A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
7th most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 75 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Crow T. Robot (34), Tom Servo (32), Joel Robinson (18)
Gypsy, did you realize that Walter Pigeon was the original Admiral Nelson in the film version of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea?
No way...
Not Richard Basehart!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! JOOOOOEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!!!
[Gypsy makes a rare theater apperance during the beginning of this episode. The movie features a scene with some "good-natured brawling" going on between a large group of men.]
Hey, stop fighting! Everybody stop fighting!
[trying to hide his amusement] Um, it's...it's okay, Gypsy. It's just a movie.
[catching herself] Oh?...Oh! Sorry, sorry...
[Hercules and company ride their horses through a patch of fog]
Hey, get this, they're steam cleaning the horses!
[impressed] All right, Gypsy! Good one!
[during a scene where Androcles speaks with Hercules and his Council in Thebes; to Joel and the others] Hey, you guys; I just remembered, I have a million things to do.
Gypsy, you can't leave! You were the one that wanted to sit through the whole experiment!
[uneasy] That was before... I knew... and then there were these things, and now I have to go do them.
Well, Gypsy, if you can't stand the heat-
That's okay, Gypsy, run along; it's really fine. [Gypsy leaves the theater as the film continues; aside to the bots] She did her best. I don't want you guys making fun of-
[shushes Joel] Watch the movie, Joel!
[to Gypsy] Richard Basehart!
Don't patronize me, Joel!
[during a host segment, the bots are performing a parody of General Hospital, each line punctuated by a sting organ noise]
[to Crow] Peggy, I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
Oh my God; what is it? Is it a hiatus hernia?
No, it's not that.
Is it the heartbreak of psoriasis?
No, it's not that.
Is it a Mo-No on the A-Go-Go?
No, I'm afraid it's far worse than that.
Please, Doc, tell me what it is!
Well, when you were walking down the hall earlier, the back of your hospital gown was open, and everyone could see your butt!
[crying] I'll never live down the shaaaaaaame!
You know, my dear... in tough situations like this in the past, patients found the best thing is to be comforted by me- Dr. Chad Feelgood.
Oh, Chad...
[enters as a nurse] You cad! I knew you were cheating on me!!
My dear, I can explain!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I- [to Crow] Hey; nice butt!
[Crow breaks down in tears along with Gypsy]
I can comfort you, I can-
What's going on here?
Oh no; it's Joel Robinson! The hard-drinking, heavy-fisted, cantankerous yet lovable hospital Administrator!
No, I'm not!
Oh no, and he's suffering from amnesia!
You guys, listen: I'm not gonna play soap opera with you. When I was 9 years old, my sister made me play soap opera with her. I'm not gonna play soap opera. [Cambot continues playing the soap opera sting music] Okay Cambot, that's it. Alright... that's it! [unplugs Cambot in irritation] Who's next?!
[bandaged up from Gypsy ramming into him] My achin' noggin...
Yeah, Well, serves you right for taking advantage of these little Charm-kins!
Oh yeah? well, you should ask these little "charmkins" what I found oozing out of my pillow case this morning!
Aw, you little baby, it could've been a lot worse!
Yeah, at least we killed him before we stuffed him in there.
Enough, you three! Freebie and the Bean are calling.
[slowly] "A train leaves a station at 2PM, going 90 miles an hour. Another train leaves another station going the opposite direction at 5PM going 60 miles an hour. How long before they meet?"
Oh, Gypsy, that is everything great literature should be: according to Merritt Stone.
[offscreen] HE'S NOT MERRITT STONE!
[On the SOL bridge, Gypsy takes the stage wearing a coat]
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting in her one woman show: Gypsy!
Here we go!
Ssshh!
[singing] There’s a big frontier out there called life, I ain’t nobody’s daughter, I ain’t nobody’s wife, I’m gonna stake my very own claim of land, And you’re gonna wanna know who I am… I’m Gypsy! Gypsy Rose Me! Gypsy Rose, not you! Not you! Or you! Gypsy Rose… Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
[Joel, Crow, and Tom applaud]
Thank you! Oh, thank you very much. You know, we're all traveling; You, me, that little gold guy over there. We're traveling on the big trip of life, and sometimes it turns out we haven't packed the right clothes for our personal journey. :[Gypsy takes off her coat, revealing a pink outfit underneath] "I've been struggling to make ends meet. The social worker stops by today, but we'll get by, somehow..." Thank you.
[Joel, Crow, and Tom applaud again. Gypsy takes off her pink dress, revealing a golden sparkling outfit.]
"I'm sick of fighting with you, boyfriend! But I'm not going to walk out that door; No sir, I'm going to run out that door!" Thank you, Thank you.
[Everyone applauds.]
Hey, is my act interfering with your conversation, buddy? [Crow, Joel and Tom laugh heartily] You get three guys together, huh? What, some sort of love connection screwup? [Crow, Joel and Tom laugh again]
Yay!
Oh, thank you, thank you. What a night, everybody! But before I go, I want to tell you a little story; A story about a gal who ran the higher functions of a little satellite in a synchronous orbit, A gal that everyone thought was perhaps, a little slow, a little naïve, a little... simple. But let me tell you something about that gal. She has spirit, she had guts! and most of all, she had a huge heart. That gal was on her journey and when her luggage ended up on another planet, that gal picked herself up, dusted herself off and wore the same outfit 2 days in a row. That plucky little gal, is... me!
[the S.o.L. gang hold a parade based around the Undersea Kingdom short]
[narrating as Allen Thick, as Tom Servo floats by as a parade float] And here's a perennial favorite: the lovable Tom Servo from TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000; he portrays Dr. Norton's submarine from-
-The Undersea Kingdom! Did you know it took 18 seamstresses working around the clock for three months to bring the plucky little bot to life?
[as the parade Grand Marshall] It is balloon!
And Tom is filled with over 15,000 cubic yards of hydrogen.
I think you mean helium.
Oh, I'm tellin' ya, Gypsy, I love you!
Really?
And I know I'd love you, too, if only we could--
Why, you haven't a chance with a girl like her. It's me she cares for! Isn't that right, Gypsy?
I can't decide.
Can't decide? Well maybe this will help.
[Joel, Tom, Crow, and Gypsy are performing "Hired! The Musical"]'
[[in a whisper] He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired.
[singing] I'm hired
[singing] He's hired.
[singing] I hope I don't get fired.
[singing] He's hired.
[singing] In forty years I'll be retired. But for now, I'm simply hired.
[singing] He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired.
[singing] I got a job today.
[singing] He's hired.
[singing] I'm selling Chevrolets.
[singing] He's hired.
[singing] I'm bringing home good pay.
[singing] He's hired.
[singing] I just got hired
[singing] He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He got a job today.
[singing] Yeah, me!
[singing] He's selling Chevrolets.
[singing] We're gonna get awnings.
[singing] He's bringing home good pay.
[singing] I'm hired
[singing] Maybe even dessert
[singing at same time with bots next line] I'm hired!
[singing] He just got hired! HIRED!
[singing] I was wondering if you’d like to see my-
No!
[singing] But I really think you should see my-
No!
[singing] It’s got a lovely-
No!
[singing] And if only you would-
No!
[singing] Can’t you see we’re trying to tell you no!!
It seems as if everybody who's anybody is here tonight.
That's because they knew you'd be wearing that dress. Wow.
Okay, so, is everybody done with their art-therapy project?
Mm-hmm.
Joel, what's the point of this art-therapy stuff, anyway, huh?
Well, by having you draw pictures of your idealized family, maybe you can escape some of the deep psychological problems that Jimmy, the star of today's movie, suffered because of his family. So let's see what you've drawn, okay? This is Crow's... .
[Crow's drawing is a giant version of himself with a handlebar mustache, knives for hands, and lasers firing from his chest, walking down a city street crushing buildings]
Huh.
That's my dad. He's all-powerful! His hands are made of stainless steel and he has lasers that shoot out of his chest. Pyeww! Pyeww!
Ooh!
I don't have to tell ya, he's the coolest dad in the whole neighborhood. And when we go to father-son picnics, we win every event. And he dispenses homespun wisdom and teaches solid Midwestern values while crushing all who block his path!
Ahh... .
Uh huh. And what about the handlebar mustache?
Uh... .I dunno.
Okay, let's see here. [writes] "Oral obsession with mustache indicates nasal-labial shame." Good, okay. Now let's see yours here, Tom. What's this?
[Tom's drawing is two women holding hands, with a big robot standing behind them]
Okeydoke! Uh, that's my mom, my dad and my mom. My mom is Hayley Mills, my dad is Gigantor and my mom is Peggy Cass.
Uh huh. And why are your moms holding hands, Tom?
I dunno.
Okay, let's see... . [writes] "Latent "Parent Trap" syndrome." [aside whisper] Man should be in a straitjacket! [addresses Gypsy] Okay, Gypsy, this one's really nice, what about this one?
[Gypsy's is of her, Crow, Joel, Tom and Cambot--holding hands, with Richard Basehart looking down on them from a cloud overhead]
Gypsy: Well, Joel, my ideal family is right here! And I know Richard Basehart watches over us all.
Oh, that's really sweet, Gypsy. But tell me, why does Richard Basehart get to play God?
I dunno.
Uh, Joel? Why are you spending your time psychoanalyzing robots?
Um... .I don't know.
[Short but awkward silence]
I'm kidding, of course.
[Commercial sign]
We'll be right back. I do know! I really do know.
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes