Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say mama?
Can you say get bent?
Bart!
Mr. Rogers says all the time.
He does not.
Maggie, can you say daddy? Daddy.
Kitty. Kitty.
Be-bop. Be-bop.
Shove it. Shove it.
“Lisa's First Word” · Season 4
In this episode: Homer Simpson (8), Bart Simpson (5), Marge Simpson (5), Lisa Simpson (2), Krusty the Clown (2), Maggie Simpson (1), Aide (1)
Homer!
[laughs, picks up Bart] Homer is what grown-ups call me. Call me Daddy.
Homer.
Daddy.
Homer.
Daddy.
Da-- Da-- Da--.
Yes.
Domer. [chuckles]
[turns red in anger] Why you little... [angrily strangles Bart]
Hey, Homer, this house sucks!
Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me daddy!
Homer, nah!
[Homer angrily strangles Bart]
[Krusty has just announced Krusty Burger's Olympic sweepstakes]
Put a sock in it, preppy! How much are these free burgers gonna cost me?
CCompany Agent
Not to worry, Mr. K, we've rigged the cards; they're all in events that Communists never lose.
[satisfied] I like, I like!
AAide
This just came in over the wires, Big K! [hands him a paper sheet]
[reading] "Soviet boycott, U.S. unopposed in most events". How does this affect our giveaway?
CCompany Agent
Let's see. [punches numbers into a calculator] You personally stand to lose 44 million dollars.
[Krusty sobs]
TATV Announcer
Welcome back to this, the final day of the 23rd Olympiad, brought to you by Krusty Burger.
[furious] YOU PEOPLE ARE PIGS! [sobs] I personally am gonna spit in every 50th burger!
[surrounded by piles of free Krusty Burgers] I like those odds.
[Homer is in the hospital the day Lisa is born. Lisa is in her bassinet while Homer talks to her and Marge reads "Fretful Mother" magazine]
Little Lisa. I've already started you a college fund at Lincoln Savings and Loan.
According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her.
Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy, yellow butt.
[Homer and Marge are discussing moving out]
I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place.
No, we won't. I got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib, and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Won't that warp him?
My cousin Frank did it.
You don't have a cousin Frank.
He became Francine in '76, then he joined that cult. I think his name is "Mother Shabubu" now.
I wanna hold the baby. I wanna hold the baby.
I'm sorry, Bart. You're too little.
Here, Bart, you can hold my beer. [he places his can of beer on Bart's head]
Homer!
What?
I was sitting there!
I don't see your name on it!
It's right there!
Bart, don't write on the rug.
Ha-ha. Mom yelled at you.
Did not.
Did too.
You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. [he puts Maggie to bed] I hope you never say a word. [switches the light off, closes the door]
[pulls her pacifier out of her mouth] Daddy. [puts her pacifier back on her mouth and goes to sleep as the episode ends]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.