[Black-caped, solemn nurse Jesse glides through the hospital ward lobby.]
CCrow
Ah, here comes Nurse-feratu.
“Manhunt in Space” · Season 4
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (5), Tom Servo (3), Joel Robinson (3), Gypsy (1)
[ Dr. Steve Hardy appears on-screen.]
CCrow
Hey, he was old even then!
Manhunt in Space (movie)
[A viewscreen on Rocky Jones' ship displays an image of a small, bumpy-looking planet.]
Look! It's the MST3K logo!
[aside] Uh, you're not supposed to know about that...
Oh, uh...
[Servo whistles innocently.]
CCrow
[regarding the debate of black and white movies vs. color films] The way I see it, Joel- The Joads had a depressing enough life as is, and then they filmed it in black and white. Gimme color; give me some pizzazz!
[during a host segment, the bots are performing a parody of General Hospital, each line punctuated by a sting organ noise]
[to Crow] Peggy, I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
CCrow
Oh my God; what is it? Is it a hiatus hernia?
No, it's not that.
CCrow
Is it the heartbreak of psoriasis?
No, it's not that.
CCrow
Is it a Mo-No on the A-Go-Go?
No, I'm afraid it's far worse than that.
CCrow
Please, Doc, tell me what it is!
Well, when you were walking down the hall earlier, the back of your hospital gown was open, and everyone could see your butt!
CCrow
[crying] I'll never live down the shaaaaaaame!
You know, my dear... in tough situations like this in the past, patients found the best thing is to be comforted by me- Dr. Chad Feelgood.
CCrow
Oh, Chad...
[enters as a nurse] You cad! I knew you were cheating on me!!
My dear, I can explain!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I- [to Crow] Hey; nice butt!
[Crow breaks down in tears along with Gypsy]
I can comfort you, I can-
What's going on here?
Oh no; it's Joel Robinson! The hard-drinking, heavy-fisted, cantankerous yet lovable hospital Administrator!
No, I'm not!
Oh no, and he's suffering from amnesia!
You guys, listen: I'm not gonna play soap opera with you. When I was 9 years old, my sister made me play soap opera with her. I'm not gonna play soap opera. [Cambot continues playing the soap opera sting music] Okay Cambot, that's it. Alright... that's it! [unplugs Cambot in irritation] Who's next?!
[Rocky's second-in-command Winky visits the Satellite of Love via the Hexfield screen, claiming to be a real ladies' man nowadays, while the bots are more than skeptical]
WSWinky's Mom
[after she answers the Bots' phone call to his house] Winky! Telephone!
WWinky
[flustered] Oh, um... yeah, Clarissa! Why don't ya start; the hot oil's warming up, I'll be right over!
WSWinky's Mom
What?!
[shocked] Oh my- Winky, that's your mother?!
CCrow
[after Joel cuts the communication from Winky] You think we were a little too hard on him?
Uh, actually I don't think we even got through to him; and for Winky's sake, I hope we never do.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.