Jean-Philippe quotes from Hell's Kitchen

45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.

The onion rings are good. I like them.

The onion rings are getting positive reviews.

The chicken however...

(As Jean-Philippe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?

Yeah, raw chicken chef.

Oh fucking hell. GENTLEMEN! [slams the plates down] RAW CHICKEN! Matt! [kicks the bins] Pink and bloody! [throws the chicken in the bin] Come here you. Fucking prick!

Yes, chef.

What the fuck are you doing?

Yes, chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.

(interview) Oh, my God. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just fucking nasty.

It's the tartare again with you isn't it?

That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?

No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.

You can manage to fuck up raw food. WAKE UP!

Yes, chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.

What table is that?

Uhm, blue side, chef. They're requested well done, and it's blood all over.

Oh, fucking hell. Ohhh... (to Ben) There you go, there you go! (dumps the plates on Ben's station) Requested well done! Now look at it, then. Schmuck! JERK! (kicks the bins)

(interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just going to keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.

Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your fucking problem! You've had it fucking easy, you're not even busting a gut.

(to the Red Team) Karma really bites you in the ass.

All fucking night you've taken it easy! (Matt snickers) And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more shit out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you deserve it. You've had a hard night.

Are we done? Cause if we're not, I'm going to complete my station tonight, chef.

SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU DICK! (Matt snickers again) STOP IT!

Louross! Raw steak!!

Ohhhhhh.

And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your fucking cooking was as good as your acting, you'd be talented, you dick!

(interview) It started off good and then all of the sudden, it fucking went downhill.

What's the matter?

Twenty-three. They're all medium rare.

Oh fuck me! Ohhhhh. Louross! Come here, you! Let's go and you touch it well. Come on, touch! (touches the raw steak on his hand)

Blue, chef! BLUE!

Yeah, it's raw. How could I get down on my knees. Yeah, it's fucking raw! Hey, look at me! Is that better? It's raw, you fucking idiot!

(interview) Louross is really just dropped the ball to horrific, horrendous, it's just horrible. He just could not handle meat station at all.

Oh, fucking hell! Oh, come on.

(to himself) This is not good at all.

[after Jean-Philippe returned again with filet mignon] Hey, you, you, you, come here! Look at that... look! Three of the have come back! You put your team into shit!

(interview) I hate the word "filet mignon" out, I do seriously. If I ever see another filet mignon, I will like throw it. Oh like, that someone's face.

(to Louross) One more fucking steak returns to the kitchen, I'm closing your kitchen.

With the threat of a shut down looming, Louross tries again on the meat station.

(to Jean-Philippe) What about the lady on [table] 41 with the filet mignon?

They just left, chef.

They just left? (calls out Louross) Hey, come here you! The customer's gone! Customer's fucking GONE. (tears the ticket then throws it to Louross) SHIT!! (kicks the bins)

With just 30 minutes left in the first seating, Jean-Phillippe is looking for Lacey.

Table 23.

23-

The table which you forgot.

I have to go up there and tell them to fire it?

Well, who's gonna...who else gonna do it?

Jean-Phillippe, I've never waited table before!

(gobbles, mimicking Lacey) Can you just go and ask the chef to go? (gobbles)

(to Gordon) I need main courses for 23 fired, please, chef.

Yeah. Hey, madam, were you just taking the order in now? Why is it taking so long?

She forgot the table.

(shakes head and angrily swats Lacey away)

Yeah, "fuck off with me", I know.

It's an hour and 15 minutes into dinner service, and while food its way out of the blue kitchen...

Look what's in my salad.

..not all of it is edible.

What's going on on there?

That's from, uhm, table 20 blue.

Hey, ALL OF YOU! COME HERE! Who dressed the Caesar salad?

I did, chef. [Gordon shows the butt of lettuce to the members] (whispering) Jesus Christ!

Oi, bozo, Are you fucking stupid?

No, chef, I'm not. (interview) J feels like a jackass because of that freaking lettuce. I should have seen it. It's a disgrace. It really is.

Did you see that?

I did not, Chef. If I saw it, I would never put it in there.

(interview) Pretty hard to believe that that butt of lettuce went out there. It's hard to miss that big lettuce chunk if you're just tossing a small salad.

Un-fucking-believable.

Despite J's serving the butt of the lettuce, the blue team has served most of their appetizers.

Where's the Wellington, please?

Two minutes on this ticket and the next, chef. So sorry, chef.

(disappointed) Oh...

It's a little on the rare side.

Scallops are undercooked, gonna have a refire, please.

(disappointed) What is going on? Oh no. Oh. [cuts to Coi accidentally dropping her spaghetti on her station] Fuck off - oh, no. Shit! Look at that! You, guy. (Robert) Come here, you fat fuck. Come here. All of you, come here. COME HERE! Hey, hey, look at me. You are pathetic. NO ONE won! FUCK OFF, both teams, start thinking about two of you to fucking go home. (to Coi) You, PATHETIC! I don't want anymore. (to Ben) I don't-I don't want to wait for your shit anymore, (to Danny) I don't want your shit anymore, (to Seth) I don't want you drying your face, and then fucking cooking with the cloth, YOU SCUMMY FUCKER! GET OUT! [all chefs exited the kitchen except Ben; he approaches him] GET OUT!

Red, [Table] 53. Tanya Steel.

Not done? (returns to the workstation) There you go. Yeah, I've had enough. I've had enough. [slams the plate on the stove] Come here! There you go. (to Carol; gives her a piece of pear) Take a bite and pass it along. (to LA) LA, wake up, yeah?

It's hard as a fucking rock.

Raw pastry, raw pear. That's her! [kicks a bin]

(interview) Chef Ramsay wasn't kidding when he said it was raw. It was raw. That's just, "Sorry. Poor judgement."

(to Colleen) You didn't know that's raw pastry with a raw pear?

No, chef.

(interview) Everybody else was just looking around like, "You've got to be kidding me."

Un-fucking-believable! [goes to the blue kitchen and sits in fetal position]

Tonight, dinner service has totally collapsed.

Oh, Christ almighty! Two and a half hours of bullshit.

And Chef Ramsay is at the end of his rope.

(to Jean-Philippe; after returning to the pass with raw desserts) Oh fuck off. I'm... I've had enough. [goes to the red kitchen] Hey, when I say, I've had enough, I've had enough. Stoves off. [calls both teams] Come here. That was pathetic. (to Andrea) And you were absolutely useless. CLEAR DOWN! I can't take it anymore. It's been the worst performance so far. SWITCH IT FUCKING OFF! [throws his spoon away]

As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...

Off to the spa we go...

...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know he'll be working with someone to plan the party...

This gentleman's very recommended.

Yes.

So, um...

Bonjour, darling!

Oh, here he is now.

...Someone he knows all too well.

JP, hello! It's so good to see you! [hugs J.P.] I'm so thrilled to be back! Are you thrilled to see me?

Alright, well, we'll see you tomorrow night, OK? Great party.

Thank you so much!

Thank you. (to Francisco) You, listen.

(whispers) Yeah?

You are not interfering with my job.

I respect your boundaries.

Yes?

I do.

Leave my thing for me, and then you do your little thing.

"My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.

Good.

Oh, here they [the Red Team] come.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.

I'm so excited to be here! This is so fabulous! [the ladies laugh] Wait until you see what we're making. We are going to go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's going to be so festive!

(interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.

We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...

(laughing) Twinkly!

(interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.

We are going to make this the most beautiful sports arena!

(interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.

Whoo!

(interview, laughs) Wow.

Let's get to it!

Yay!

Pasta undercooked, chef.

Is it?

Yeah, it's really undercooked, chef.

(to Carol) Hey, you, madam. The pasta's raw! Who's running the appetisers?

I am, chef!

Well, then run it, then! Does she [Andrea] wipe your ass?

No, chef. (interview) I get fucking yelled at because this stupid bitch can't fucking cook? What the hell is up with that? (to Ramsay) There's must be some mix-in because it's...

What?! Why aren't you tasting?

I was tasting it, chef.

So you tasted it, and you knew it's raw, and still sent it!

(interview) That stupid bitch doesn't fucking say anything when Chef Ramsay's yelling at me? FUCK THIS SHIT!

Madam, come here you, mouthy little bitch! You [Andrea] come here!

Yes, chef.

(to Jean-Philippe) Hey, give me that table out there! (to Carol and Andrea) And sit on that table and eat that! Both of you, fuck off out there! It's not undercooked, it's raw! RAW, Carol! [gets ticket from Jean-Philippe]

(to Carol) Let's eat it. Let's get this fucking over with.

(to Carol and Andrea) Hey, you're not coming back until it’s clear and you let me know how it tastes!

(interview) I was appalled that I had to stop during service. That pasta was grossly undercooked, and I had to eat that shit! (to Carol) Fucking eat up, girl.

It’s- it’s- I’m eating it. It’s fine.

Oh dear. Excuse me! Oh, dear! Let's go, come down! Hurry up! Taste them. There, there you go, there's a nice big slice for you. Aw, fuck it!

Hard and raw chef.

Fucking hell! [throws the potatoes away] Why are the potatoes crunchy? Who cooked them then?

I did chef. If they go in the oven when the order comes in, they should be fully cooked. (interview) I don't know why they didn't cook. I never cooked potatoes that long before I sliced that thin.

(To Jean-Philippe) Hey, come in here you! Have I got news for you, yeah? Tell him then, tell him! HE'S GOING TO GO AND EXPLAIN TO THE CUSTOMER!!

What's happening?

The potatoes are undercooked. If they go in when the order comes in, they should be fine.

What's undercooked?

Say that again?!

If she [Andrea] fires it when the order comes in, when it's ready to go -

Au-gratin dauphinois need to be cooked before service!

Yes, chef.

Now you're blaming her.

I'm not blaming her chef.

Hey, Andrea, she's trying to sabotage. She can't even tur -

I'm not.

What?

I'm not sabotaging.

(interview) I was embarrassed for Carol. She's pointing out other people's mistakes. Point me out! I dare you!

Here's the next question, how long then til they cook?

Maybe ten minutes.

Oh, look how cool she is! She said "maybe ten minutes"!

(interview) They should've been done. Why didn't they cook?

(to the customers) Maybe ten minutes everybody, for your Au-gratin dauphinois!! (to Carol) Look at them, the poor souls! Are you stupid?!

No, chef. I'm not.

Bullshit! [throws his towel away]

(interview) Those potatoes! I was embarrassed for Carol.

Why didn't they cook to begin with?

Chef, yes, I cooked them in the cream for an hour.

WHAT?!

Yes.

You cooked them in the cream for an hour?

In boiling cream for an hour.

Crunchy gratin dauphinois. Useless.

On order, six covers table 20. Entrées: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one Dory. Wellington's medium, yes?

Yes, chef!

(to Andrea) Right Andrea, what's going? [gets no answer] No answer. I'm not in the best of moods, ah? I don't like being ignored in my own fucking kitchen. What's going?

I have no idea, chef.

Oh, my God almighty.

(interview) On garnish, you've got to be thirty seconds before everybody else. If she's not checking the tickets for us, we're screwed.

Come here you!

Yes chef!

Story of your fucking life, yeah, you have no idea!

Yes chef!

Hey, she's running the section, yet she has no idea of what's going. (to Giovanni) Tell her, chef.

Two wellingtons one medium, one medium-rare and lamb medium? I'm sorry, lamb medium-rare. Two lamb medium-rare.

Oh my God.

Two chicken.

Two chicken and a Dory.

Two wellington, Two chicken and a lamb.

Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one fucking Dory.

Yes, chef!

One wellington's medium, the rest is FUCKING NORRRRRRMAL.

Yes, chef!

Unlike us. (to Andrea) What's going, madam?

I have no idea, chef.

You have no idea.

I have no idea, chef.

Hey, come here you. Hey... fuck off! Hey madam, (points to the front entrance) through the door there! FUCK OFF!

Get that fucking camera out of my face.

Andrea, relax. The only thing he wants from you is to come back. You need to fight back. If you don't, you're finished.

(interview) This is the hardest... most difficult, most up-and-down thing that I've ever, ever done in my entire life! [to Jean-Philippe] It's just been out of fucking control tonight. There's no communication with anybody, and I just haven't recovered.

You want to stay?

Yes, I want to fucking stay! I've been through too much hell right now to fucking leave!

Absolutely. So keep it to Gordon.

(interview) It's just a reminder of how difficult it's been and how much...how much I just want this so bad.

So now you need to be strong. Go back in there, and give it your best shot. Go on, then!

(interview) I put everything I have into this every day, and I just had to go in there and fight for the rest of it.

[to Andrea] Right, what's going?

Two chicken, two lamb, one wellington, one Dory.

Thank you. Back in the kitchen! NOW WAKE UP, ANDREA!

Yes, chef!

Chef, he's going to the wrong table.

Oh, no. VAN, COME HERE!

(to a Red diner) I'm going to get yelled at right now, but I'll be right back. [returns to the pass] (to Gordon) Yes, chef!

That's the Red table. You're running the Blue. Hey Bozo, give me one scampi special on the right table.

Yes, chef.

Thank you! (to Jean-Philippe) Hey, what's the matter between you two?

There's a language barrier there.

What do you mean a language barrier? He's speaking English, you dick!

I know, but he's from Texas. [Gordon rolls his tongue around]

(to Van) Don't run in the restaurant, please?

(interview) Jean-Philippe better stop trying to tell me what to do. I know that.

I'm going to explode. I'm going to explode, my friend! Listen to me!

(interview) WHOA, WHOA! JP! He's about to like pound him down. DAMN!

(to Van and even turns red) Listen! Listen! LISTEN TO ME!

(interview) I cannot believe I'm seeing this.

Listen to me!

(interview) He's going to fucking hit him.

(to Van) We have a problem here!

(interview) Hit him!

(to Jean-Philippe) Don't touch me, bro! You better get out of my face! (JP pushes Van)

OI! Hey, stop! Hey both of you, come here! (referring Van) Bozo, both of you, come here! NOW!

I'm going to fuck you up, bro. (interview) We're going to get it down and it's going to be a first round knockout.

What's is going on?

(referring Van) He's got no respect, Chef.

DON'T SHOUT! [shouting] WE'RE IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMERS NOW!

I'm sorry, Chef.

He's not respecting his dining room, Chef.

(interview) Bitch, shut the fuck up. He thinks he's some kind of boss man around here and he ain't nothing.

(to Van) Calm down, listen to him. (to Jean-Philippe) And you, pay a little bit to respect. [points to Van] And if you do your job, [points to Jean-Philippe] And if you do your job, we'll come together. 'Cause right now, you're turning the whole place upside down, are you going to do it?

(referring Van) If he listens to me.

(to Jean-Philippe) ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?

Yes, I will if he listens to me.

(to Van) ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?

Yes, chef.

Last chance.

[Letting Van out of the pantry first] Ladies first.

One roasted crown chicken.

Yes, chef. I'm ready for it.

[sees that the chicken is burnt] It's burnt, the chicken.

Is it?

It's crispy and burnt. Oh, my God!

Damn.

[calls the Blue team] Hey, come here you! All of you! Both kitchens are down and they're waiting. So we're standing here and we got fuck all going out! Nothing! That's where I draw the line. I'm about to do something I've never done before in Hell's Kitchen!

(interview) It's a desperate time. I don't know what's going to happen. For all I know, we're all going home.

I have no option now! There's one fucking thing that you can do here, it's a fucking shrimp cocktail. Do you know why? Cause it's not cooked! Give me a fucking shrimp cocktail!

Yes, chef.

Give me some shrimp cocktails now. Jean-Philippe! I'm serving shrimp cocktail. At least they're going to get something to eat! Hey you, nothing cooked! Nothing seasoned! Crushed ice in a glass with ketchup!

(interview) When Chef Ramsay says "You know what, stop cooking and just send out cold stuff!" That's embarrassing.

Let's go. Shrimp cocktail. Let's go.

With no cooking required...

GO! GO! GO!

...both kitchens...

Five more right here.

...manage to get shrimp cocktail to the dining room.

With the compliments of Chef Ramsay.

A shrimp kind of night. Isn't it?

Hey ladies, come here. Hey, come here! Come here!

(interview) Everybody's like freaking out! Like Chef Ramsay's going to walk over with a fricking machine gun and like [imitates a machine gun] blow us all away!

The entire fucking dining room has shrimp cocktail. That's a first for me. You just turned my restaurant into a shrimp stand. And what's the point of going on? Shut it down.