“Episode Seven” quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Now, listen up. There's been some great rivalries out there. Yankees versus Red Sox.

Go Yankees!

Tyson versus Holyfield, yes? Now, ladies and gentlemen, Matt versus Ben! Let's go.

Ben! Quickly, here. [Ben slowly comes to the pass] Look at him, speedy, quickly, yeah? Just touch that, you can see how pink it is already. Fucking hell. I just want you to know what you're doing! None of you are communicating, no-one's going together, no-one's making eye contact, and no-one's reminding each other as a team!

Chef, I'm not used to the brigade system. It takes a little time to get adapted to it, and... that's it.

Hey, do you know what? You are so fucking sad. Every time I ask you something, you give me the limpest excuse, you know that.

I'm just being honest with you.

Yeah, I know that. I'm being fucking honest with you!

(to Jen) I love it. He's getting his ass kicked tonight.

You're one of the most fucking saddest I've ever met in a fucking kitchen. "It takes a little time. I can't get used to this." Sounds like the fucking weirdo on Dr Phil!

Come on man! What’s the matter?

I’m about to snap with you!

Oh, fucking hell, what is she doing? Put the pan down! Put it down! Put the pan down! Just fucking let go. Look, this-this is where you are. Just-just stop, this is where you are. Touch that. [Jen walks away] Hey, hey, just come here! Fucking come here! All of you. That's you as well, stroppy face. I don't know what it is with you, but you've given up and it fucking shows! Just the way you mope, the way you turn, and the fucking chips on your shoulder. I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

(interview) Well, what the fuck? You don't want me say nothing so I'm not going to say shit! Now, that I'm not saying nothing, you're pissed off because I'm not saying nothing. I just can't win for losing!

Touch that!

It's shit.

Yeah, it's shit. [throws the langoustine at Matt] Fucking right, it's shit! (to Matt) Did it hurt?

No, chef.

Fucking sue me! Hey, look at me, hey. Because the response is fucking shocking. No-one gives a damn! Now I've got raw, stone-cold, fucking langoustine! Raw, stone-cold LANGOUSTINE!

Yes, chef. I’m going to fix it right now.

One minute. One minute. You got too much oil.

Hey! Calm chef! Take your fucking garnish back!

How long for those two wellingtons?

I have that wellington, chef.

Come here, you. What is going on? You've got one. Which one have you got?

I've got both of the wellingtons.

Listen to me. Which one is ready?

There is nothing ready on that ticket yet.

I'm aware you've GOT them! I need to tell the customers how fucking long.

Give me six minutes, please, chef.

For a well-done wellington?

Yes, chef. (interview) Back at home, I ran kitchens for years and, you know, no problem. It's just that he comes over there and gets so fucking riled up, and then he gets you all fluster-fucked, and you don't know what you're doing! (to Petrozza) Petrozza, where's the mise-en-place for the lamb? Because I'm going to be three short.

What?

I'll wrap you some lamb, just as soon as I-

(to Ben) Hey, come here you! SAY THAT AGAIN?! What time did that ticket come on?

6:30.

And what time is it now?

[looks at the wall clock] 8 o'clock.

You're joking are you? We ran out of lamb? They've fired the fucking entrées, and you're telling me now?

I got it, chef. I'll take care of it.

Ohhh, fucking hell...

Damn, Jen. And I was the problem over there? (interview) Ben wanted to use me as a scapegoat and put me out there. Said that I'm the weakest, and I hide behind everyone. The scapegoat's there, and you got no-one to blame. You can't cook, buddy!

(to Ben) Can you fucking wake up? I'm coming to the end of it, now!

[to Rosann] How long for that salmon?

I need five minutes, Chef.

[to Jen] Have you got the garnish for the salmon?

[with her back turned to Gordon] No, I didn't hear that either.

Hey, you! Don't look at me when you talk to me!

I just said, "No!" I was putting my food in here, Chef.

Hey, Jen, look at me. You're one fucking cocky lady, for someone who knows jack-shit, you know that?

Yes, Chef.

You're so far up your own arse you don't know how fucking cocky you are.

(interview) He said I was cocky, but it's like, "What the fuck?" I-I act humble every time I see him so how the fuck am I cocky?

(to Jen and Rosann) That's there beef sliced, sourced, ready garnish there, salmon not ready. It's the story all the night you can't even get two fucking dishes together. That's how shit you've (Rosann and Jen) been. Yeah fuck, fuck off! Start the whole- (slams all the table's entrées onto Jen's station) FUCKING TABLE AGAIN! I've had enough. Okay? Not good enough for me. I've had ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

(interview) I-I can't please that man and for him to turn and throw a fucking full ass tray of food on my station like I'm some kind of dog. Don't nobody disrespect me like that! I'm getting tired of this shit right know, I really am!

[to Jen] I've had enough. I can't tell you anything anymore, I can't even give you any directions, do you know why? You're undirectable, because it's like [mocks Jen] muh. Oh, really? [to Rosann] And you!

Yes, Chef?

Yeah?

(interview) I don't know if I even deserve to stay because after tonight's performance, I know I let the chef down and I let myself down and I let my daughter down and that's what's hurting me the most right know. [tries to hold back tears and puts her hand over her face]

[throws his pencil across the Red kitchen] Fuck it... pathetic bunch of fucking women... [leaves the Red kitchen]

What table is that?

Uhm, blue side, chef. They're requested well done, and it's blood all over.

Oh, fucking hell. Ohhh... (to Ben) There you go, there you go! (dumps the plates on Ben's station) Requested well done! Now look at it, then. Schmuck! JERK! (kicks the bins)

(interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just going to keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.

Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your fucking problem! You've had it fucking easy, you're not even busting a gut.

(to the Red Team) Karma really bites you in the ass.

All fucking night you've taken it easy! (Matt snickers) And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more shit out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you deserve it. You've had a hard night.

Are we done? Cause if we're not, I'm going to complete my station tonight, chef.

SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU DICK! (Matt snickers again) STOP IT!

I'm gonna nominate myself, chef (Gordon and Matt give surprised looks) I can't pick any of these guys. They worked too hard and we came in today and worked our asses off, you know I tried to get the job the done. I just, I wasn't a star in that spot today.

Your level of maturity stands out. You're the most gracious man on that team.

Thank you, chef.

Petrozza.

Yes, chef.

You're a gentleman.

Thanks, chef, that means a lot coming from you.