Peg quotes from Married... with Children, page 4 ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Kathleen Freeman

2nd most-quoted character in Married... with Children: in 176 of its 613 quotes
Most scenes with: Al Bundy (113), Bud Bundy (27), Kelly Bundy (25)

Scenes with Peg 159

We don't need the lottery. We have each other.

Peg

I want the lottery.

S3 E5 A Dump of My Own

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Peg

I swear that he is more in love with that toilet than he is with me.

Marcy

Oh, of course he is not.

Hey, Peg [hugs the toilet]. Daddy loves you. Daddy loves you.

Peg

What does that toilet have that I don't?

A job.

S3 E5 A Dump of My Own

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Marcy

Oh, Peggy, I'm so worried about Steve. He's acting very strangely. Last night we had sex and he wore a sombrero.

Peg

Ooh! The ribbed kind?

Marcy

On his head, Peggy. It's a hat.

Peg

You have to put your foot down. If I didn't, Al world still be wearing the walkman.

S3 E7 The Bald and the Beautiful

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MOMadam Olga

I feel very strong vibrations here.

[to Peg] Did you leave your toy running under the couch again?

Peg

No, it's in the shop getting turbo charged.

S3 E8 The Gypsy Cried

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[Al comes in with a perm.]

Peg

You look like a fruit, Al.

Thanks, Peg.

Bud

Pretty cool, Dad. You have that "no closet can hold me" look.

Kelly

Leave Dad alone, you guys. (to Al): You're still going to wear men's clothing, aren't you?

S3 E9 Requiem for a Dead Barber

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I forgot my wallet, Peg.

Bud

He's such a nerd.

Peg

Now, kids, give your father a chance. (To Al) So, what are your going to do, idiot?

S3 E11 Eatin' Out

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Peg

How long do you think it will take them?

Well, it took us 40 minutes to get here one way & knowing how Kelly drives, they should be there & back in about 8 minutes.

S3 E11 Eatin' Out

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Peg

What's wrong with you getting a second job?

Peg, let me state this as clearly as I can. I would rather rip off my nose with a can opener. I would rather bob for apples in a sewer. I would rather have a catheter the size of a garden hose before I get another job to pay for your shopping.

S3 E14 A Three Job, No Income Family

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Al deduces what the reason for Peggy's big checks are

Peg, why did you not sell the cosmetics?

Peg

Well, my friends decided they were not as good as other cosmetics.

OK, fine. So why in the world would you buy off yourself?

Peg

To get the commission checks!

Al gives strained look of rage

You see Peg, when you buy off yourself you get less coming in than what you owe. In the shoe business lingo we call that...SENDING YOUR HUSBAND ROCKETING TO THE POORHOUSE! How much do you owe?

Peg{sheepishly}: Minus the commission checks?

Yes, Peg.

Peg

$627.

Al{sternly}: Well, looks like we will have to keep up the part-time job until the debt is retired.

Scene shifts to Burger Trek. An improperly-wrapped hamburger is sent out a chute to a customer's tray

CCaptain

Did not make the noise, Bundy!

Kitchen. Peg is now working at Burger Trek instead of Al

Peg{on microphone}: Whoosh!

S3 E14 A Three Job, No Income Family

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Peg, let me explain something. Since you're the only one buying the cosmetics, you're not actually making any money.

Peg

Oh, yes I am! They send me checks!

Ah, yes. But you send them much bigger ones. And in business, that's that we call... SENDING YOUR HUSBAND ROCKETING TO THE POORHOUSE! Why didn't you sell any makeup, Peg?

Peg

Well, like I told the girls... it's not very good.

Well, then why did you keep buying it?

Peg

'Cause that's how I make my money!

Al gives a strained look of rage, wiping away a tear.

How much do we owe for the cosmetics, Peg?

Peg

(naively) Minus my commission?

Yes.

Peg

...$623.

(sighs) Well, at least you're not in real estate. (gets up)

Peg

Where are you going?

We owe a lot of money, Peg. I know what I have to do...

Scene shifts to Burger Trek. An improperly-wrapped hamburger is sent out a chute to a customer's tray.

CCaptain

You didn't make the noise, Bundy!

Kitchen. Peg is now working at Burger Trek instead of Al.

Peg

(to microphone) Whoosh!

S3 E14 A Three Job, No Income Family

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Marcy

If I had my way, I'd have them round up everyone of those inconsiderate savages, bury them up to their necks and run them over with the grain reaper.

Peg

You know, I feel the same way about that Pippi Longstocking girl. God I hate her!

S3 E15 The Harder They Fall

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Okay, Peg, what do we got? The Terminator? The Predator? (Peg hands Al the tape): Oh, Heavenly Dog? Peg, I wanted Schwarzenegger.

Peg

I did too, Al. But I got you, and you got Beta.

S3 E15 The Harder They Fall

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[Al and Peg are going outside to sleep.]

Peg

Oh, no, Al! It's raining!

Good. I'll sleep with my mouth open. Maybe I'll drown.

S3 E16 The House That Peg Lost

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Peg

So I let the plumber in over at Steve and Marcy's house.

Al (sarcastically): Oh, they'll be so happy. (drops the sarcasm): By the way, did you know their house is gone?

Peg (confused): What do you mean, "gone"?

Gone. Like my hopes, my dreams, my future.

Peg (finally understanding what he means): Oh, you mean "gone". (gets up to look out the door window): It can't be gone. (looks outside): Al, Steve and Marcy's house is gone!

Nothing gets by you, does it, Peg? Except a house!

S3 E16 The House That Peg Lost

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Peg, I don't like going to your mother's. I see how she looks at me: like I was between two pieces of bread. We all know what happened to her dog.

Peg

They never proved that.

S3 E16 The House That Peg Lost

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