MacArthur quotes from Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race

MacArthur

[as the local rejects their second costume] It's called being creative!

MacArthur

We're allowed to fart? (Farts) Why didn't anyone tell me?! (Farting)

MacArthur

Back at the academy, I pepper-sprayed all my meals to build up in immunity to it. [eats a handful of hottest peppers] So eating the hottest pepper is easy-peasy. [as a single sound effect and more sound effects rise] SANDERS, JUMP! I NEED MILK!!

MacArthur

My dad would always pressure me into winning and coming first.

Josee

Gold medal, whoo! [yells in fear as the Police Cadets crash into them from behind]

MacArthur

Nailed it! [gets a tip from the Don box] Huh. It's a Botch or Watch.

Don

In this Botch or Watch, whoever didn't eat the stew in Morocco must draw a caricature of their partner. When this local French artiste approves of the drawing, they'll receive their next tip.

MacArthur

Well, if it isn't the smiling silvertons.

Josee

[kicks the cheese out the way, revealing the next tip, in sign form] I hate silver!

Jacques

[reading] "Take your cheese and sail away to where Mona Lisa's on display."

Sanders

The Louvre!

Don

The Louvre-- home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching.

Josee

Bye! You stink worse than this cheese float!

MacArthur

Too bad you forgot your oars!

Jacques

Darn it!

Josee

Jacques, you were supposed to get the oars!

Don

Yesterday's Chill Zone was the Louvre, which is today's starting point. Teams will start in the order they finished, which means Cadets are-- [The Ice Dancers walk up instead of the Police Cadets; halts them] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yesterday's winners go first, icecapades.

MacArthur

Yeah, relax, silver streak!

Sanders

Wait your turn!

MacArthur

[reading the tip] It's a Botch or Watch.

Don

In this Botch or Watch, whoever didn't swim with sharks in the Mediterranean must try and perform a Brazilian write of passage, and stick their hand inside this mitt full of venomous bullet ants to retrieve their next travel tip. [throws a chicken piece in the mitt] This is insane!

Bullet ants?

Little known fact: the pain caused by their venom can last 24 hours.

[disappointed]: Oh, great.

Mickey

I've been bitten by venomous creatures so often, I've developed an immunity! Last year on a school trip to Seaville, a box jellyfish sat on my head like a hat! [He and Jay try to high five but they miss] We don't high five much, it's pretty new to us. [Jay accidentally smacks him and he bumps into Laurie, causing her face to fall into the mitt and get bitten by the ants] I am so sorry, Laurie!

Laurie

[slurred voice] No, no. I-I deserve that. [the other teams react in horror at Laurie’s swollen face] What? What's wrong?

Miles

Um, nothing. [takes the tip off Laurie's head] Okay. "Feeling divine? Then swing your butts to the coconuts."

Don

[swinging across the gorge on a vine, yelling like Tarzan] Teams must cross this gorge by any means necessary, and then search for their next tip, hidden in these piles of coconuts.

Laurie

Sounds good to me. Let's go!

Miles

Uh, okay, this way!

Called it! [sticks his hand in the mitt and screams as he gets bitten]

It's my turn to botch! [sticks his hand in the mitt and screams as he gets bitten while getting the tip]

MacArthur

[pushes Mickey out of the way] Hey, bullet ants, welcome to the gun show! WHOO-BOOM! [sticks her hand in the mitt and screams in pain as she gets bitten] Aah, they're on my person, they're on my person! [runs off with Sanders]

Pst. He was here first. It's his turn.

Taylor

[annoyed] Ugh. Fine, but I'm next.

Don

In this All-In challenge, one team member has to make a headpiece, the other a tail, worthy of walking the parade during Carnival. When this local approves of their handy work, they'll get their next tip.

MacArthur

Piece of cake. [interview] I know how to make costumes. I went trick-or-treating as a beat cop for 10 years straight.

Sanders

Seriously? Every year?

MacArthur

Well, one time I mixed it up and went as a parole officer, so, yeah.

Don

The lady cops take the lead, and back at the bullet ants, teams from plane #1 are still botching-or-watching.

Geoff

[after getting both his hands bitten by the ants] I pump iron. So, once righty started swelling, I just had to switch to the left. Symmetry is what bodybuilding's all about.

Brody

Dude, your mitts are ripped!

Kelly

[to her daughter while grabbing onto a vine] Hop on, and hold on! DO IT!

Taylor

Mom, stop. You know screaming makes your neck waddle.

Josee

How are you feeling?

Jacques

I can't feel my face!

Josee

Good. [feeds the street food to Jacques to eat it] Done! We're in first place! [gets the tip] It's a Botch or Watch, "Who ever didn't look for rings in Hawaii…"

Don

Must pull their teammate by rickshaw all the way here, to the Great Wall of China. Using only their unimentally map. Last team to find the Chill Zone hidden somewhere along the wall and check in, could be checking out.

Jacques

Orivwa!

MacArthur

Hussle!

Don

Last episode's Chill Zone sits atop the Great Wall of China. That makes it today's starting point. And last episode's winners are the first team to grab a tip.

Ryan

[takes a tip from the Don box and Stephanie swipes it out of his hand] You gonna tell me what it says?

Stephanie

You gonna let me read it? [interview] We can't quit now. The prize money's like our children. We're staying together for the kids.

Ryan

I heard they're changing our name from the Daters to the Haters.

Stephanie

Hey, go for it. My hate for him won us the last round, so today, I plan to hate him even more.

Ryan

I couldn't hate her more if I tried. They might as well just give us the money right now.

Stephanie

[reading] "Fly to Oulu, Finland."

Finland?

Don

Finland. This European country is home to countless coffee drinkers, cellphone users, and the most saunas per capita, which is where the teams are headed. Here, to this Don box of the piping hot sauna's Apena Pilei Spa. Why suffer in the cold…when you can suffer in the heat?

MacArthur

Why aren't you two making out anymore, huh? Got tired of the… [makes kissing noises]

Sanders

Okay, that's really distracting. Just sit there and navigate.

MacArthur

It's a little something I like to call strategy.

MacArthur

Hey, once you're up there, if you double-cross us, I'll make you pay.

Jacques

Pfft. You don't scare me.

MacArthur

[pulls him down and grabs him by the collar; threateningly] I'll break your limbs, tie you into a knot, and throw you off a cliff.

Jacques

Okay, that actually does scare me.

MacArthur

You’ll have to get out there and patch her up ASAP.

Sanders

You’re not gonna stop first?

MacArthur

Agh, new plan! [drives faster to crash into a red vehicle making the Ice Dancers scream in terror] BOOYA!