“Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?” · Season 11
In this episode: Homer Simpson (6), Bart Simpson (3), Lisa Simpson (2), Nelson Muntz (2), Marge Simpson (1), Milhouse Van Houten (1), Maggie Simpson (1), Luigi (1)
Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Nelson, and Homer in the car on the way to the Springfield Shopper
Hey, I know how we can have some fun. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with "D."
Dingus! [Nelson punches Milhouse on the head]
God bless you, Nelson Muntz.
Eh, I'm no hero. I just like to hit people on the head.
Well, here we are, kids, the zoo.
Well, that's great dad, except you were supposed to take us to the newspaper.
D'oh! [echoes throughout the zoo causing the animals to run riot]
[All arrive at the Springfield Shopper and Homer is holding a balloon that says "Zoo"]
...And to protect Mother Earth, each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper.
And what percent is that?
Zero.
[Lisa frowns]
Zero’s a percent.
I smell cake! Cake that says [sniff sniff] "Farewell" and [sniff sniff] "Best Wishes"!
Your old man has an awesome nose.
Oh, that's nothing. He can hear pudding.
Look Marge, they're paying me to eat!
Yeah, now if we can get someone to pay you for scratching your butt, we'd be on Easy Street!
[turns red in anger] Why, you little- [angrily strangles Bart]
[Homer and Lisa are dining at a rotating restaurant]
The food is exquisite.
And the view is... [the restaurant rotates to show a water fountain] beautiful... [the restaurant rotates to show a church] inspirational....[the restaurant rotates to Patty and Selma's apartment, where the two are in sports bras and sweatpants, exercising in front of the TV] nauseating...[groans and passes out]
[to Homer] Everything's a rave. "Nine thumbs up", what the hell is that?
The food at the Gilded Truffle really ... What's a good word?
[sucks on pacifier]
Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really ... Come on, help me out here!
Ruff!
Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Chewy?
Chewy! That's inspired!
Homer is out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head on the bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review! True Story.
Argh, well I've had it with Homer. His bad reviews are sinking our businesses.
Then, why did you put yours in the window?
Argh, it's covered up the 'D' from the health inspector.
Well, I say we ban Homer from our restaurants.
No, that would be impolite. I say we kill him!
Hold on a minute. Are we changing to murderers.
Does that answer your question?
We'll kill him at the taste of Springfield Festival. We'll make him eat until he can eat no more. Then, he can have just dessert.
This will be Homer Simpson's last lagniappe.
Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change!
This éclair is over one million calories. Twenty-five pounds of butter per square inch. Covered with chocolate so dark that light cannot escape its surface. [The chefs reach for the picture] No, no, no! This is just a picture. But Homer Simpson will find the real thing both delicious and deadly.
Ah, yes, Death by Chocolate.
...and poison, I'll stick in some poison. [Restaurant Owners Laughing Evilly]
Only your father can take up a part-time job in a small town newspaper and end up the target of international assassins.
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