Hooray, Gary! We're finally huge! [the house shrinks again again and the bed disappears, leaving SpongeBob on the floor]
GaryMeow.
Huh? Wait a minute. [the scene cuts to outside where the nematodes are still drinking SpongeBob's house] Oh no! [runs into the living room. but squeezes through the door as he almost gets stuck. He gets freed as he gets launched into the wall. Gary gets stuck through the door as he slithers in. SpongeBob crashes into the wall, flipping the side table over] Ow. Shellphone! I know, I'll call Squidward. He'll know what to do.
Is it time already for you to ruin my day?
Squidward, help me! [his shellphone starts to shrink] My house is shrinking! I woke this morning, I was getting smaller and [high pitched voice] smaller! The walls are closing in on me! Gary is terrified too! [the shellphone is hung up; normal voice] Oh no!
Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Hey, SpongeBob. Don't start without me.
[Later, SpongeBob is walking home, back to Bikini Bottom, at night.]
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. [says "Buzz" fourteen more times as he walks up to the Krusty Krab door with a "Closed" sign and sees a plate full of Krabby Patties on a table] Krabby Patties. Buzz. Buzz. [walks past Sandy's treedome, then he sniffles] Sandy. [still saying "Buzz," walks up to his pineapple] What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up.
[SpongeBob opens the door. The light turns on. Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Squidward, Patrick, and Gary are there to welcome him home.]
KPMr. Krabs, Patrick, and Sandy
Welcome home, SpongeBob! [Squidward blows a party blower]
You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me!
Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty. [hands him a Krabby Patty]
Don't mind if I do. [eats it as Mr. Krabs places his Krusty Crew hat on his head]
And I'll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning.
[salutes] Aye, aye, captain!
SpongeBob, do us all a favor. [hands SpongeBob his pants]
Don't mind if I do! [puts on his pants] Ta-dah. [hugs Squidward] Aww.
Okay, that's enough. [everyone else hugs SpongeBob and Squidward]
Gary
Meow.
Could we please stop this? [everyone except SpongeBob starts to feel something]
Patrick itchy! [everyone but SpongeBob starts to scratch themselves and crawl on the floor]
[Spongebob plays Squidward's clarinet for the realtor]
RRealtor
Okay. I really don't want to hear another one.
[talking like Squidward] Okay. [plays the clarinet again]
RRealtor
I really don't want to hear more, thank you.
I hear you loud and clear. [When SpongeBob play the clarinet the third time, Squidward opens the door]
Stop! Get away from her! [to the realtor] Oh, I am so sorry, Ma'am. I hope these two [turns to SpongeBob and Patrick] barnacle heads [turns back to the realtor] haven't harmed you in any way.
RRealtor
What kind of fool do you take me for? [points to Patrick] He's Squidward. [points to SpongeBob] He's Squidward. [points to Squidward] You're Squidward? I'M SQUIDWARD! Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?!
Gary
[with a pickle on his face imitating Squidward] Meow.
RRealtor
I'm out of here.
Ma'am, please! What about my house?
RRealtor
I wouldn't sell a house for you if you were the last Squidward on Earth!
[screams, runs out of his house, and holds onto the realtor's leg and skirt. The realtor is dragging him, as she's about to leave] No, no, no, no, no! Please sell my house!
RRealtor
NEVER!!! [drives away]
Don't leave me here! [starts crying]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Happy Opposite Day, Squidward! We hate you!
[looks livid then calms down] Let me show you guys how much I HATE YOU.
[Squidward leaves; the ground rumbles and SpongeBob and Patrick scream and run off; reveals Squidward driving the bulldozer used to dismantle SpongeBob's house with; the two run away]
Patrick, do you ever feel that Squidward likes us too much?!
[Squidward laughs evilly as he continues chasing them as they run away into the distance, ending the episode]
[walks up to Gary's dream cloud] This must be Gary's dream. I'm gonna get a closer look. [jumps into the dream cloud. He falls down into a library] Whoa! Wow. Look at all these books. I wonder where Gary is. [walks past a pile of books] Gary! Huh? [sees Gary, who is now taller and wearing a cape, reading a book. He walks up to him] Excuse me, sir. Have you seen...?
Gary
[turns around and gasps] SpongeBob?
Gary
How dare you invade the sanctity of my dreams!
Gary
[sighs] In dreams, one is not tethered by earthly limitations.
Gary
Come. [they walk down an aisle of books] For ages, dreams have been thought of as windows to another realm. [picks up a book and reads from it] "Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again." Emily Dickinson wrote that.
Gary
[flips a few pages] Here's one you might know. [clears throat] There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true.
[laughs] Gee, Gary, you sure are smart.
Gary
Did you think my shell was full of hot air?
Well, thanks for the info, Gary. I'm going back to my own dream now. [starts walking away]
Gary
Beware of your wandering eye, you little poriferan!
[screams as he gets shot out of Mr. Krabs' dream cloud and into Plankton's dream on a building. The plunger is stuck onto a building] Hey, Plankton's dreaming about Bikini Bottom.
Zap! [zaps a building near SpongeBob and fish: Incidental 93, Incidental 40, Incidental 86 come running out] I see you. [stomps up to another building, twenty times the size of his normal self] Zap! [shoots a green laser out of his eye]
Plankton! [tries to get himself untied from the rope around his ankle]
I see you... [SpongeBob gets untied and drops to the ground] Zap! [zaps and disintegrates the building that SpongeBob was on, then walks to the Krusty Krab. People continue to: Fred, and Incidental 73 scream in panic] Oh look, it's the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. [stomps on it] Crush! [picks up the Krusty Krab sign and starts to lick it as if it was a lollipop and walks off] Lick, lick!
[as he runs around] This isn't a dream! This is a nightmare!
Gary
Meow! Meow!
[stops and looks. Appears more and more worried.] Gary! Gary! No!
Gary
Meow! [Plankton still coming towards Gary making giant step sounds]
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Gary! [jumps over to Gary and hugs him] I've got you, Gary!
Peek-a-boo! Here comes my foot! [stomps his foot on SpongeBob & Gary] YEAH! Huh? [lifts up his foot] YOW!
[suddenly turns into a pin] I think he’s got the point. [laughs]
[deflates and shrinks] WHOA!
[SpongeBob walks home into his own dream cloud where his real self is still sleeping]
Ah, that was fun and all, but it's good to be back in my own dream cloud. [goes to sleep] Ah... [wakes up after hearing his friends voices and faces hovering around his head]
[his head starts circling SpongeBob] SpongeBob! [the heads of Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Gary, Plankton, Pearl and Patrick start surrounding SpongeBob]
HSHeads of SpongeBob's friends
SpongeBob!
[tossing and turning in his sleep] What do you want from me? Leave me alone! No, no... No, no, no, no, no, no! [Squidward nudged and tapped SpongeBob and he wakes up]
[screams, then sees his friends stand around his bed, except Patrick] Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
[Scene now shows Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Gary, Plankton, and Pearl, who all look angry at SpongeBob.]
No. We are not having a slumber party!
Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams!
AEAll except Patrick
[grumble in agreement]
Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary
[in anger] Meow!
[walks in] Does anyone have a quarter? [all stare at Patrick]
[Gary snoring and meowing]
Gary
[wakes up] Meow?
Gary
[quizzically] Meow? ("We are?")
That's right! We're leaving home. We're going to become peasants! [puts on a hat and a fake beard]
Gary
Meow? ("Peasants?")
[takes Gary's bowl away] No more food. [gives Gary a plate with clams on it] Sorry, Gary. Peasants only eat mashed-up clam shells.
[SpongeBob seasons the shells with salt as Gary starts crying.]
SpongeBob [takes off the peasant mask] April Fools! [puts Gary's food bowl back onto the floor] There you go, pal.
Gary
Meow.
[goes into the kitchen] Whew, I'm thirsty! [opens the fridge and takes a giant pitcher of lemonade out of it] This is an extreme thirst! [sets the lemonade down on the floor, causing the floor to shake a little]
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob putting all the lemonade into a lot of small glasses with umbrellas.]
[normal voice] Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all these drinks! April Fools! [holds up a mirror] To me.
[SpongeBob laughs obnoxiously, leaves his home and goes to work. Squidward sees him walking next to his house.]
What's he so happy about? (I mean, what's today anyhow?) [walks by the calendar and panics when he notices it's...] "April 1st"!? [yells] April Fools Day is SpongeBob's favorite holiday!
[SpongeBob is shown crawling into his pineapple]
Gary
Meow.
Gary
Meow.
I'm not in the mood, Gary.
Gary
Meow. [the scene changes to SpongeBob's bedroom. Off-Screen] Meow.
[crawls into bed] Just leave me and me untied shoes alone, Gary.
Gary
ROAR!!! [knocks SpongeBob off the bed and onto the floor]
Okay, Gary, you have my attention.
Gary
Meow. [ties SpongeBob's shoes]
[gasps] Gary! Well, I'll be! You can tie shoes! [Gary shows himself wearing shoes that look like old-style bowling shoes, under his shell] Hoppin' clams! How did you learn to do that?
[Gary's shell opens revealing a record. The song, Loop Dee Loop by Ween starts and SpongeBob starts dancing]
WWeen
♪Wanna learn how to tie your shoe? [the scene changes to show SpongeBob in a classroom wearing a teacher's outfit and on the chalkboard there are sketches of shoes] It's a very easy thing to do. [Gary appears on a stool. SpongeBob puts on his glasses and taps the board with his pointer] Just sit on down [Patrick appears in the desk next to SpongeBob] and I'll give you the scoop, [Patrick holds out an ice cream cone and SpongeBob gives him a tied shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe. Patrick looks surprised] What's that? [the scene changes to show the words "Loop Dee Loop" in shoelaces and SpongeBob pulls on two of the aglets] It's called the loop-dee-loop. [the scene changes to show SpongeBob's leg with an untied shoe] You gotta take a lace in each hand, [two SpongeBobs hold an aglet in one of each's hands goes up and past the screen. The scene changes again to show the SpongeBobs crossing each other's paths] You go over and under again. [the SpongeBobs come back around under the cross path that they made. The go upward and past the screen. They come back and pass each other's path one more time] You make a loop-dee-loop and [the scene changes to show a small SpongeBob tying the lace of a big SpongeBob's shoe] pull. And your shoes are [the Big SpongeBob is shown wearing a top hat and giant shoes. He takes his hat off and kicks the newly tied shoe. It flies off] lookin' cool. [the scene changes to show a SpongeBob multiplying into multiple SpongeBobs and follows the lyrics] You go over and back, left to right, Loop-dee-loop [the scene changes to show SpongeBob holding his laces while jumping] and you pull 'em tight, [the scene changes to show SpongeBob with a bunny toy] Like bunny ears [a present appears] or a Christmas bow, [the bunny toy becomes a bunny slipper and SpongeBob is seen wearing it and the present as shoes] Lace 'em up and you're ready to go. [SpongeBob runs out of the scene. The scene changes to show SpongeBob jumping off of a tight rope wire swing thing. He stops and spins around and then falls] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [the scene changes to show SpongeBob and Gary falling into a giant shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe] And your shoes are lookin' cool. [SpongeBob pulls on the laces and wings appear on both sides of the shoe and the shoe plane takes off. The scene changes to show the plane passing giant tied shoe laces. The shoe plane hits a roller coaster track and the wings fall off and it becomes a roller coaster car] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [the shoe falls off of the track and lands on the ground] And your shoes are lookin' cool.♪
[SpongeBob and Gary pop out of the shoe and the episode ends]
Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
Laundry? But we used to do laundry!
And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
[on the verge of breaking down] Soap? But we used to use soap! [holds up two different types of soap] Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du...
[breaks out in a fountain of tears, each falling into the separate soapboxes and lathering them up in his hand] GARY, PLEASE COME BACK GARY! GARY, PLEASE COME HOME! I'M A WRECK WITHOUT YOU! [stops crying] I know! If you come back, there'll be a new no-rules rule. You can do whatever you want, when you want! [runs up to the sofa and tears it up furiously] If you feel like ripping the sofa, then you rip it up! [runs up to the litter box] And the litter box? Forget about it! [he dumps the litter on his head] The world is your litter box! [he runs to the fridge and opens it] And you don't even have to wait around for me to feed you anymore! 24-hour fridge access! [he takes a milk carton and drinks it] And you don't even have to use a bowl! [he runs to a giant carving of Squidward] And I know how much you like my prized driftwood carving of Squidward. [scratches at it] Well, think of it as your own personal scratching post! What do you think, Gary? Won't it be fun, Gary? [we see SpongeBob has carved Squidward into a heart]
Gary? [the heart breaks in half and one half hits him. The two walk to the laundry room]
[patronisingly] I'm sorry, SpongeBob. But Gary's with me now. You had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it, SpongeBob, you're only hurting yourself. [he takes off his shorts and puts them in the machine; Gary crawls in after them] It's what Gary wants, and what Gary wants is me. Right, Gary? [Gary does not answer] Huh?
[The two notice Gary is in the machine, nudging in Patrick's shorts and crunching on something.]
He only liked me for my shorts!
No, Patrick! He wanted the cookie in your pocket!
[Gary is indeed eating the cookie. He finishes it, pops out of the machine, and crawls back to SpongeBob]
Gary
Meow.
Gary? [Gary burps and happily meows] Whee! [hugs Gary] Oh, Gary, I knew you'd never leave me! Aww... [giggles, he takes his leash] Let's go for a walk, pal! [the two walk out of the house]
[left alone heartbroken and devastated] Gary? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL...!!! [the episode ends]
Oh Gary, I'm too young to have my butt kicked! There are so many things in life I haven't gotten to do! [cut to SpongeBob in an office building at a desk, on the phone] Hang on, I'll transfer your call. [cut back to a knock on the door] Who is it? [door falls down. SpongeBob sees Flats and screams] Flats!
FFlats
It's butt-kicking time!
Gary, there's something I want you to know, but I'm too scared to remember what it is. [Flats cracks his knuckles more and more. SpongeBob breathes harder and harder. Flats brushes his teeth and gargles. SpongeBob breathes harder]
Go away, Gary. I don't want you to see this. It'll be ugly. [Gary gets out a camera from his shell]
Hold on. [puts a blindfold over his eyes] Okay, I'm ready. [Flats punches SpongeBob, but it doesn't hurt him] I said I'm ready. [Flats tries again but same result happens] Didn't you hear me? I said I'm ready. [Flats punches him again and this time SpongeBob giggles] That tickles. [Flats keeps punching him but nothing seems to hurt SpongeBob] Gary, I'm absorbing his blows like I was made of some kind of spongy material! Do you know what that means? I get to go to work tomorrow! [cut to next day where SpongeBob is in the Krusty Krab kitchen, grilling, and Flats is still punching SpongeBob, then scene cuts to him playing cards with Gary] You have any sevens?
Gary
Meow.
[chasing jellyfish, walking out of the bathroom, sleeping, and eating breakfast, while Flats is still punching him. Cut to boating school as SpongeBob is sitting at his desk and Flats is punching, but is now exhausted. He passes out due to exhaustion] Flats, are you okay? [everyone cheers] Do not cheer me, my fellow adult classmates. Flats was the real victim here. A victim of a society that's riding down a violent road to nowhere; a road I call... [clenches fist] ...'violence road'.
[walks in] Sorry I'm late, class, I... [gasps as she sees SpongeBob's fist and Flats on the ground] SpongeBob! I can't believe you beat up a new student! [zoom out of school] I'm going to kick your butt!
[Episode ends]
AAnnouncer
Oh, looks like number 7 has a blowout! [Gary's other eye explodes] Oops, make that two, folks.
[Gary's shell breaks, showing a machine inside]
AAnnouncer
: Plus, a blown head gasket! Oh, and the poor creature's still going for it.
[getting worried] Umm, Gary, you can stop now!
[Gary is leaving skid marks on the track]
AAnnouncer
He's losing control!
[Gary is running into the walls, making a bunch of sparks]
You can take a break now if you want to, Gary!
[Gary is spinning on the track]
AAnnouncer
He's spinning out of control! [crowd gasps] He's heading straight for the wall!
[Gary runs into a wall of tires and explodes. The crowd gasps again, then they cheer]
No! [two firemen come up and extinguish the smoke. Squidward laughs] Hold on, Gary, I'm coming! [runs onto the track]
AAnnouncer
Whoa. One of the coaches seems to have raced onto the track. That is an automatic disqualification. Looks like number six has this race all wrapped up, ladies and gentlemen.
[Snellie is coming up on the finish line]
Come on, Snellie, it's all you, baby!
[runs up to Gary, crying] Oh, Gary, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just say I was pushing it too hard?!?!
Gary
Meow.
You did? [cries more] Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?!
Gary
Meow.
You did? [cries some more] Oh, Gary! Oh, Gary!
Patrick, what's happened to you?
I don't know what you mean.
Uh... [laughs] You know, Mr. Krabs is probably wondering where I am...and...
[intimidated of Patrick's rage] And, um, well...it's just that, um, you're kinda being a jerk.
Huh? [laughs] I thought you were going to say I was abusing my power.
[explodes] Who's saying I'm abusing my power?! [SpongeBob shrinks and Patrick rips off his cloak] I'll put the whole town in prison! [SpongeBob runs away] Questioning my authority is treason! All these giggly speeches are making me thirsty. SpongeBob, I request a drink. SpongeBob? [claps twice] SpongeBob?! Huh. Gee, everybody's gone. I'm all alone. Fine, I'll get it myself! [walks by the mirror, and his reflection looks like a monster]
Huh? [gasps] A knock knock joke! [he runs back to the mirror] Who's there?
PMPatrick and Mirror
I don't get it.
MMirror
I'm you and you are me. [a wire in Patrick's head connects and short circuits]
PMPatrick and Mirror
[screams] What have I become?! [Patrick races out of his rock]
Aaah, help! Monster! Monster! [he bumps into the Royal Ministry starfish] Huh? Oh, it's, it's you! [he thrusts the crown at the starfish] Here, here, take it. I don't want it anymore. It's turned me into a monster.
RMRoyal Ministry Starfish
Oh, I think I know what's going on here. Patrick, with great power comes great responsibility. [Patrick is shaking and whimpering] You haven't a clue what I just told you, do you?
RMRoyal Ministry Starfish
Oh, just as well. I've come to take the crown back, as it seems that you aren't royalty after all.
RMRoyal Ministry Starfish
[takes out family history] I've discovered this coffee stain, which upon removal, reveals that Sir Gary is the true heir to the king's crown. [he removes the stain to show Gary's picture on the family history parchment. Bubble transition to Gary having a crown put on his head, SpongeBob and Patrick dressed in medieval clothes]
Well, would you look at that. Gary, you're royalty!
Gary
[smiles] Meow?
No! No, I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab!
[Everybody growls and screams]
UFUnknown Fish
Let us apprehend that careless contaminator!
[All the fish attack SpongeBob, who starts crying, making a huge puddle in his bubble. Outside the Krusty Krab, Gary slithers into the dumpster and eats a can, which he coughs up. His stomach growls as he slithers out]
Gary
Meow. [sees SpongeBob inside getting attacked by the Krusty Krab fish]
[crying] Ohhhh, noo! [the fish body slam SpongeBob's bubble, which make holes that the Ick leaks through] Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick! [the unknown fish the other fish make a final body slam] No!
[All the fish slam into it, and it pops, splattering Fungus all over the Krusty Krab]
[laughing] Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward!
Gary B. Snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission?
[We see Gary clean the Ick off of Mr. Krabs]
He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured and he'll clean the Ick off any surface...even Squid!
[Gary sucks the fungi off Squidward, next]
MSMartha Smith
Where are your manners? It's ladies first!
I believe the expression is starfish first.
UFUnknown Fish
I supersede all of you! For I have an exotic accent.
Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution I'll be happy with. [later...] Step up to be de-Icked! Only $5! [the first fish steps up, and Gary cleans him] Now can I get you a Krabby Patty?
UFUnknown Fish
[whacks Mr. Krabs with his glove] In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive. [pulls out money] I'll take 2, please.
[gives Mr. Krabs the money] Here you go, Mr. Krabs!
Another $5 for another de-Icking.
[Gary cleans SpongeBob off]
Look, Gary! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottom feeder a sponge could ever have!
Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work!
Gary
[burps loudly then he realizes is full, and then smiles] Meow.
You were trying to tell me that all along Weren't you, Gary?
Gary
Meow, meow!
Well, I won't let it happen again.
JJudge
Well, I think we can all agree that this year's groomers cup goes to...SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!
Did you hear that, Gary? They're rewarding you for standing up and speaking out against injustice. Maybe these pageants aren't so superficial after all.
JJudge
What are you talking about? The snail didn't win, I was referring to your other pet. He's so adorable.
Woof, woof! [sticks his tongue out]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
