Magic Voice quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[as Timmy snarls and attacks Cambot] Who are you?! What are you doing here; keep away! Cambot; look out!

We'll be right back... I think. Noel!

Attention; the buffet is now being served.

Why don't you boys play Hungry Hungry Hippoes?

Joel

Oh; we lost all the marbles.

Servo

Hey, Magic Voice; don't suppose you know where our Mouse Trap game is, do you?

I didn't play with it last.

[sighs] The pieces are missing anyway.

Well, why don't you read a book?

Joel

[as he and the Bots scoff and protest] Oh, gag me... no way!

Well, I don't know what you're going to do then. It's Commercial Sign in five seconds.

Joel

Maybe we could play some poker.

Poker? What's poker?

[as Joel and the Bots agree on the poker idea] You boys be nice to Gypsy.

Joel

[helping instruct Gypsy through the game, whispering] Gypsy, just tell 'em what you want to do and keep your poker face on.

[I'm] in!

Let's see, what to do...

[cheerfully] Richard Basehart! Richard Basehart!

[disgusted, after seeing Gypsy's hand] Oh, I fold!

Joel

[disappointed] Aw, Gypsy, you wrecked it; you had a great hand!

[as Magic Voice] Commercial sign! Commercial sign; pretty soon!

[as Gypsy] Loading Richard Basehart remark. Richard Basehart remark in 5, 4, 3... Richard Basehart now.

Joel

Okay; I think I get it now.

Servo

[as Crow] No, you don't; you've gone crazy!

[as Servo] I think you're insane, Joel!

Joel, I hope you're not playing too tough with those two.

Joel

No, ma'am!

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting in her one woman show: Gypsy!

Joel

Here we go!

Ssshh!

[singing] There’s a big frontier out there called life, I ain’t nobody’s daughter, I ain’t nobody’s wife, I’m gonna stake my very own claim of land, And you’re gonna wanna know who I am… I’m Gypsy! Gypsy Rose Me! Gypsy Rose, not you! Not you! Or you! Gypsy Rose… Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Thank you! Oh, thank you very much. You know, we're all traveling; You, me, that little gold guy over there. We're traveling on the big trip of life, and sometimes it turns out we haven't packed the right clothes for our personal journey. :[Gypsy takes off her coat, revealing a pink outfit underneath] "I've been struggling to make ends meet. The social worker stops by today, but we'll get by, somehow..." Thank you.

"I'm sick of fighting with you, boyfriend! But I'm not going to walk out that door; No sir, I'm going to run out that door!" Thank you, Thank you.

Hey, is my act interfering with your conversation, buddy? [Crow, Joel and Tom laugh heartily] You get three guys together, huh? What, some sort of love connection screwup? [Crow, Joel and Tom laugh again]

Yay!

Oh, thank you, thank you. What a night, everybody! But before I go, I want to tell you a little story; A story about a gal who ran the higher functions of a little satellite in a synchronous orbit, A gal that everyone thought was perhaps, a little slow, a little naïve, a little... simple. But let me tell you something about that gal. She has spirit, she had guts! and most of all, she had a huge heart. That gal was on her journey and when her luggage ended up on another planet, that gal picked herself up, dusted herself off and wore the same outfit 2 days in a row. That plucky little gal, is... me!