Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race quotes

Devin

[reading the tip] Aw, sweet! Looks like we're going to Paris!

Carrie

[gasps in surprise; excitedly] Oh yeah?

Don

Paris, France. Home of the Mona Lisa, tiny coffee's and other things that annoy me like you wouldn't believe. [Cut to him standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower] Once in Paris, teams must make their way here, to the Eiffel Tower and find their next tip.

Miles

We walked our camel through the desert yesterday instead of riding him, so that way he can stay hydrated.

Laurie

And today, we're pedaling our moped so we don't use its fuel. [gasps in realization] I wish there was a way we could give this moped to our camel, right?

Josee

Gold medal, whoo! [yells in fear as the Police Cadets crash into them from behind]

MacArthur

Nailed it! [gets a tip from the Don box] Huh. It's a Botch or Watch.

Don

In this Botch or Watch, whoever didn't eat the stew in Morocco must draw a caricature of their partner. When this local French artiste approves of the drawing, they'll receive their next tip.

Devin

[as the local artiste rejects their caricature] What do you mean "no?" She got an "A" in art last semester. [the artiste shows him the caricature of him laying down with a six-pack] Oh, I see! It's too realistic.

Emma's always been the serious one, but ever since her boyfriend, Jake, broke up with her two years ago, she's been super-

[covers her sister's mouth] Fine. I've been super fine.

Ennui

This place could be an amusement park or a camp for kids.

MacArthur

Well, if it isn't the smiling silvertons.

Josee

[kicks the cheese out the way, revealing the next tip, in sign form] I hate silver!

Jacques

[reading] "Take your cheese and sail away to where Mona Lisa's on display."

Sanders

The Louvre!

Don

The Louvre-- home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching.

Josee

Bye! You stink worse than this cheese float!

MacArthur

Too bad you forgot your oars!

Jacques

Darn it!

Josee

Jacques, you were supposed to get the oars!

Laurie

The thought of coming last made us realize that we needed to step up our game.

Miles

Yeah, we were super charged up.

Gerry

[as the Vegans pedal past him and Pete; surprised] How is that possible? We're athletes. They eat bird seeds and dust!

Laurie

Pass the bird seeds.

Miles

You want some dust on that?

Don

Reality TV Pros, your penalty is up!

Gerry

It's a tie! We all stay!

Don

Not quite. I'm afraid you're going home.

What? Why?!

Don

Your foot wasn't completely on the carpet, it was just out.

Don

Yesterday's Chill Zone was the Louvre, which is today's starting point. Teams will start in the order they finished, which means Cadets are-- [The Ice Dancers walk up instead of the Police Cadets; halts them] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yesterday's winners go first, icecapades.

MacArthur

Yeah, relax, silver streak!

Sanders

Wait your turn!

Sanders

[takes a tip from the Don box] "Take the train to Calanque de Maubois on the Mediterranean coast, and search the station for your next travel tip." Let's go!

Don

[voiceover, a map displays the northern part of France with Paris indicated by the Eiffel Tower, a dotted line travels to the southern part of France] Teams must take the train south to Calanque de Maubois. Calanque de Maubois skirts the Mediterranean south of France with sand so fine you WANT it to get in your shorts. The Red Cliffs are just one of the many sites that make this a popular tourist spot. (Cut to the beach; in a speedo) Did I mention that the beaches are awesome? Because they ARE. [A crab pulls on his speedo and releases it; yelps in pain]

Whoo, fun!

Stop it. [Kitty followers her, cuts to a mime gets carried by a wind while his hat blew off by a going taxi]

I took the subway, he took a taxi.

Can you tell Lorenzo that the time he wasn't with me was the best part of the trip so far?

What?! Please tell Chet, that before he was in my life was the best part of my life so far!

Dwayne

[grabs a tip from the Don box] It's a Botch or Watch. Whose turn is it?

Junior

Yours. What's the challenge?

Brody

[reading] "Who Wants to Swim With…" [gasps in horror] SHARKS?!

Don

In this Botch or Watch challenge, whoever didn't draw the caricature in Paris must swim to this part of the Mediterranean, and retrieve a travel tip from the dorsal fin of a great white sh- [screams as a shark pops out from the water; shaking his fist] Uh… Try that again, and you'll get a taste of this! Huh? Wanna dance with the widow-maker?

Sanders

"Note: Eaten teammates will result in disqualification." Wow, they really thought of everything.