“Episode Eight” quotes from Hell's Kitchen

For the first time in Hell's Kitchen, the women and men must work together in one kitchen to feed the entire dining room.

I'm going to have the spaghetti with crab.

I'll have scallops for appetizers.

On order, four covers table 32: Scallops, mullet, langoustine straight after yes?

Yes, chef! (interview) I'm working app(etizer)s tonight. I am 100% confident in myself to get the team started off with a bang. (to his teammates) Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

[finds that Josh has cooked risotto ahead] Why is the risotto on? We haven't even got one away. How long has that been on there for?

That's been on there for four minutes. These were on there earlier. They're going away.

[finds that Josh has cooked five other risottos] Fucking h-- how many are you doing? Can someone stop this guy? Have you stopped panicking, my ma-- how many fucking risottos are you doing up front? Look at all these pans!

Yes, chef.

What's going on? Let me just tell you something: we've opened, we haven't served anything yet, and we've lost money! What a fucking doughnut!

Rock!

Yes, chef?

Yeah, you can fuck yourself! Look at that there, look at that. There you go. Come on! Oh, fucking hell. Three more scallops in! It takes one minute to sauté the scallops. Is that what we serve in Hell's Kitchen?

Not at all, chef.

We're going from fucking bad to worse, man.

(interview) It just seemed so comical. Rock and Josh aren't doing well.

Scallops, risottos, spaghetti! (to Josh) What's in that basket?

This is one of the pulled--

Why? Just talk to me. Why? Why? Why? [sees that there's already spaghetti in the basket]

Start anew. Start anew.

Oh, fuck me. In your restaurant before you come here, do you cook spaghetti before the customer orders it?

Never, chef.

So why are you doing it here?

It was wrong.

Oh, was it really wrong? Even my mum cooks spaghetti seven minutes before she wants it. Get it in the bin!

Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck. Josh, you're putting more spaghetti in! It's not away!

I heard two spaghetti.

It's the third and fourth table that's right. PUT IT IN THE BIN!

Going in the bin right now chef.

Oh fuck me.

While Julia struggles to get her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

What the fuck is he doing? [sees more spaghetti in the basket] Wha? More spaghetti in there! [dumps it in the bin]

Sorry.

We cook spaghetti to order!

Yes, chef.

Even the fucking, dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order, you donkey!

Yes, chef.

I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing.

I'm here, chef.

You're pushing me to the fucking limit, big boy, yeah?

More than a hour into dinner service, guests are finally getting a taste of Josh's appetizers.

How's everything?

[whispers in JP's ear] It's undercooked.

Oh, my God!

Risotto undercooked, chef.

Sorry?

Under-cooked, chef.

Oh, my God almighty! [tastes the risotto, then spits it out] Ugh! Ugh! Oh, fuck off! Fuck-- (to Josh) come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here, you! What are you doing? Just what the FUCK are you doing? Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me, and you're fucking useless. What are you doing?

Sorry, chef.

Yeah, do me a favor.

Yes, chef?

[rips Josh's jacket open] Take that off and FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT! Hey, you! Leave the jacket and GET OUT! GET OUT!

Give me the jacket!

I'm giving you--

Give me the FUCKING jacket! [Gordon takes the jacket from Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom] Fucking useless sack of SHIT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

[leaving Hell's Kitchen] (interview; imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would have given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting because I came here with a dream to win...and it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over, guys.

The four remaining chefs have managed to move on to desserts. But the moment is anything but sweet.

What is this? Is this yours?

That's the ice cream base. Put it over there if you could on the sink. [Rock puts the base on the counter where Bonnie is working. Jen reaches in front of Bonnie for the container.] Asshole!

You a fucking asshole!

Hey, hey, hey! Do you mind? We're not arguing amongst ourselves are we?

No, chef.

Yeah the fucking weak link is gone, now you should start fucking working as a team!

Don't jump when you say jump!

Stop, stop, stop.

Who the fuck you think you're talking to.

Stop!

I can not run this kitchen like this!

Big man. Big man.

Big man shit.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! [bangs the overhead] Enough's enough.

Big man shit!

You guys, knock it off. Okay, we got one brulee, one panna cotta, and then we're done.

Despite the ongoing fighting,...

Simple ass broad.

You're crazy.

...The aspiring chefs manage to successfully complete dinner service.