So, you think you know better than this family, huh? Well, as long as you're in my house, you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! (it turns out that he is talking to Bart) So butter your bacon!
BartYes, Father.
(walking in) Mom, Dad, my spirital quest is over!
Hold that thought... (to Bart) Bacon up that sausage, boy!
Bart
But, Dad, my heart hurts! (Homer glares at him, Bart reluctantly wraps a slice of bacon around his sausage and eats it)
What? That's it, no more chat rooms for you!
Let's see what you've got, son. [takes Bart's strip to read] My Spidey-Sense is tingling!
Bart
It's that good?
Oh, did I say "Spidey"? I meant "Stinky"! 'Nuff said.
Bart
[dejected] What did I do wrong?
Oh, I don't know; try everything!
Now hold on, Comic Book Guy. This boy is still finding his voice!
Bart
So you're saying I should keep trying?
Absolutely! If you fail, you can always open a comic book store!
Stan Lee insulted me! But in Bizarro World, that means he likes me!
[At night, Homer and Bart celebrate their victory at the capture of the perpetrator at Bart's room]
Bart
Dad, I'm really glad you're still alive.
Yeah, it's every parent's dream to outlive their children. Goodnight, son. [he closes the door, unaware that Bob is hiding on the other side of the door]
[jumps down] Hello, Bart. [Bart screams, but Bob quickly covers the boy's mouth with duct tape. He tries reaching for the shock remote, only to find that it is missing.] Looking for this? [He shows Bart the remote he had stolen before tossing it out the window and taking the knife out of his pocket.] Now I'm going to take some advice that was given to me by Lenny, and kill you without doing. [He raises the knife to strike, but looks at Bart's pleading eyes before stopping.] One thrust, and the deed is done. [He raises the knife again, but pauses again at the look of the boy's pleading face before lowering the knife again.] I... I can't do it.
Bart
[muffled] Huh? Why not?
Well, I guess I've—dear God—grown accustomed to your face! [starts singing "The Very Reason That I Live"]
I've... grown accustomed to his face,
And dreams of gouging out his eyes.
I've grown accustomed to my hate,
My plans to lacerate,
To disembowel,
To hear him howl.
[As he sings, Bart tries getting out of bed through the covers, but Bob grabs him and pins him to the wall atop the bedstand with the knife by his nightgown.]
The very reason that I live
Is plotting how to watch him die.
[bangs on the wall from the other room] Bart! Turn down that original cast recording and go to sleep! [The banging loosens the knife from the wall, and Bart falls down to the floor and tries escaping while sneaking behind Bob.]
[continues] I know this chubby scalliwag
Has made my life a living hell.
[He grabs one of Bart's legs as he sings and dangles the boy upside-down while pulling him close to his face.]
Surely, if I drank his blood,
I'd be at peace... but, well...
Bart
[removes the tape from his mouth and sings] You've grown accustomed to my face?
Bart
Sorry. [puts the tape back on his mouth]
I've grown accustomed to your fear,
Accustomed to revenge,
Accustomed to... your face.
[As he finishes, he carries Bart and sets him back to his bed, then leaps up at the edge of the bed before finishing and jumping out the window, landing on the ground as Bart quickly shuts the window.] We shall meet again, old friend. But now, I must steal away into the night. [gets shocked by the remote's button that is repeatedly pressed by the birds on its nest, showrunner credits appears. Starting the credits. After the credits, Gracie Films logo appears and 20th Century Fox Television appears at the end of the episode]
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
