Narrator quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Julia, what you got in here is enough for two orders.

Okay.

I'm going to toss all this (spaghetti) out. [dumps it in the garbage]

Away next, scallop, risotto, spaghetti yes?

Ladies, spaghetti!

You need more spaghetti Julia? Oh, I fucking just tossed it! Let me just get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. (interview) We had an order for spaghetti and I threw out what we had and I just decided to retrieve the spaghetti from the top of the garbage and washed it. 212 (degrees) kills the bacteria and I decided to serve it.

Where did you get it from?

The garbage on top.

Oh no, no, no. No way. (interview) Who in the world picks food out of the trash? You can't just do anything in the heat of the moment.

(not having seen what Jen did) How long Julia?

Six minutes chef.

Oh dear.

Julia's quality control kept garbage from being served and Jen should consider herself lucky Chef Ramsay didn't witnessed her mistake. Meanwhile in the blue kitchen, the pressure is on Josh and Brad to get out some entrées.

Let's do two wellingtons, one turbot. Lets go.

Josh, did you hear that? I'm going on two wellingtons. Can you, I need you guys to go.

That's not a problem. How long on the wellingtons?

I can go right now.

No, I can't.

You can't? I need to pull this out then.

Hey, JOSH!

Yes, chef.

Fucking little bastard. Hey, are you just trying to sabotage them?

No way, chef.

So that it makes you look good?

No way, chef.

Who's the first person you should be telling?

I should talk to him (Brad), chef. I should talk to meat station. It was my fault, chef. (defensively) No sabotage. (interview) I wasn't trying to sabotage. Are you crazy?

You deserve a kick in the nuts.

Yes, chef.

Hey, start the fucking table again.

Now it all comes down to the meat entrée.

(interview) Tied 1-1. All the pressure is riding on...me.

Third and final dish. Please present the meat entrées.

(to Jen) We shouldn't send it.

Please present the meat entrées together.

Ready, Jen?

Jen, don't send it. Don't.

Melissa, I don't know what you're trying to do, or whether you're trying to upset our guests. But right now, I'm starting to get pissed. Now will you send your food?

Let's go. [Rock and Jen bring the meat entrées to the table.]

Right. Domes off. [Rock and Jen reveal their dishes, Jen's dish is a small dried up duck breast on a bare plate.] Alright... okay... ahem...

(interview) There are no words to say how humiliating it was serving a piece of shit duck to a husband and wife to be. I really wanted to disintegrate.

Oh dear. Jen.

Yes, chef?

Describe the dish.

That's a duck breast... um...

First of all, I'm deeply embarrassed.

I am as well. (interview) I was so embarrassed you know. They probably think I cooked it. I had nothing to do with that!

Rock, please explain.

We have a dry aged rib eye that's been pan seared and served with wild mushroom cream sauce.

Thank you. [gives Carlotta the rib eye and Cyrus the duck breast]

[trying to cut through the duck] Oh wow, this is really tough.

I'm so sorry. Nobody's going to be eating that, are they? [takes the duck away and covers it with a napkin, then looks at the Red Team in disgust]

[tasting the rib eye] This is delicious. That's great.

Definitely.

Rock's rib eye easily beats the women's lame duck and the men win their first challenge in Hell's Kitchen.

(interview) Two things are happening right now. Number one, we finally got a win and we feel great about it. Number two, it's open hunting season on chicks and we're about to start picking them off one by one.

My, er, apologies, and we'll do all that we can to make sure it's a very special day. Thank you for joining us for the tasting.

Thank you. [she and Cyrus leave]

(to the Red Team) You four Hell's Bitches, I am embarrassed. I don't think I've ever, EVER been so embarrassed inside this restaurant in my entire life. That was a joke! You should be ashamed. All four of you are going to work your asses off. Get - out - my - sight.

Where is the sauce for the seabass?

It's right here, Chef. (brings his sauce to the pass)

Josh is moving fast to get entrees to the pass.

Hey you, come here.

...maybe, a little too fast.

Heat the sauce up! IT'S STONE-COOOOOOOLD! Look at him, running around with a pan! Oh, my-GET IT ON THE STOVE!

For the first time in Hell's Kitchen, the women and men must work together in one kitchen to feed the entire dining room.

I'm going to have the spaghetti with crab.

I'll have scallops for appetizers.

On order, four covers table 32: Scallops, mullet, langoustine straight after yes?

Yes, chef! (interview) I'm working app(etizer)s tonight. I am 100% confident in myself to get the team started off with a bang. (to his teammates) Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

[finds that Josh has cooked risotto ahead] Why is the risotto on? We haven't even got one away. How long has that been on there for?

That's been on there for four minutes. These were on there earlier. They're going away.

[finds that Josh has cooked five other risottos] Fucking h-- how many are you doing? Can someone stop this guy? Have you stopped panicking, my ma-- how many fucking risottos are you doing up front? Look at all these pans!

Yes, chef.

What's going on? Let me just tell you something: we've opened, we haven't served anything yet, and we've lost money! What a fucking doughnut!

While Julia struggles to get her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

What the fuck is he doing? [sees more spaghetti in the basket] Wha? More spaghetti in there! [dumps it in the bin]

Sorry.

We cook spaghetti to order!

Yes, chef.

Even the fucking, dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order, you donkey!

Yes, chef.

I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing.

I'm here, chef.

You're pushing me to the fucking limit, big boy, yeah?

More than a hour into dinner service, guests are finally getting a taste of Josh's appetizers.

How's everything?

[whispers in JP's ear] It's undercooked.

Oh, my God!

Risotto undercooked, chef.

Sorry?

Under-cooked, chef.

Oh, my God almighty! [tastes the risotto, then spits it out] Ugh! Ugh! Oh, fuck off! Fuck-- (to Josh) come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here, you! What are you doing? Just what the FUCK are you doing? Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me, and you're fucking useless. What are you doing?

Sorry, chef.

Yeah, do me a favor.

Yes, chef?

[rips Josh's jacket open] Take that off and FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT! Hey, you! Leave the jacket and GET OUT! GET OUT!

Give me the jacket!

I'm giving you--

Give me the FUCKING jacket! [Gordon takes the jacket from Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom] Fucking useless sack of SHIT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

[leaving Hell's Kitchen] (interview; imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would have given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting because I came here with a dream to win...and it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over, guys.

The four remaining chefs have managed to move on to desserts. But the moment is anything but sweet.

What is this? Is this yours?

That's the ice cream base. Put it over there if you could on the sink. [Rock puts the base on the counter where Bonnie is working. Jen reaches in front of Bonnie for the container.] Asshole!

You a fucking asshole!

Hey, hey, hey! Do you mind? We're not arguing amongst ourselves are we?

No, chef.

Yeah the fucking weak link is gone, now you should start fucking working as a team!

Don't jump when you say jump!

Stop, stop, stop.

Who the fuck you think you're talking to.

Stop!

I can not run this kitchen like this!

Big man. Big man.

Big man shit.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! [bangs the overhead] Enough's enough.

Big man shit!

You guys, knock it off. Okay, we got one brulee, one panna cotta, and then we're done.

Despite the ongoing fighting,...

Simple ass broad.

You're crazy.

...The aspiring chefs manage to successfully complete dinner service.

With Rosann's dish receiving a good review from Chef Ramsay, things might be looking up.

[reveals Petrozza's dish, which is a whole pumpkin] Oh, fuck me...

...Or are they?

What in the fuck? Happy Halloween?

(interview) People ask me what my speciality is. But, I don't have a speciality; I can cook anything.

What is that?

There's a Cornish hen inside, Chef.

A Cornish hen? What'd you do to it to get it in there?

It got in there-- I got it in-- I got it in there.

Holy shit. [removes the pumpkin] These are potatoes?

Yes, sir.

In how much grease and fat and oil did you fry them?

There's some butter in there.

[holding up a dripping pile of potatoes] Some butter in that?

That's a lot of butter.

Well, just stop there. That goes in there. [scrapes the potatoes into the bin] And let's see what we got for trick-or-treat, shall we?

Okay.

[removes the top of the pumpkin] Oh, my God... How do you get in there and eat it? I mean, am I missing a trick?

It's plated tableside.

Oh.

It's- it's presented like that.

Alright, off you go. Take your time. [Petrozza splits the pumpkin open, revealing a greasy blob of meat] Oh, my God. Okay, stop right there. I don't think I'll get through that, do you?

Okay, no.

So, what's the, uh... dish called?

Hen in a pumpkin.

Right now, looking at that mess, I'd like to stick your fucking head in there, you know that? [tastes the dish] It's dry.

Yeah, well...

And the pumpkin's not even seasoned inside, it's just bland! You'd have more of a chance sticking a candle in there for Halloween to make me happy than you would sticking a hen in there. Fuck off.

(interview) Chef Ramsay said he was looking for something memorable. And I believe my dish was memorable.

Bobby, what are the five entrées on the menu?

Uh... we have... uh, I'm not sure.

Matt, what are the five entrées?

Uh... there's uh... [Now Jen and Shayna also have their hands raised, just like Christina] I don't know chef.

WHAT!? Petrozza! WHAT ARE THE ENTREÉS!?

Um... um...

Chef Ramsay has just discovered one minor problem...

(interview) Nobody has a damn clue of what's going on!

My God! Christina what are the five entrées?

We have a lamb en croute, salmon, john dory, beef fillet and poached and roasted chicken, sir.

Thank you. (in a sigh of relief)

(smirks) (interview) The guys suck and they're going to go down in flames. That makes me happy!

Guys, what is the matter? Already you look like a bunch of dicks and we haven't even fucking opened!

(interview) Knowing the menu is one thing, cooking the menu is another thing.

Scallops, risotto, how long?

Right now, right now. [brings his risotto to the pass]

Where's the scallops? [Dominic is still holding raw scallops in his hand] What's he done?

They're like little burnt bits of something here.

Oh, my God. The rice is overcooked.

Ow, that's hot!

Hey you, come here! I've had enough! You can't even get two fucking dishes together, that's how shit you've been! I don't want any more embarrassments. I just wanna go with some food!!

It's over an hour into the first dinner service, and Jason is about to get an invitation.

Sit down and eat that! I want you to taste what you are trying to serve Hell's Kitchen. Sit down. Let me know when you're done. I'll get dessert!

(interview) I am horribly embarrassed at myself. I should've fucking stayed home.

Stuff your face, y'bastard.

As the men go off for a day of hard labor, Chef Ramsay and the women are off to the Sunset Strip. Little does Chef know...

Okay. Off we go.

One of Hell's Kitchen's former chefs is a regular at the Saddle Ranch.

Yee-hah! Howdy, Chef Ramsay!

Oh, my God.

[goes over and hugs Gordon] Good to see you, Chef.

I feel like crying. [pretends to cry] [flashback to season 3 where Aaron cried minutes before service]

[laughs] Don't cry, Chef!

While General Bobby feeds his troops in the Blue dining room, customers on the Red side are sending out distress signals.

...But the diners aren't the only ones in need of rescue.

Oh, no. Oh, no, come on. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stand back! Stand back! Stand BACK!! [removes the meat from the pan] There's cooking, and there's fucking bonfire-- STAND BACK!!! Same shit, different day. [throws the pan in the sink, where the fire blows up, then dies.] This is fucking embarrassing!!

(interview) My mind is racing, my heart is pounding...

That's not a fucking sauté pan, that's a FURNACE! LOOK at the meat!!

(interview) I blew four pieces of meat on there. It was just really horrible for me. I'm hoping I'm never going to have that happen again.

It's SCORCHED! Cooking, my ass!

As the Red team, once again, starts over on their entrées, Jason starts preparing his first desserts.

Is this the right way to do it? I hope it is. (interview) I don't have a clue on this earth what I'm doing. I hate desserts! They're tedious! Women can make desserts, you know? It ain't my thing. (to Louross) ...5 minutes for the crème brûlée, so I have two of those in.

Your crème brûlée's done already!

No, it's not. That's not cooked.

That's cooked!

Oh, Jesus Christ. (interview) The soufflés looked like muffins in a cup! I don't know what was wrong, because I don't know desserts, but I know they would not come up for nothing!

Jason!

Yes?

What's happening with the desserts?

The soufflés are not coming out at all; they're sticking!

Come here a minute.

Okay. [goes over to Gordon] I cannot get them to come up, they're sticking really bad, they look like shit, they look like muffins.

(in a fast tone) So, are we going to take it off the menu, are we going to do something constructive, are we going to do anything about it...

I'm, I'm trying something new. I'm going to take some sugar and rub it around the rim, and try to get that... and... that's what I'm trying to do right now.

You're going to get some sugar and rub it around the rim?

Sugar-- no, no-- sugar, butter, and the cocoa powder, and see if that keeps them from sticking. :[Gordon goes over to the hotplate and repeatedly bangs his head on the counter]

45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.

The onion rings are good. I like them.

The onion rings are getting positive reviews.

The chicken however...

(As Jean-Philippe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?

Yeah, raw chicken chef.

Oh fucking hell. GENTLEMEN! [slams the plates down] RAW CHICKEN! Matt! [kicks the bins] Pink and bloody! [throws the chicken in the bin] Come here you. Fucking prick!

Yes, chef.

What the fuck are you doing?

Yes, chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.

(interview) Oh, my God. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just fucking nasty.

It's the tartare again with you isn't it?

That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?

No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.

You can manage to fuck up raw food. WAKE UP!

Yes, chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.

Hey guys. Louross, come here!

Chef!

Come on, quickly, let's go! Touch that!

Still kind of lukewarm, chef.

What did I request, temperature?

Medium well, chef.

Get it back in the pan!

(interview) I got this, I have to do it. I can cook a steak, you know what I'm saying, but like, what the hell happened?

The pan's burning, Louross, it's about to go up in flames. Charcoal beef. [Louross's meat pan emits a flame]. Do you honestly not know how to cook a steak medium well?

I know how to cook a steak, chef!

So why aren't you doing it then, Louross?

(to himself) Come on babe, come on, fuck!

Come on, Louross!

Plating up now chef, we're plating up!

(checks the steaks) Louross, What's up man? How come I can't see the nice beautiful inside of the beef?

I cut it in half then I just seared it to cook it off -

No, see, the correct answer is you fucked it up, you didn't cook it right, and you're trying to get it by me. Do you have another one that I can see a nice pink center in?

Yes, chef! [to Petrozza] Do you have another one with a nice pink center in it?

Nah I.. No. That one won't work?

No, that one's not going to work.

With no steaks ready to serve, Louross's situation is looking grim.

Fuckin' send me home, that's what they're going to do.

But Petrozza has a plan.

[notices Gordon isn't in their kitchen] This is our chance.

It's not going to work, it's not going to work.

This is the only shot that we got. (interview) We had to show the base of the beef, so I had to slice a sliver off it. I want to get the fucking food out!

It's not... It's fucked up already if it shows up...

(interview) He sliced that paper thin and I looked at him and I'm like are you serious? And he's like yeah! But damn, do you see the color on that steak? It was straight medium-well!

How's that one? Looks like it fucking works to me.

Hey Louross, where's that beef?

Here's the beef. [brings up his altered beef]

Much better.