Emily quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Wow, even in silhouette, Joel is so very white.

[when an armed guard does nothing in regards to a nearby fight] Really low AI on the NPCs in this game.

[during a long panning shot of Mordrid's room during the title sequence] I think the camera operator might just be lost.

Meanwhile, at Netflix...

You know, I do the same thing when I can't get "Baby Shark" out of my head either.

Just act casual, and remember, if anyone asks, we hit a deer.

That's the sun, Johnny. It's our friend. It keeps the zombies at bay.

Wow, anybody else nauseous right now?

Why does the food go right into his stomach?

Servo

Oh, you're wondering how he eats, aren't you. Don't do that.

Joel

Hey, it's Donald Trump. He's chasing the good guys away. That doesn't make sense.

Servo

It makes perfect sense.

Hey, that joke has transcended time.

And space.

Well, the stimulator bots have already absorbed the behavior of Jonah's bots within seconds.

Servo

And your point?

That's not gonna be problematic...

I'll tell you what's problematic, your soul's gonna get crushed within seconds!

I'm used to it, I'm on Twitter.

Oh, she can finally clean that fan.

Feast your eyes on this.

Servo

Anything to take our eyes off of that.

That's a Tuscarora!

No, that's a pearl.

It's worth a thousand pesos, maybe more. Where'd you get it?

From a wet scared guy.

Can you fence it?

Fence? Hell, it'll go like wildfire! These are rare, I haven't seen one in years.

There's a lot more where that came from.

Servo

I got a guy shoving sand into oysters as we speak.

I'll supply, you deal, we'll split down the middle.

Splitting it? That's almost like half!

[shaking East Eddie's hand] Put 'er there, pard!

You got it, 'ner!

Eddie, you got money, and I'm a diver. Now all we need's a boat and some good equipment. You can pick 'em up for a song. Just give me a small advance, I can have us moving in a couple of days.

Uh, is she washing him with a chicken cutlet?

Listen, I know where you're coming from, and the idea's out of sight, but I want Vic Mathias in on this. He's an expert diver, he has his own boat, and he knows the islands like the back of his hand.

It's no good, it won't work. If we bring him in, we've got to make it a three-way scene.

So we'll split it three ways!

Ugh, but we're a dynamic duo, not a terrific trio!

No, we don't need him!

I want him! He'll keep us honest.

What are we, crooks?

Eddie, believe me, I know the region better than Mathias. I lived on the islands for five years, I've covered every inch of 'em. We can do it alone! Just tell me where you found them. It's probably an island I used to live on.

[hysterical] You can't live on an island! It's surrounded by WATER! How would you even get there??? HA HA HA!!!

I'm speaking to him in a dialect he can't refuse to understand!

Esperanto.

The truth!

Is East Eddie the bad guy???

And you talk to me in English!

Servo

That's why American tourists are beloved the world over.

I guess we hosts have to stick together.

Actually, historically we hosts have never stuck together. Kind of a host-eat-host world.

Oh really? 'Cause maybe working together you'd have been able to escape. I mean, how'd you do 20 of these experiments and never try outsmarting the Mads? I mean, I hate to use strong language but... they seem kind of dumb.

Yes, yes yes yes yes, good point! Perhaps with the proper cooperation, this forced vacation can be brought to a cessation!

Huh? Why are you talking in rhymes all of a sudden?

I will tell you later why I speak in rhyme, but unfortunately now, you've got-

MOVIE SIGN!

[to Syrene] I don't love you.

Okay, Syrene, play it cool. Don't let him know he's hurt you...

She really runs like a mermaid.

Wait. Stop. Come back.