[Mr. Krabs turns on Karen's monitor. Then Karen's screen shows Loading]
She's loading up. Now let's see how this dial up thingy works. [places the telephone receiver on top of Karen and her screen shows an hourglass turning.] This thing does text mails right?
[Karen's screen shows the words Karen Classic with her picture on it]
Oh, that sounds promising.
[Karen starts crying on her screen and scaring Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob]
Are computers supposed to emote!? No need to cry, little lady.
Don't tell me not to cry! [continues crying and scaring Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob again.]
Must be the dial-up thingy!
You're right, must be interfering with her circuitry! [grabs the telephone and throws it against the wall destroying it in the process]
Oh, it's not the dial-up thingy. It's Plankton, he dumped me for a newer piece of hardware. [continues crying]
Help me out here, buddy. [pushes SpongeBob next to Karen]
Hey, there. Dry those computer tears. I'm sure you two will get back together. Plankton just need some time to realize how much he needs you. I mean, you guys were made for each other. Well, you were made more for him and more specifically by him, and now, he's built someone with more modern features who's better in every way. There's no- what was my point again?
[sobs] You men are all alike! [hops off Mr. Krabs' desk and onto her mobile body. She hops out of the box and then rolls out of the office.]
Wait! Where ya goin’? Smooth, SpongeBob, real smooth.
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick are walking in somewhere of Bikini Bottom. Patrick smiles]
Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
Right, gotcha. [Patrick stop smiling] No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
Yeah. This is... [gulps] easy. How you holding up?
Huh, fine. You? [SpongeBob grunts, but makes an T-shaped face and laughs, Patrick fails to keep a straight face and makes an ugly face] Dun ah eeh. [both SpongeBob and him are laughing, SpongeBob suddenly stops and looks at his himself]
Hey! [Patrick is still ignoring him while laughing] Patrick. [Patrick is still laughing. SpongeBob pulls out a megaphone and yells at him] Patrick!
Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
[stretching through his eyes for a few times] Gosh, you're right.
Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true, let's make lots of faces.
You mean like this? [stretching] Ree eeh eeh!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both, SpongeBob growls]
[montage of SpongeBob and Patrick making grotesque faces]
Dah yah dah da dah! [he and Patrick both laugh]
[wakes up and surprised] Wow, Patrick, you did hold that face all night!
Actually, I can't move my face at all.
[feels on his face] I can't move my face either!
[oblivious and excited] Alright! We did it!
No, Patrick! It's not alright, this means Mr. Krabs was right! [Patrick then realizes the situation and gets scared] Patrick, we have the "face freeze"! [both scream] Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!
FWFactory Worker
We're closed! Do I have to spell it out for you? C-S-L-O-S-Z-E-D. Cuh-losed! Not only that, but the very last box of Snail Bites shipped out days ago! They were such a hit they flew out of the stores and now, we've run out of ingredients! From what I hear, the owner even dropped out of the snail food business entirely! Yeah and why wouldn't he, huh? He's made his money!
You see, Gary? There are no more--
FWFactory Worker
I mean, it's not like I would do the same thing if I were in his shoes!
So, you see, Gary, there--
FWFactory Worker
Why would anybody go out punishing themselves, just for the sake of the happiness of a few pets or--
Would you mind being quiet for one second, please!?
Hey, SpongeBob. Your snail's still meowing? I have experience with these situations. You're the sponge. He is the snail. You just have to say, "No," in a very firm voice!
But... I don't want to say no to my wittle Gare-Bear! I want him to be happy.
Well, you gotta be firm, SpongeBob! Sometimes, you have to no when to say "know." Oh, wait... wait, wait, wait, it's the other way around. You've got to know when to say "no." Yeah, that's it!
But I don't know how to say no, Patrick!
No problem, SpongeBob. You can practice on me! Pretend I'm Gary and tell me no. [pretends to be a dog]
[Tries to say no but stops] I can't! You're so cute!
Do it, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob struggles again] Do it! [between struggles] DO IT! DO IT!! DO IT!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!!!!
STOP IT!!!!! [runs back to his rock crying]
Oh, Gary, It's a photo! It's a framed photo of the moment I picked you up at the pound! I remember that day like it was yesterday. Oh, and a photo of the time you built me a castle made of glitter and lollipops! [sniffles] Gary, this is the most special -- [snaps out of it] OH...! Nice try, Gary!
Gare-Bear, we looked everywhere! There are no more Snail Bites! I'm sorry, Gary, but the answer is....... No.
[Gary goes to bed and stops meowing all together, to SpongeBob's surprise]
[sings as he walks through the city] Going to work, going to work, I'm going to work! I'm going to work, I'm going to work, [spins arms around] I'm going to work! [twirls] I'm going to work. I'm going to work, going to work, go-going to work. I'm crossing the street! [does so] Crossing the street! I'm crossing the street! Crossing the... [stops] Wha...? [hears Plankton sobbing] I'd recognize that sound anywhere! It's the sound of horrible, croaking sobbing! [runs over to a dark alley]
[tearfully] Oh, Neptune! Why, oh why?!
No, please! I told you I'd get the money! Please, I- [stops suddenly and realizes SpongeBob is standing right behind him.] Oh, it's you.
Plankton, what's got you so upset? I can hear you from three blocks away!
Oh, that. It's this doomsday device I invented. [holds up his doomsday device] It just doesn't do what it's supposed to do!
Doomsday device? What's it supposed to do?
Well, it's supposed to upset the Earth's axis. Causing a chain reaction with typhoons, earthquakes, etc.
So, what does it do instead?
It just sparks and falls apart.
Can we please steal the secret formula now? Pretty please, Man Ray?
MRMan Ray
I MUST HAVE MORE! [starts to pound on the table] Bring me more Krabby Patties! Bring more Krabby Patties! [shoots roof with laser gun]
[he and Squidward are scared by his acts before SpongeBob stands in front] Stand aside, Squidward. I'm gonna be my own hero. [slides into the kitchen, and runs out to Man Ray with hundreds of Krabby Patties] Thank you, sir! Enjoy your meal.
MRMan Ray
At last! [starts to eat the Krabby Patties]
Alright, fine! I'll just steal the secret formula myself! [grabs Man Ray's laser gun] Oh, and Man Ray, this friendship is OVER! [Man Ray burps, which causes Plankton to drop the gun]
MRMan Ray
[is now obese after eating too much Krabby Patties. He holds one last uneaten Krabby Patty] No... no... no more... can't... eat... [drops the last Patty] another... [chair breaks, and Man Ray falls on the floor]
[he and Barnacle Boy walk through the burnt-down door] There he is! [they cuff Man Ray] Alright, Man Ray, lunch time's over!
MRMan Ray
[surprised] WHAT?! How did you two know I was here?
A little sponge told us. [they pull Man Ray away]
MRMan Ray
This wasn't supposed to happen...
[rolls out a very long bill] Here you go, Plankton.
It's the bill. For your partner. [he, SpongeBob, and Squidward laugh as the episode ends]
[It was night time at Le Chm Bucket with a huge line. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob enters the restaurant disguised as rich noblemen in tuxedos]
Oohh! Just act like another fancy customer.
Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs! [Mr. Krabs covers SpongeBob mouth]
Shh! [stammering] What's gotten into you? Highfalutin customers don't bark at the top of their lungs like a seadog.
Oops, uh... I mean, I fancy a bit of the old chum. Indeed I do, Squire.
Good evening, Madam. Table for two, please?
I be Eugene....er.... I mean, uh, [looks at the used ketchup wrapper on the floor] Sir Krumple O'Wrapper. Uh, that's me name. Don't wear it out.
Alright, let's pull up your reservation. [looks through the reservation sheet] Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. I'm not showing any "O'Wrapper."
Reservation? In this sinkhole?!
There's a two-year wait for a table.
[walks over to Karen; annoyed] What's seems to be the problem? [much to his surprise, he notices Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob on their mustache disguises and doesn't buy it] Well, well, well, [blows Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob's disguises off their faces with a fan] if it isn't Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob. Now just follow me. I believe I have a table reserved just for you. [the 'table' that Squidward 'reserved' for Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob turns out to be a toilet. It turns out that Squidward just wanted to get his revenge on Mr. Krabs for not valuing him and SpongeBob for all those times he annoyed him. Squidward puts a tablecloth on the toilet] Bon Appetit, Suckers! [laughs at them as he walks away. Soon, everyone joins in the humiliation by laughing at Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob as they leave the restaurant in sadness and humiliation] See you in two years! [laughs and scoffs at them]
Yeah, see how you like it, Krabs! [laughs along with Squidward as Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob leave]
[Meanwhile, the line keeps getting longer and longer and Squidward continues to serve his Chum Fricassee to his customers and fans]
Here you go, folks. Enjoy my world famous Fricassee. [All of a sudden, someone bursts through the front door which turns out to be Squidward's grandmother and she's not very happy] Grandma!?
TGrandma Tentacles
[enters the restaurant and corners her grandson by the kitchen doors] Someone's been cooking my recipe, [sniffs] and they're doing it wrong!
TGrandma Tentacles
Saving my recipe from my bumbling grandson. [crushes Squidward's foot with her walker]
Ow! I didn't do it! Uh, uh, it was him! [points to Plankton]
[Plankton is seen exiting the kitchen with the plate of chum and hears what Squidward said about him, becomes furious. He throws the plate of chums in rage and pins the blame back on Squidward.]
What?! Oh, you're not pinning this on me! You said you didn't care if it was ready or not!
[fearfully] Ok, I admit it! I admit it! But—but—but what's the big deal? [Grandma Tentacles crushes his foot with her walker for second time] Ow!
TGrandma Tentacles
The big deal is when the chum is not cooked for exactly 24 hours, it causes severe tummy trouble.
[Listening to Grandma Tentacles, customers form a mob. The customers are enraged by what they're hearing to Grandma Tentacles.]
MFMale Fish
You fed us undercooked chum?!
TGrandma Tentacles
Tear him apart, people! [The fancy customers form a mob and start to attack Squidward and Plankton. They do an uproar, following what his grandmother says.]
I've had it, and I'm not gonna take it anymore! [Fred picks up a trash can, then throws it on a table. Other customers throw their chum meals on the ground and on the wall of the Chum Bucket. Another customer rips apart of an awning. Frank grabs a napkin holder, throwing napkins on the floor. Plankton pops up near the napkins.]
Not the napkins! [Frank doesn't listen to Plankton.]
AMAngry Mob
[An axe chops Squidward's picture in half.] He got what he deserves, that's what I say! [Else where in the exterior of Le Chum Bucket, it bursts into flames caused by the mob. As the restaurant is on fire, the customers run out of the bucket building.] It's on fire! It's all burning! Run! [the fire incinerates the restaurant, leaving only Plankton and Squidward standing with charred faces]
My restaurant! [begins crying]
My fan base! [Squidward also starts sobbing]
TGrandma Tentacles
I hope you learned your lesson, genius. [crushes Squidward's foot with her walker for third time as a punishment for his selfishness and wrongful acts]
Ow! [cries along with Plankton in despair]
[cuts to the Krusty Krab] Gee, Mr. Krabs. It sure was nice of you to hire Squidward back. Especially since he tried to destroy your business and all.
I figure it's the least I can do for him. After causing all that mayhem over at the Chum Bucket, in fact, I promoted him. He's our new doormat!
No! [laying on the floor like a doormat as punishment for their humiliation] Living the dream! [Moaning and groaning, some customers who destroyed the Chum Bucket wipe their feet on Squidward and the episode ends.]
[Meanwhile, cut to SpongeBob putting mayonnaise in a box, then taping it up, then cut to Mr. Krabs putting down a clock as a bulldozer arrives.]
[sad] It's time. [goes outside on the street and waits for the truck to stop in front of him]
SState officer
[puts one of the bulldozer's windows down] So, who's getting bulldozed today?
[with the clipboard] Oh, not me, your bureaucraticness. I completed my petition. [Mr. Krabs is worried]
SState officer
The people have spoken. Step aside, Mr. Krabs. [Part of the bulldozer smokes fire out.]
But... but... [as he backs up, the bulldozer follows him, towards the Krusty Krab.; angry] No! I'm not going anywhere!
SState officer
Please comply, Mr. Krabs. It'll be quick and painless.
If you wanna bulldoze me restaurant, [locks himself up] it's gonna be long and painful!
[is seen at the top of the restaurant, also locked up; angry] Stand your ground, Mr. Krabs! We are right behind you, right, Squidward? [the lock is empty] Squidward?
[Squidward is outside his home, with an umbrella on top of him, sitting on a chair, and drinking a cup of tea, happily.]
SState officer
[moves his bulldozer closer to the restaurant] Okay, now this is really your last chance.
[still angry] I'm never leaving the Krusty Krab!
SState officer
Fine. Have it your way. [pushes a lever]
[chuckles evilly, while setting up himself a movie theater seat, then sits on it] Bring it on! Bring the destruction! [munches on popcorn]
[part of the bulldozer smokes more fire out, and the bulldozer starts to move even closer to the restaurant.; sad] Goodbye, Krusty Krab! [As he closes his eyes, the bulldozer begins to push into the restaurant, but only moves it 1 foot then stops; confused] Eh?
SState officer
Thank you for your cooperation.
[spits the popcorn out, angry] What?! Excuse me, sir, but, uh... [stands on the seat] you forgot to level the place!
SState officer
Demolition is outside of my purview. I simply ensure that restaurants comply with the 100 foot ordinance. [measures the distance with a tape measure and says the 1 foot on it] That's 1 more foot. Perfect! [walks away from the restaurant]
[jumping on the seat, still angry] But that's not fair! [slips inside and the seat closes on him]
So you're not gonna destroy the Krusty Krab?
[jumps inside the bulldozer, hugging the state officer] Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! [as the state officer accidentally pulls the lever, the truck goes backwards. He and SpongeBob look out the window and are in shock as they are heading towards the Chum Bucket] Oh, dear. [the bulldozer crashes through the Chum Bucket, destroying it]
[Meanwhile, he's free from the seat after struggling to.; still angry] Come on! Let's do this! I wanna see some destruction! [as he gasps, he finally sees the destroyed Chum Bucket] I think I've seen enough. [goes back inside the seat as the episode ends]
