Griff quotes from Married... with Children

Al

Hey, Griff, Where's your Christmas spirit?

Griff

My ex-wife got it in the divorce settlement.

Griff

That doesn't look like a "C"!

Al

When your blood has more alcohol than plasma, they're all tough letters.

Al

I can't believe you're still upset about that little practical joke.

Griff

You sent me to Death Row.

Al

You made a few close friends. And they gave you a cool nickname, Black Beauty.

Griff

Mrs. Black Beauty.

Al

You said you wanted to remarry.

Griff

Yeah but not to a 250-pound Filipino.

Al

Since when are you prejudiced?

Griff

They strapped me in the electric chair.

Al

We would have rescued you sooner, but when you order a burger well-done, it oughta come well-done.

Al

We have two eager, young boys hanging around us. Do you know what that makes us?

Griff

Michael Jackson?

Where do you think you're going? Aren't you open?

Al

Sorry ma'am, but unlike your mouth, we occasionally close.

I want my money back! These shoes fell apart after only one day and I wanna know why!

Griff

Well you see, ma'am, this is a pliant heel with a cork filling...

Al

Whereas you are a giant seal with a pork filling.

You haven't heard the last of this! What goes around comes around!

Al

Well judging by your orbit, looks like I have about ten more years.