.

Gibby

[moves a milk carton off the coach and sits down next to Spencer] I love that.

Carly

Hey, did you see the email we got about freaky Nora?

Gibby

Yeah, it's nice that they're letting her out.

Carly

What?! K, what is the matter with everyone?! That girl kidnapped us and beat the fudge out of you!

Gibby

Look, I'm forgiving, and I like chinese food. That's who I am. [lifts up his dummy head] That's who we are. [nods both his real and fake head]

Carly

Well sorry, but we're all going to that parole hearing, and we're all gonna tell the judge that Nora needs to be kept in prison.

Gibby

[Sniffs his fake head] Ummm, I love that new head smell.