[The scene switches to the Krusty Krab and it has a sign that reads “out of business” because it went bankrupt. Inside the restaurant, repo men are seen hauling away the fancy furniture. We then see Mr. Krabs crying in his office]
I'm ruined! Busted! [phone then rings and Mr. Krabs answers it] Hello?
[on phone] Daddy, the house is full of burglars.
[laughs] No, those aren't burglars, Pearl. Those are just friendly repo men. [Mr. Krabs hangs up and notices Squidward being held on to by his arms by two other repo men]
Mr. Krabs, tell these guys to let go of me!
Uh, well, you know, until I come up with the money I owe, I'm afraid you'll be staying with these nice gents.
No! Bartered is more like it. They keep you, I keep my kneecaps.
MWMan who's holding Squidward
Come on, mac! [takes him away]
You're pathetic! [Le Schnook then walks in]
Oh, Mr. Le Schnook... I lost everything! I'm bankrupt! You and your fancy eats are all I got left now.
LSLe Schnook
Not quite. My time in the chef's exchange program has expired. So my "eats" and I are leaving. [hands Mr. Krabs a bill] This is for you.
LSLe Schnook
It is the bill for my services.
[Mr. Krabs unfolds the bill. His eyes become bloodshot, and he is unable to move as Le Schnook leaves]
RMRepo Man
One side, please.
[The repo men take Mr. Krabs’ desk and chair away while he is sitting in it, a repo man brings Mr. Krabs back into the restaurant lobby. He is set down on the floor. Mr. Krabs starts crying]
Oh, I've been such a fool! I turned away SpongeBob, the best fry cook I ever had, and it cost me everything!
Oh, I can still hear his sweet little voice.
[offscreen, high pitched] Mr. Kra-a-abs?!
Darn his cursed mocking voice! I... [notices SpongeBob] SpongeBob?
SpongeBob, me boy. [hugs SpongeBob] You came back! [notices the customers on SpongeBob's leg] And you brought customers!
See these ice cube trays? [points to barrel] I want ya to put 'em in that bucket.
Uh... I have to be very gentle. [Patrick does the exact opposite; he closes the doors, picks up the freezer and throws it on the bucket, causing it and the freezer to break into pieces]
What the...? What are ya doin'?!
[stacking ice cubes on remains of barrel] Almost done, Mr. Krabs. [stacks on last ice cube, causing pile to collapse]
You've destroyed me refrigerator. [picks up melting ice cubes] You've destroyed many of the things I love. [grabs Patrick by the arm] I got another job that even a nimrod like you couldn't mess up.
[SpongeBob's parents watching TV]
SMrs. SquarePants
Oh, darling, it's so nice to spend quality time with you; what with you in the office all hours of the day. [Mr. SquarePants snorts. BlackJack busts down the door and laughs, scaring Mr. SquarePants and Mrs. SquarePants as they scream]
BBlackJack
I got a new outfit for ya! [laughs. Both parents are whimpering]
That fiend! Where did he take them? I must find more evidence. What's this? Another note. [reads note] SpongeBob, I paid your parents a visit. Now, I'm going to do the same with Gramma! You better hurry, little man-boy. BlackJack. [end of note] He's going to get Grandma, too! I have to stop him! [cut to Grandma's house] Grandma, where are you? Are you okay? Grandma? You in here? Grandma? [sees a gingerbread man on a plate] Oh, no, I'm too late! He burnt you to a crisp! Oh, that animal! [cries]
Grandma? Are you talking to me from beyond the beyond?
GGrandma
Well, if you mean from beyond the kitchen table, yes. You're just in time. I've baked a fresh batch of gingerbread men.
GGrandma
Oh, BlackJack just called and left a message for you. He couldn't make it because he's got some loose ends to tie up.
Loose ends. My parents! He's tied them up?!
GGrandma
And if you don't hurry, you'll miss out on all the fun. [SpongeBob imagines his parents being hung over a boiler by BlackJack. He screams as his head bends and an identical head pops up from his mouth] And when it's all done, he'll need help cleaning up the mess.
Cleaning up the mess? [his face deflates] I got to get help! I'll go to Uncle Captain Blue's! He'll know what to do.
KKids
[chanting] We want Mermaid Man! We want Barnacle Boy! [kids throw Squidward into the window, which solidly flattens and Squidward slides away. The kids chant some more while throwing stuff around] We want Mermaid Man! We want Barnacle Boy! We want Mermaid Man!
Uh, hey, kids? [The kids stop chanting] Uh, well, there's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... in the ballroom. [all the kids run inside the ballroom and Mr. Krabs closes the door behind them to keep them inside] SpongeBob!
Go get those AWOL do-gooders you talked me into hirin', and bring their patoots back here on the double!
Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs. [He runs off-screen]
[Grabs a broom] Back, you! Back! [the broom he was using to keep the kids back is eaten. The scene changes to Shady Shoals Rest Home where all of the fish are either running away or hiding in fear of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's destruction of the place. SpongeBob enters the building]
CCCamp Counselor
[to Prisoner 6] Oh, that is very good, Bruiser!
[We see others complaining and crying. SpongeBob and Patrick are making crafts and sigh contentedly.]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Patrick?/SpongeBob?
I...I like the other island better!
[Both start crying uncontrollably; episode ends]
[sighs] I don't understand, Squidward. Where are all the customers? I know the Krusty Krab isn't Bikini Bottom's most prestigious eatery, but at least it's better than that salty old Chum Bucket across the street and that's our only competition.
Am I getting paid extra for this conversation?
Oh, come on, Squidward. Can't you just pretend to listen for once in your life? Do it for old Mr. Krabs.
Those nincompoops are better salesman than I suspected.
[The alarm goes off]
Hello, little boy. Would you like a chum burger?
BBoy
Uh, does it come in raspberry?
Ah, come on, kid! You asked me that already! Now quit wasting my time!
MMable
Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?
I'm Plankton, you old hag! And your son smells like boogers!
TDTruck Driver
Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way! What do you think this is?!
I think it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty! That's what it is!
Hey, you can't talk to my grandson like that! Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital!
Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma!
...You're probably right.
You people are crazy. I'm getting out of here!
[the monster's belly is still rumbling] Anything else before we shove off?
SMSea Monster
I want dessert! [Plankton parachutes down]
[lands from his parachute] Don't give another penny to those fast-food phonies. That's right, they stole my idea. My, my, my... [the end of the periscope breaks off, he falls down and screams as he rolls into some wet mud, hits a rock and lands next to the Sea Mosnter's foot]
SMSea Monster
[looks at Plankton] Hey, a chocolate éclair. [to audience] Now that looks like dessert to me.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You got it all wrong, see... Hey! [the Sea Monster chases Plankton through the abyss]
The gloves are off now. [takes his hand off to show a human hand] It's booger time!
Oh, booger, schmooger, you don't even have a nose. [pokes his nose]
Oh, yeah? [clenches his face, and forms a nose. SpongeBob gasps, and Patrick picks his nose]
[screams] Booger! [continues screaming while running to the front door of the Krusty Krab, with Patrick behind him] Run! Run, Mr. Krabs! Patrick is digging for gold! [they run into the kitchen]
Gold? [giggles; runs into the kitchen to find the gold, but comes out with nothing]
[to Mr. Krabs] Did you get any of Patrick's "gold"?
He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for!
[to the audience] Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where it's almost if the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.
[in the kitchen]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Squidward had a Krabby Patty...
[at the cash register, Squidward is trying to take a customer's order, but Patrick and SpongeBob are still singing]
Excuse me for just a second. [he pokes his head through the order window to talk to SpongeBob and Patrick] Do you mind? I'm trying to work at a fast food restaurant. You might wanna try it some time!
I sure would, Squidward. That sounds----
Hey, wait a minute! SpongeBob, you already do work at a fast food restaurant.
[it looks like SpongeBob forgot that he already works at a restaurant, which is very unusual, considering he has worked at it since "Help Wanted"]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Yay!
Remind me to fire my therapist.
You're back! Oh, Squidward...I love you no matter how many times we smash your face.
Almost wish that meant something.
[Crowd leaves after seeing Squidward not handsome anymore]
Hey, where you going?! Don't leave me! Please, I'm beggin' ya! Look. I can make him handsome again. Watch! [slams the door on Squidward's face repeatedly] See? [slam!] He's getting handsome. It just takes a little- [slam!] -Effort, just a little- [slam!] -Elbow grease. Please! Come back!
