Mr. Howard quotes from iCarly

View quote →

Mr. Howard

Do I smell burritos?

View quote →

Scenes with Mr. Howard 9

Mr. Howard

Well, tough kumquats.

Tough what?

Mr. Howard

[rips the face guard from Sam hitting him with a football] Ow! Kumquats! Oh!

Kumquats?

View quote →

We're supposed to be doing the iCarly 50th Webshow Spectacular from detention in five hours and Sam's the only one who's gonna be there. Why's it so hard to get detention?! [furiously slams her locker closed]

Mr. Howard

Who slammed that locker?

Me?

Mr. Howard

Detention!

Really?

Mr. Howard

Tonight!

Yay!

Mr. Howard

Yay?

Darn...

View quote →

Mr. Howard

I have ears like a hawk! I distinctly heard laughter! And I hate laughter!

I thought you hated your wife.

Mr. Howard

Her, too! Now keep your mouths shut! [closes the door and leaves]

[as she and Sam look at the camera; sarcastically] Isn't he "charming"?

View quote →

Mr. Howard

[after catching the students; angrily and confused] A video camera?! Turtles?! Burritos?! What is going on here?!

[hesitantly] The iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular? [Sam hesitantly presses 5th button which plays a recording of a cheering crowd; Carly angrily snatches the remote from Sam]

Mr. Howard

[angrily; stupidly thinking he had won] You're all really in trouble now. I am talking suspension! I am talking expulsion! Deportation! [Principal Franklin appears, but Mr. Howard doesn't notice] And you can all start with 500 push-ups! I don't care what Principal Franklin has to say about it.

[sternly] (Oh, really?) You don't?

Mr. Howard

[angrily] No! I-- [sees Principal Franklin; alarmed] Oh! [embarrassed] Oh, dear. Pr-- Principal Franklin.

What are you doing here?

Well, I was at home, watching the iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular. [to Carly and Sam; pleased] Congratulations, by the way. My kids and I love your show.

Wow.

Awesome.

[becomes serious again] While I was watching, I heard Mr. Howard...call me a weak, spineless fool.

(Note: While he did say the first two, he didn’t actually say “fool”; but that could’ve been a bluff)

Mr. Howard

[horrified] No, no, no! I Said...uh, sweet. Stylish. Cool.

[not believing Mr. Howard] (No, you didn't.) In my office.

Mr. Howard

But I--

[sternly] Now.

Mr. Howard

[walks out of detention room; defeated] Why does everything always happen to me?

So, now what?

Well, I suppose Mr. Howard has tortured you all enough. Go home.

Okay, we're just about done.

I'm Sam...

I'm Carly...

And I'm Ted.

Carly And thanks for watching the iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular.

[Sam almost pushes 5th button; politely] May I?

[politely] Second button from the bottom. [Principal Frank pushes said button]

SSingers

♪ It's iCarly's 50th Web-Show Spectacular. ♪

CSCarly and Sam

Bye! Keep visiting iCarly.com. Don't forget it.

And we're clear.

View quote →

Mr. Howard

Wearing a turtleneck is a violation of school rules.

Oh, I can't wear a turtleneck, but he can be shirtless?

Check the handbook. (he gives it to Carly)

View quote →

People care what I think!

Mr. Howard

No, they don't.

Yes, sir...

View quote →

You got that on video?

Mr. Howard

No.

Then I didn't do it.

Why are we in trouble?!

Mr. Howard

Stop asking that!

View quote →

Hi, guys.

Hey, Gibby.

How's it going?

Bad. Mr. Howard just gave me detention.

For what?

For being too "Gibby".

How can you be too "Gibby"?

That's what I said! But, you know, not everybody gets me.

Mr. Howard

Oh, I get you, Gibby. I get you like a rash. The question is how do I get rid of you?

Baby powder?

Mr. Howard

That's double detention.

But baby powder gets rid of rashes!

Mr. Howard

Triple detention!

VOLCANO!!! [vomits in a nearby trash can]

View quote →

Mr. Howard

You wipe that look off your face!

This isn't a look! It's just my face!

Mr. Howard

Well, you should get your money back.

(grabs Freddie by the shoulder) Okay, we've gotta get Principal Franklin his job back!

Shhhhhh! Don't say that--

BMs. Briggs

Carly Shay, to the principal's office!

Coming! (to Freddie) I'm so scared!

(walks up to Gibby and pats him) Freddie's gotcha...