Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[A woman stares blankly at a mountain as bizarre music plays.]

[the titular eye finally appears as a young girl rushes back into the hotel on the mountain to retrieve her toy ball]

Joel

It thinks that ball is one of its pupils.

[A priest carries the prone Xochi up the aisle to the sacrificial altar.]

Joel

Kind of looks like Dirty Dancing, doesn't it?

[After the stars a list of names under "With" comes up.]

Joel

These are the extras...they'll probably get killed.

[On the prehistoric planet, Dr. Farrell looks into the bubbling pond that swallowed a crewman.]

Joel

Is he primordial soup yet?

[At the end of the movie, as romantic soundtrack music plays, Cmdr. Scott and Lt. Karen Lamont gaze into each other's eyes.]

[Stranded and virus-infected astronaut Lockhart begs for NASA scientists to push his capsule's remote self-destruct button]

Joel

[as Lockhart/David Bowie] This is Major Tom to Ground Control...

[even later, as Paul attempts to throttle the diner owner while under the hand's influence]

Joel

[as Owner] No strangling, not allowed.

[Crow and Servo tell Joel off in that he always wins every game he makes the Bots play- due to their non-functioning arms- and leave him alone]

Joel

[addressing Cambot] Cambot, I want you to remind me of something: next time I make a robot, no more free will. That's it; and now we've got commercial sign.

[Paul is driving out of town when he gets attacked by the severed hand, perfectly parking the car to a stop without crashing while still fighting the hand off]

Joel

See, you can tell it's a low-budget movie because they can't wreck the cars.

[Ro-Man clumsily struggles with Alice and Roy.]

Joel

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the destroyer of the universe. I rest my case.

[After a long day slave-laboring in the cotton fields, the peppy teen convicts dance at a sock hop in their quarters.]

Joel

That's the problem with today's youth. This is how their image of prison is.

[Commando Cody flies across the moon surface, surveying the terrain]

Joel

Hey, the moon looks just like Arizona, you guys!