Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Trollenberg, home of the Crawling Eye. All stops lead to a bloody death.

Servo

[first riff; displaying a mountainside] This must be a Paramount Picture.

Servo

[attempting to shoo away a swarm of Demon Dogs from the Satellite of Love] Puppy party's over; everybody off! This is Tom Servo, your worst doggy nightmare!

Servo

Oh, if they'd only shown him diving out of the way, I wouldn't have spent the week worrying about him.

Servo

Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Can't he just show them a pie chart or something?

Servo

Just shoot him! You told him you would. Don't pad your part!

That felt good... Now I'm going to turn my daughter into a woodchuck.

Servo

[as one of the scouts ends up mauled by a giant fake-looking spider] My God, how horrible! To be killed by a plush toy!

I've got to go back here and talk to the Lion and the Witch.

Servo

Oh, no -- the jazz combo was in there!!

Servo

[as the scorpion attacks outside of town and causes chaos] It's Crazy Days! We're slashing and dashing prices! Yes, all giant scorpions get in free; free hot dogs and balloons for the kids. Yes, come on down and visit me in coke jail; I'm in coke prison! Get me out; get me out! Come on down to Crazy Days, this Sunday!

Servo

Oh, I'd hate to shoot a butt like that!

Servo

[as Popaca reveals himself as the titular Aztec Mummy] I am not an animal; I am a Aztec Mummy!

Servo

[being dragged back to his seat by Joel] This is Buddhist! You invented us to suffer!

Servo

[as Cody's assistant, Ted, is shown losing oxygen] By this time, my lungs were aching for air!