Officer Dan quotes from Married... with Children

Peg

Well, at least it's over.

Al

Ah, no, Peg, it's not over. [opens the door, revealing the police] Now it's over! (to the police): What's for dinner tonight in the slammer, guys?

Officer Dan

Same thing every night: Weenie Tots.

Marcy

OK, I admit it. There are times I do need a man in my life. Oh, boys!

Officer Dan

Is that Jerry Springer?

Yes, sir.

Officer Dan

Tie him back up, I hate that guy!

Officer Dan

Say... aren't you Jerry Springer, the "Masculine Feminist"?

Yes, I am.

Officer Dan

Tie him back up! (a patrolman does so) I hate that guy.

Jefferson

(reading the assembly instructions) Let's see here. I've got Bracket S and Washer T. Hey, Dan. Hand me Screw U.

Officer Dan

What?

Jefferson

I said Screw U.

Officer Dan

(angry) Well, up yours, you-! (draws his gun on Jefferson)

Al

(stepping between them) Focus, gentlemen! Focus, focus!

Dan

Call it in the air.

Kelly

It's a coin.

Dan

You win.

Officer Dan

Al, I thought we agreed you weren't going to carry a gun.

Al

Don't worry. I know how to handle this thing.

Peg

That's what he said on our honeymoon.